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First ever date with a girl gone wrong, need advice 22f

first ever date with a girl gone wrong, need advice

I don’t know what to do about this situation.
I’m 22f, bisexual

Basically the date was okay, we got dinner, I was on my period too and it happened to start on the day I am going on this date, I didn't want to cancel, since this girl was like I am going to leave work early just for this date
I was not feeling the best, so it was awkward at times, but ofcourse it's first date it's going to be awkward. Anyway the times comes to
рау

I was like it's on me, she was like are you sure, we can split it, l'm like no, I asked you out, I want to pay for it. And my card gets
DECLINED
I try 4 times, I try my debit, my credit card and my phone. No luck. I never had a problem with my cards EVER. I have more than £1,000 on my card so it's shouldn't be declining. Ofcourse I apologised for this, I told her this has never happened to me before.

And she is like it's ok don't worry about it, so she pays for the whole thing, and I am just there feeling shocked, obviously my whole mood is ruined. I ask her to message her details later so I can transfer her and she says it's fine don't worry. So then I messaged her when I’m leaving home to send her details to transfer the money, she said it’s all good. And then I said I insist, and said it’s not fair on her, since it’s was a lot, again she messaged and said to not to worry, it’s all good.


Anyway so I thank her for it and said I enjoyed the date and complimented her.
And complete silence


And then I talked to my bank on Sunday and they said the transaction was indeed approved, the waitress didn't speak English, maybe she didn't realise idk. So it turns out that we both paid for the date. I haven't spoken to her about this at all, since she hasn't responded to my texts, it's been like 4 days.

Do I message her? I feel like I kinda want closure? Maybe she didn’t like me at all. But I really wished she told me that instead of ghosting. Or do I just leave it as it is.

I don’t even know what to say to her, I kinda want to know where I went wrong ( was only the payment thing or other things too?), did I say something that upset her because if so, I will apologise.

She didn’t know this, that it was my first ever date with a girl bc people act weird when I tell them I have only been on 2 dates in my entire life.

What would you do in my situation? I really liked her, thought she had an amazing personality, she seemed to have good vibes.
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 1
It seems unlikely that the only reason she didn’t want to follow up was because of the payment issue. First dates just sometimes don’t work out. It seems that she wasn’t feeling it and unlikely you can turn it around for another chance. I suppose there would be no harm in messaging her with an update on what happened and say you’d be up for a next time. I would hold high hopes though. Otherwise just leave the ball in her court and put it down to experience. I would go and complain to the restaurant and get a refund mind.
Yeah, bring a print-out of your bank statement to the restaurant, to prove the transaction went through on your end 4 times, and get a refund.

Sorry to hear the date didn't go so well, but every person is different, so hopefully the next time you go on a date, you'll bring cash with you as a back-up.

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