The Student Room Group

Parents criticising you for not having a job after university

Hi all,

I'm mainly interested to see if anyone else did/is having this issue regarding parents and university, or rather parents and what happens after university.

I had a very miserable time at university (despite doing well on the degree course). This was mainly because my parents forced me to attend and were not accepting of me pursing other options. I did try to drop out on several occasions but they refused to let me do so (mainly because I was living with them). They refused to let me drop out despite university nearly killing me on several occasions. I graduated last summer btw.

One of the reasons why I wanted to drop out is because I saw (and still think) HE is a waste of time because of the lack of employment prospects if you are not doing a degree that guarantees you a job. The irony is that I have just graduated and, what a surprise, I do not have a job just like I have been saying to my parents for the last three years. They are berating me for not securing any sort of employment despite me saying that I am unlikely to do so after my degree.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this problem before. Thanks.
Reply 1
No, but I am sympathetic to you. It's so mad to me that parents don't engage with their kids on this stuff properly. Sometimes the child will actually know better about things like this. I hope something falls your way soon.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous #1
Hi all,

I'm mainly interested to see if anyone else did/is having this issue regarding parents and university, or rather parents and what happens after university.

I had a very miserable time at university (despite doing well on the degree course). This was mainly because my parents forced me to attend and were not accepting of me pursing other options. I did try to drop out on several occasions but they refused to let me do so (mainly because I was living with them). They refused to let me drop out despite university nearly killing me on several occasions. I graduated last summer btw.

One of the reasons why I wanted to drop out is because I saw (and still think) HE is a waste of time because of the lack of employment prospects if you are not doing a degree that guarantees you a job. The irony is that I have just graduated and, what a surprise, I do not have a job just like I have been saying to my parents for the last three years. They are berating me for not securing any sort of employment despite me saying that I am unlikely to do so after my degree.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this problem before. Thanks.

What degree did you do?
Reply 3
Original post by gjd800
No, but I am sympathetic to you. It's so mad to me that parents don't engage with their kids on this stuff properly. Sometimes the child will actually know better about things like this. I hope something falls your way soon.

Thanks for replying. I hope something falls my way soon
Reply 4
Original post by Muttley79
What degree did you do?

I did a degree in Film Production. All of my friends have moved to London (this is causing me some issues because I don't have many friends because I am still in my hometown close to university) and are mainly doing low pay entry level film.TV jobs. I cannot do this because I can't afford to move to London on such a low salary.
Original post by Anonymous #1
I did a degree in Film Production. All of my friends have moved to London (this is causing me some issues because I don't have many friends because I am still in my hometown close to university) and are mainly doing low pay entry level film.TV jobs. I cannot do this because I can't afford to move to London on such a low salary.

Anon,

Sorry to hear that you have had an up-and-down relationship with your parents over your degree. Despite this, it’s great that you were able to get through the degree and do well!

Still though, it's frustrating to have put in all those hours for your degree, only to find it difficult to get work afterwards. You may feel like ‘What was the point?’ If you can see others beginning to find their way, then the temptation to compare can be difficult to avoid and it can be very easy to feel like you’re just stuck but remember that things can and do change!

Have you thought about other ways you can use your film/video skills? For example, approaching charities to see if they are looking to improve their video content or looking to commission a piece? Have you thought about training videos or video content in terms of education? Or trying to build your creative network and perhaps finding some artists who are interested in using film, but who perhaps don’t have the tech skills?

Even though the work may be low pay for now, it’s still experience and hopefully you can begin to build a bit of a portfolio. You may have to do some filming for free, but if it’s helping you showcase a range of skills it may be useful in the long run.

It may be that there are opportunities available to you closer than you think but remember that even if you do live far away it doesn’t mean that you can pitch for jobs elsewhere!

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
How many jobs have you applied to this week? How many since graduating? Are you signed up with any recruitment agencies or temping agencies? Getting involved in any networks?

It takes a lot of applications to get a full time job - especially if you don't have any work experience (which it sounds like is the case for you - did you do any work at all while studying? retail? hospitality? customer service? any volunteering?) and you're not willing to move to where there's work.
Original post by Anonymous
They are berating me for not securing any sort of employment despite me saying that I am unlikely to do so after my degree.


