My mom wants to life my life for me

I’ve realised this recently. Wants be to become a doctor solely because she never got to, wants me to marry a specific guy because he’s rich. I’m only 17. We have a family friend who’s 23 and he’s a doctor from a millionaire family. My mother was saying how I should consider it but firstly, I see them as family as we go on holiday together so much. Secondly, I don’t even speak to him because we are not close in age (I speak to his sisters as they are the same age as me), and I don’t have feelings for him at ALL

When my mom said this, I retaliated back and said how I’d rather marry someone who I like and how I don’t want a ‘mother 2.0’.
My mom had an arranged marriage and she suffered with her in laws for 3 years without my dad. They treated her horribly.
And my mom and dad don’t even get along. They have arguments so often and she has the nerve to tell me who to choose for my future.
It’s not even the right time to be thinking about this!
When I told her that I’d rather marry someone who I like she said to me that I’m ‘going too far’. What does that even mean?
She hates it when I bring up this topic about who I want to marry in the distant future but why tf ?

Reply 1

JA03

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

Sounds messed up but your mum only wants what's best for you. My mum is like this and eventually I snapped about the whole situation and she mentioned that she was just telling me what she thinks is right for my life, marrying rich/smart, getting a 'noticed' job e.g. doctor, pharmacist, etc.

But honestly, parents only do things mostly when they think it's the right thing but in reality, they don't know that they're controlling you beyond boundaries so you need to explain to your mum that you have priorities e.g. choosing your own career, finishing your education (take it as far as you want, even PhD), getting your own life together and then you'll think about all these other things.