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i feel stupid all the time

mermaid019754

im average intelligence if not a bit below but my cousins and my younger sister are all fiercely intelligent. They all got 8's and 9's at GCSEs and A* and As at A levels while I got 6s and 7s at GCSE and As and Bs at A levels. I struggled all throughout high school with my peers because I was bullied for having anxiety so I consequently struggled academically. ill never know if I could've been smarter at school had I not been bullied so badly. I am also coming to terms with the fact that I probably have Aspergers. My grandma always makes comparisons between me and my two cousins. on GCSE results day she said, the difference between you and your cousin is that she doesn't have to revise but you do. and when I read out the results she said, I'm shocked, you've definitely surprised me. my two cousins are quite patronising towards me even though I am now 20 years old. my Grandma also said to me, at least you wont struggle with getting a job because you're pretty and people will like to have you in the office because you're nice to look at. At first I thought I was perhaps just a little above average but now I think I'm probably below average and don't even understand how I got into my law degree. in my first year of university I was dubbed as 'immature' and as 'giving off blonde energy' by my friends even though I got a 2:1 so far. i really don't understand why I give off this impression but I'm now convinced that I must be just dumb. that I must be an airhead and no one will take me seriously. i have no self-confidence left whatsoever, I'm struggling to convince myself to continue with my degree because I seriously don't think I'm good enough at all. I want to be a solicitor but I don't even think ill pass the qualifying exams. my parents don't compare me and tell me to just ignore the comments but I cant, if theyre coming from multiple people then surely it means im dumb? the thing is, I only remember things that interest me. i just wish I was more like my sister and my cousin because at least they all have beauty AND brains and aren't seen as a pretty airhead like me. i feel so useless.

Reply 1

set1xoxo

hey girly, don't feel dumb at all bc with gcses and big exams like alevels it requires a sense of consistency throughout the whole year leading up to the actual exams. for all you know ur sister and cousins had banged out revision under a decent timetable whereas you even mentioned that u were bullied so ofc thats gonna mess w ur mindset. the thing is tho dont let getting bullied or anxiety or whatever play w ur brain bc at the end of the day anyone especially unis are not take that as a valid justification for ur underachievement and friends will just view it as an excuse for failiure so it is better off to just firm it and move on. im sure ur really pretty so take that as a plus bc not everyone has looks and iq like u do genuinely ur one in a million. the thing w anxiety is that obvs its not a good feeling to endure but at the same time just dont view it as "anxiety", look at it as a one time feeling and try to move on bc its rlly gonna hold u back i promise u have the capacity to do so ur just getting used to the "dumb" and lazy mindset, try changing ur habits its small things that are limiting u from striving- dont let anyone judge ur degree of intelligence only u know deep down how smart u are the next time u try to prepare for an exam dont aim to prove anyone wrong, just focus on proving urself right u are 100% smart u just have to be more serious w urself. me personally im in year12 and lowkey started feeling the same way at one point cos imagine i was aiming for all 9s and ended up getting mostly 7/8s and flipping 6s even cos i was being and thinking like such an idiot during the gcse times and now i regret it sm but cant do anything about it but improve myself. icl i still do procastinate and not take things seriously but i have definitely improved from last year even if its just a 0.1% rise. u can totally have a comeback its never too late just focus on urself and u will make it bae
xx

Reply 2

surreal12

The company you keep is up to you, if you surround yourself with people who pull you down and don't see you for who you really are, your potential, your achievements and accomplishments, then I would ask, why?

Comparing yourself to others isn't always helpful as it distracts us from understanding and appreciating what you have achieved in life, your talents, skills, knowledge and experiences, it's what makes you unique, that is what will take you places and help you to stand out from the crowd, your uniqueness.

Reply 3

Tiliana

From what you said how your family treat you, I'm not surprised your self-esteem has suffered... Please stop listening to them, and especially to your grandma! Quote: "Grandma also said to me, at least you wont struggle with getting a job because you're pretty and people will like to have you in the office because you're nice to look at." ; that is just a completely ridiculous thing to say... I'm not referring to you being pretty, but to anyone equating your worth as a person with that! NB. Your grades are perfectly fine, the system is not designed for everyone to get all 9s or all As...