I can't help but wonder if this attitude is coming across in your job applications and interviews. Self sabotage is absolutely possible when you're looking for work.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous #1
I did a degree in Film Production. All of my friends have moved to London (this is causing me some issues because I don't have many friends because I am still in my hometown close to university) and are mainly doing low pay entry level film.TV jobs. I cannot do this because I can't afford to move to London on such a low salary.

It's not unusual to take six months to find a job and my friend's son has just got his first job 15 months after graduating. Try to get some experience - some good suggestions above re approaching charities.

I'm a parent and I find it sad yours take this attitude ...
Original post by PQ
I can't help but wonder if this attitude is coming across in your job applications and interviews. Self sabotage is absolutely possible when you're looking for work.

I can't make myself anon lol but anyway severe mental illness caused through my studies is not helping.
Original post by Muttley79
It's not unusual to take six months to find a job and my friend's son has just got his first job 15 months after graduating. Try to get some experience - some good suggestions above re approaching charities.

I'm a parent and I find it sad yours take this attitude ...

I should have dropped out when I had the chance. They will make me homeless if this goes on for 15 months.
Original post by Anonymous #2
How many jobs have you applied to this week? How many since graduating? Are you signed up with any recruitment agencies or temping agencies? Getting involved in any networks?

It takes a lot of applications to get a full time job - especially if you don't have any work experience (which it sounds like is the case for you - did you do any work at all while studying? retail? hospitality? customer service? any volunteering?) and you're not willing to move to where there's work.

I applied to 5 this week. Maybe 30 since graduation?

I do have work experience. I worked at my university when I was studying.
Original post by Thisismyunitsr
I applied to 5 this week. Maybe 30 since graduation?

I do have work experience. I worked at my university when I was studying.


30 in 4 months isn't very many applications - are you only applying to graduate jobs or are you applying to retail/hospitality jobs too? It's a good time of year to get more experience in those areas if you've only done student ambassador type work and not anything out in the "real" world.
Original post by PQ
30 in 4 months isn't very many applications - are you only applying to graduate jobs or are you applying to retail/hospitality jobs too? It's a good time of year to get more experience in those areas if you've only done student ambassador type work and not anything out in the "real" world.

A mixture at the moment. I don't really apply because I find it depressing and it makes me sad so I don't bother putting a lot of effort in lol.
Original post by Thisismyunitsr
A mixture at the moment. I don't really apply because I find it depressing and it makes me sad so I don't bother putting a lot of effort in lol.


Nothing will change if you don’t change it yourself. The perfect job (or even an imperfect one that lets you earn the money to move out) isn’t going to land at your feet if you aren’t actively searching and applying for work.

are you claiming unemployment benefits? Seeking help for your depression?
Original post by PQ
Nothing will change if you don’t change it yourself. The perfect job (or even an imperfect one that lets you earn the money to move out) isn’t going to land at your feet if you aren’t actively searching and applying for work.

are you claiming unemployment benefits? Seeking help for your depression?

I can't claim unemployment benefits. I can't be bothered to seek help as it has not worked in the past and will not work in future.
Original post by Thisismyunitsr
I can't claim unemployment benefits. I can't be bothered to seek help as it has not worked in the past and will not work in future.


If you're unemployed then you can claim unemployment benefits

Do you think maybe your depression might be affecting your decision making? Just because something hasn't worked in the past doesn't mean that will be the result next time, there's always new therapy and drugs to try but if you aren't willing to try then nothing will change.

You say you're unhappy but don't seem willing to take any steps or make and changes to improve your situation.
Original post by PQ
If you're unemployed then you can claim unemployment benefits

Do you think maybe your depression might be affecting your decision making? Just because something hasn't worked in the past doesn't mean that will be the result next time, there's always new therapy and drugs to try but if you aren't willing to try then nothing will change.

You say you're unhappy but don't seem willing to take any steps or make and changes to improve your situation.

This is wrong. Not everyone can claim unemployment benefits.

It probably is but I really do not care.
Original post by Thisismyunitsr
This is wrong. Not everyone can claim unemployment benefits.

It probably is but I really do not care.

If you're unemployed, "don't bother putting a lot of effort" in to applications and not looking to remedy your health then to be blunt, your parents criticism is valid.

When I graduated I struggled to find work in a sector related to my degree. I couldn't drive and moving wasn't financially feasible. I was unemployed for 6-8 months. I am sure my folks weren't dancing around about my situation but I went onto jobseekers after a while and signed up with temp agencies.

A temp job doing data entry turned into a decade-long career in finance. It wasn't easy but I had to start somewhere.

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