The Student Room Group

bf doesn't put much effort in anymore

when we first got together about 7 months ago he was so chatty over text and put in a lot of effort to get to know me. now he's turned into such a bad texter, he's fine at replying like he always replies fairly quick and doesnt leave me on read but his replies are always pretty blunt and he doesnt really make conversation. in person he's better but recently has been spending more time on his phone when we're together like watching tiktoks n stuff and doesnt make as much effort in planning dates anymore. i've brought this up twice and he said that he knows its a problem and that it was a problem in his last relationship (it was why she broke up with him because his communication was bad) and that he knows he needs to change but he doesnt know how to stop. i really like the guy but it sucks have to ask him to put effort in. should i give him a chance or end things? i really dont want to lose him not im not happy atm
You see each other in person, so texting shouldn't be a high priority. I would personally suggest letting go of that one.

It would be fair to set a boundary that phones shouldn't be used too much when you're physically spending time together, and especially not for absently scrolling through social media! Unless you spend long periods of time together (e.g. multiple days), then that's a little different. Anyway, to try and reinforce this suggest he put his phone on silent and away in a bag rather than leaving it in view or in his pocket. You should do the same too so it is fair. That way you can both focus on each other and/or whatever activity you are engaging in.

You should also establish a time frame for how often you should set aside time for date nights. My girlfriend and I are both very busy people, so we aim for once a month. That can include nights in or out.
(edited 1 year ago)

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending