I've lost islam and I've lost my soul
I'm an adult male who has questioned the logic of God and Islam from a young age.
I'd hate to slander the religion, so I won't, in an effort not to upset other Muslim users. I don't want to spread my pain to other Muslims. I just want help.
Before we begin, I'll give you some context.
I am an academic and I'd like to adopt the scientific problem solving skills I have learned from my studies. But that alone doesn't make you happy.
This isn't islamophobia. I would believe in it if I could. But I can't. I've tried so many times.
Before I had my mental breakdown, becoming hospitalised, my parents saw me as the "perfect" child.
I never went out with my friends, I didn't have a phone and I was studying daily. But there was a catch, pay attention students as this is a perfect example of burnout.
I became depressed as when I lost my religion, I realised that whatever I did, whether I became the CEO of Microsoft to becoming a homeless person, sitting outside a shop, it didn't matter. I was going to leave this earth anyway.
Then I started to realise I had no childhood. I was a lonely boy.
I also felt like I was living a double life. A lie. My parents, my mum especially, would ask me to pray with her. I couldn't tell anyone. But I did, feeling like a liar.
I had an unhealthy way of releasing the pain, which I won't mention because it goes against TSR's T&Cs.
I moved to a sixth form and things started to spiral downwards.
I got sectioned.
There were numerous incidents I've had where I, well, wouldn't have been here anymore.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and EUPD.
Today I am doing my A levels and I plan to study medicine.
But I just feel cold when it comes to myself. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm just another figure. One day my heart will stop beating and that's it. I will cease to exist.
That goes for my loved ones. My mum. My dad. My siblings.
I have a profound anxiety about my family though. So I'll ring them constantly. Everyday. Even when they're working just so I know that they're OK.
My question is, how would an atheist coming from a devout Muslim family deal with this lack of identity and belonging, live a happy life?
If I tell my family they will disown me.
In reflection from my support staff and therapists, I seek this acceptance from doing things for people. Spending crazy amounts of money on people who live with me. Sometimes I won't leave the room because I thing people will talk about me. Sometimes I'll hear words that sound like other words and think people are talking about me.
I want to help people, partly because I want them to like me and so I feel accepted.
Sorry for the essay I've written,
Please help.
I'd hate to slander the religion, so I won't, in an effort not to upset other Muslim users. I don't want to spread my pain to other Muslims. I just want help.
Before we begin, I'll give you some context.
I am an academic and I'd like to adopt the scientific problem solving skills I have learned from my studies. But that alone doesn't make you happy.
This isn't islamophobia. I would believe in it if I could. But I can't. I've tried so many times.
Before I had my mental breakdown, becoming hospitalised, my parents saw me as the "perfect" child.
I never went out with my friends, I didn't have a phone and I was studying daily. But there was a catch, pay attention students as this is a perfect example of burnout.
I became depressed as when I lost my religion, I realised that whatever I did, whether I became the CEO of Microsoft to becoming a homeless person, sitting outside a shop, it didn't matter. I was going to leave this earth anyway.
Then I started to realise I had no childhood. I was a lonely boy.
I also felt like I was living a double life. A lie. My parents, my mum especially, would ask me to pray with her. I couldn't tell anyone. But I did, feeling like a liar.
I had an unhealthy way of releasing the pain, which I won't mention because it goes against TSR's T&Cs.
I moved to a sixth form and things started to spiral downwards.
I got sectioned.
There were numerous incidents I've had where I, well, wouldn't have been here anymore.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and EUPD.
Today I am doing my A levels and I plan to study medicine.
But I just feel cold when it comes to myself. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm just another figure. One day my heart will stop beating and that's it. I will cease to exist.
That goes for my loved ones. My mum. My dad. My siblings.
I have a profound anxiety about my family though. So I'll ring them constantly. Everyday. Even when they're working just so I know that they're OK.
My question is, how would an atheist coming from a devout Muslim family deal with this lack of identity and belonging, live a happy life?
If I tell my family they will disown me.
In reflection from my support staff and therapists, I seek this acceptance from doing things for people. Spending crazy amounts of money on people who live with me. Sometimes I won't leave the room because I thing people will talk about me. Sometimes I'll hear words that sound like other words and think people are talking about me.
I want to help people, partly because I want them to like me and so I feel accepted.
Sorry for the essay I've written,
Please help.
