mum not respecting boundaries

i’m almost 17 years old, but my mum still insists on washing my hair. and not just like washing it in the sink or something, i mean fully taking off all my clothes and getting in the shower. i’ve told her multiple times that i’d much prefer to wash it myself, but she won’t have any of it, and insists i can’t wash it properly myself. sometimes she even insists on scrubbing my body with soap after she’s done with my hair - i think this is insane, as i’m almost an adult!! and what’s worse, she doesn’t even know how to take proper care of my hair, so it always comes out looking awful. and she doesn’t let me use heat or anything to style it, so i can’t salvage it. it’s getting really frustrating that she won’t respect my boundaries and i have no idea what to do. she’s also very keen to make me sleep in the same bed as her, though i refuse most of the time and she eventually lets me go - but then she brings it up from time to time and says that it shows i don’t love her enough. i’m honestly so tired. she’s otherwise a good mum though. any advice on how to deal with this??

This can't be real, surely.

Hard to tell, I've heard of some weird parents. However it could just be a troll. I hate it when threads are ambiguous like that.

Trolls on here often make an outrageous thread and then just vanish and never respond to anyone who posts. It’s looking that way at the minute but yeah, the scenario is just so pervy and makes no sense, why wouldn’t the daughter be able to wash her own hair, does she not have hands or something?

i should also add that she doesn’t do it in a pervy way, she’s just very controlling as a mother sometimes because she’s convinced she always knows what’s best for us and we will be sorry later down the line if we don’t listen to her.
the washing hair thing is specifically because she makes me oil my hair beforehand, and so she says that i’m not able to wash it out properly myself. when i haven’t got oil in, she’s fine with me washing it myself. however, she has admitted on several occasions that i’ve washed it out properly, and yet still refuses to let me wash it out myself, despite me showing i’m capable. i’ve asked that if she thinks this is the case, can she at least teach me how to do it/let me learn how to do it properly, so that i can do it myself as when i go to uni she won’t be around to wash my hair for me. her response to this was ‘first learn how to properly do basic things like cooking and cleaning for yourself, then we can worry about that, it’s not a priority’

OP has replied, please see the reply.

i should also add that she doesn’t do it in a pervy way, she’s just very controlling as a mother sometimes because she’s convinced she always knows what’s best for us and we will be sorry later down the line if we don’t listen to her.
the washing hair thing is specifically because she makes me oil my hair beforehand, and so she says that i’m not able to wash it out properly myself. when i haven’t got oil in, she’s fine with me washing it myself. however, she has admitted on several occasions that i’ve washed it out properly, and yet still refuses to let me wash it out myself, despite me showing i’m capable. i’ve asked that if she thinks this is the case, can she at least teach me how to do it/let me learn how to do it properly, so that i can do it myself as when i go to uni she won’t be around to wash my hair for me. her response to this was ‘first learn how to properly do basic things like cooking and cleaning for yourself, then we can worry about that, it’s not a priority’

Oh MY GOSH I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE, my mom is super controlling too, when i was thirteen she would make me strip and get in the shower tow ash my hair too! tho she's never made me get in bed with her tho. like you said, my mom is a great mom but she is way too controlling like urs, for example, she often comes in the bathroom claiming I haven't washed my face properly when i've literally just done it and then she'll get the flannel soaking wet and go all over my face, making my tee wet too. And she hasn;t let my grow out my hair until recently when i begged. I swear some moms just have psychological control issues lol

AHHH thank you it feels so good to know i’m not the only one. people on here think i’m trolling as well, lol i wish i was. i don’t know why anyone would lie about being in this situation, it’s honestly the worst feeling. and like i’ve said before it’s NOT IN A PERVY WAY. she just has issues with needing to be in control.

AHHH thank you it feels so good to know i’m not the only one. people on here think i’m trolling as well, lol i wish i was. i don’t know why anyone would lie about being in this situation, it’s honestly the worst feeling. and like i’ve said before it’s NOT IN A PERVY WAY. she just has issues with needing to be in control.