The Student Room Group

Toxic ppl getting rid of

Ik it's easy and simple to say 'stop thinking about it' but that is easier said than done.
there are a few toxic ppl i have cut out of my life coz they are just horrible people and are damaging to my mental health and happiness etc.

BUT-- as a crossbreed between a optimist and pessimist, sometimes my pessimistic side comes out and i begin thinking about those ppl and how horrible and mean they were to me etc. THEN i get angry and upset and it ruins like 30% of my overall day.

How do i stop thinking about them and what they did etc?? Ik they cannot undo what they did wrong and i cannot control that, but i can control the effect it has on me and idk what to do??

Any suggestions??

Much appreciated :smile:
Have a great weekend and friday <3
Reply 1
You have learned growing up to develop a pattern of thinking which is your learned way of thinking. This can be very negative and destructive (& angry) We copy our role models. Much of how you think will have been learned from those who had greatest influence over you between 0 years of age and 18 years - your mentors.

So if you change a bad habit, first you have to become aware of it. Then desist from doing it - divert your attention to something you find pleasurable.

Write a list of things that make you feel happy and carry it around with you
Animals, flowers, sky states, mountains, people, foods, comedies, TV programs, fish, rivers, boats, holidays, cars, gardening, sports, etc etc so you can visualise these things very vividly and brightly.

So as soon as anger strikes, let it go. Realise the only person you are hurting is yourself. The person(s) who makes you feel angry won't be losing any sleep over you. In fact quite the opposite, You are giving that person 'who makes you angry' enormous amounts of power if you think for one moment they can control your mind? So get a mindset that you are not going to allow these people ground rent in your head, or even the slightest amount of Oxygen. If you do, they have won and you have lost.

Make it a game to see how long you can avoid thinking of anyone who is on your 'hit list' Break your own records for longevity. But like everything else, the moment you don't want to do something you end up doing it. You have to DO SOMETHING POSITIVE - I am going to ..... (think pleasant thoughts?) as a mindset and then distract yourself with something (pleasant) in a different surrounding. You brain has to switch its excitatory input

Good luck with that one.

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