Scroll to see replies
I don't know much about the Islamic doctrine, but coming from a Catholic perspective (and I believe Allah is the same God as the Judo-Christian God) we are taught to be a good person, and to love one another. That's ultimately what God would want from us, is it not?
I believe that anybody, whether they are religious, agnostic, or atheist, can live by that standard.
Just be a good person, be kind to other people, and try to make this world a little bit better.
You can believe in a higher power, or you can choose not to, after all we were given free will, but as long as you're striving to be a good kind person you're on the right path anyway.
Your identity isn't dependent on your religion. Your identity should be based on kindness and love.
I believe that anybody, whether they are religious, agnostic, or atheist, can live by that standard.
Just be a good person, be kind to other people, and try to make this world a little bit better.
You can believe in a higher power, or you can choose not to, after all we were given free will, but as long as you're striving to be a good kind person you're on the right path anyway.
Your identity isn't dependent on your religion. Your identity should be based on kindness and love.
(edited 1 year ago)
As a Muslim who sometimes questions her deen I hear you, but even though sometimes it feels like "is this the right thing" at the end of the day it's what YOU feel is the right thing for YOU.
Whenever I question my Deen, my Iman and myself I delve further into it.
On YouTube there are a multitude of lectures where sheikh's speak about depths within the deen and lectures where they answer questions you have (one Islam productions, islamic guidance, mufti menks are basic examples etc).
There is one man in particular I recently came across called Dr Stef Keris (I've also seen him appear on Deen academy from time to time) he seems to delve into the history of Islam, he gives you a broader understanding of it's depths and how Islam interconnects.
For me these people have been helpful, I am not saying you must somehow completely shift your views I respect them, but what I am saying is, as a Muslim who has doubted her deen many many times it's always my Deen that has saved me. It has always been my Deen that has made me feel a little less empty, the belief in it the WANT to believe in it to understand it.
If you don't believe in it anymore that is okay but maybe try and understand it better and then you'll come to see there's lots you've overlooked. Read some Quranic translations perhaps if you want to feel closer, or just simply listen to recitations to calm your soul I promise you I PROMISE YOU listening to recitations for even a minute will help even if only for a little.
I hope for the very best for you in your life and I hope Allah protects you from losing yourself completely, the fact that you've reached out for help suggests you know you need support and help from somewhere - it's those that don't reach out who are completely lost!
If necessary and if you're comfortable maybe try seeking out a sheikh in your local mosque to speak to, there is no shame! And if you'd prefer maybe try seeking out a therapist if you'd prefer a more westernised solution either way there is no shame!
Take care brother in Islam.
Whenever I question my Deen, my Iman and myself I delve further into it.
On YouTube there are a multitude of lectures where sheikh's speak about depths within the deen and lectures where they answer questions you have (one Islam productions, islamic guidance, mufti menks are basic examples etc).
There is one man in particular I recently came across called Dr Stef Keris (I've also seen him appear on Deen academy from time to time) he seems to delve into the history of Islam, he gives you a broader understanding of it's depths and how Islam interconnects.
For me these people have been helpful, I am not saying you must somehow completely shift your views I respect them, but what I am saying is, as a Muslim who has doubted her deen many many times it's always my Deen that has saved me. It has always been my Deen that has made me feel a little less empty, the belief in it the WANT to believe in it to understand it.
If you don't believe in it anymore that is okay but maybe try and understand it better and then you'll come to see there's lots you've overlooked. Read some Quranic translations perhaps if you want to feel closer, or just simply listen to recitations to calm your soul I promise you I PROMISE YOU listening to recitations for even a minute will help even if only for a little.
I hope for the very best for you in your life and I hope Allah protects you from losing yourself completely, the fact that you've reached out for help suggests you know you need support and help from somewhere - it's those that don't reach out who are completely lost!
If necessary and if you're comfortable maybe try seeking out a sheikh in your local mosque to speak to, there is no shame! And if you'd prefer maybe try seeking out a therapist if you'd prefer a more westernised solution either way there is no shame!
Take care brother in Islam.
Sometimes people have doubts about their religion, im a muslim myself and i have experienced these thoughts.
I highly recommend you read into islam and the values it teaches as it really is beautiful, but if your heart is set what am i to say.
Just be open with your parents as this will alleviate the stress you have of hiding your feelings.
Inshallah you will find a solution to your difficulties my friend
I highly recommend you read into islam and the values it teaches as it really is beautiful, but if your heart is set what am i to say.
Just be open with your parents as this will alleviate the stress you have of hiding your feelings.
Inshallah you will find a solution to your difficulties my friend
(edited 1 year ago)
even if there is no god and we're alone in the universe, does it really mean life is meaningless? just because there is no prescribed plan for your life doesn't mean it doesn't matter; it just means that it's up to you to find *your* meaning. when you're dead, you're dead, so you might as well use the time you have to do the things that fulfill *you*. it's freeing, imo.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm an adult male who has questioned the logic of God and Islam from a young age.
I'd hate to slander the religion, so I won't, in an effort not to upset other Muslim users. I don't want to spread my pain to other Muslims. I just want help.
Before we begin, I'll give you some context.
I am an academic and I'd like to adopt the scientific problem solving skills I have learned from my studies. But that alone doesn't make you happy.
This isn't islamophobia. I would believe in it if I could. But I can't. I've tried so many times.
Before I had my mental breakdown, becoming hospitalised, my parents saw me as the "perfect" child.
I never went out with my friends, I didn't have a phone and I was studying daily. But there was a catch, pay attention students as this is a perfect example of burnout.
I became depressed as when I lost my religion, I realised that whatever I did, whether I became the CEO of Microsoft to becoming a homeless person, sitting outside a shop, it didn't matter. I was going to leave this earth anyway.
Then I started to realise I had no childhood. I was a lonely boy.
I also felt like I was living a double life. A lie. My parents, my mum especially, would ask me to pray with her. I couldn't tell anyone. But I did, feeling like a liar.
I had an unhealthy way of releasing the pain, which I won't mention because it goes against TSR's T&Cs.
I moved to a sixth form and things started to spiral downwards.
I got sectioned.
There were numerous incidents I've had where I, well, wouldn't have been here anymore.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and EUPD.
Today I am doing my A levels and I plan to study medicine.
But I just feel cold when it comes to myself. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm just another figure. One day my heart will stop beating and that's it. I will cease to exist.
That goes for my loved ones. My mum. My dad. My siblings.
I have a profound anxiety about my family though. So I'll ring them constantly. Everyday. Even when they're working just so I know that they're OK.
My question is, how would an atheist coming from a devout Muslim family deal with this lack of identity and belonging, live a happy life?
If I tell my family they will disown me.
In reflection from my support staff and therapists, I seek this acceptance from doing things for people. Spending crazy amounts of money on people who live with me. Sometimes I won't leave the room because I thing people will talk about me. Sometimes I'll hear words that sound like other words and think people are talking about me.
I want to help people, partly because I want them to like me and so I feel accepted.
Sorry for the essay I've written,
Please help.
I'd hate to slander the religion, so I won't, in an effort not to upset other Muslim users. I don't want to spread my pain to other Muslims. I just want help.
Before we begin, I'll give you some context.
I am an academic and I'd like to adopt the scientific problem solving skills I have learned from my studies. But that alone doesn't make you happy.
This isn't islamophobia. I would believe in it if I could. But I can't. I've tried so many times.
Before I had my mental breakdown, becoming hospitalised, my parents saw me as the "perfect" child.
I never went out with my friends, I didn't have a phone and I was studying daily. But there was a catch, pay attention students as this is a perfect example of burnout.
I became depressed as when I lost my religion, I realised that whatever I did, whether I became the CEO of Microsoft to becoming a homeless person, sitting outside a shop, it didn't matter. I was going to leave this earth anyway.
Then I started to realise I had no childhood. I was a lonely boy.
I also felt like I was living a double life. A lie. My parents, my mum especially, would ask me to pray with her. I couldn't tell anyone. But I did, feeling like a liar.
I had an unhealthy way of releasing the pain, which I won't mention because it goes against TSR's T&Cs.
I moved to a sixth form and things started to spiral downwards.
I got sectioned.
There were numerous incidents I've had where I, well, wouldn't have been here anymore.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and EUPD.
Today I am doing my A levels and I plan to study medicine.
But I just feel cold when it comes to myself. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm just another figure. One day my heart will stop beating and that's it. I will cease to exist.
That goes for my loved ones. My mum. My dad. My siblings.
I have a profound anxiety about my family though. So I'll ring them constantly. Everyday. Even when they're working just so I know that they're OK.
My question is, how would an atheist coming from a devout Muslim family deal with this lack of identity and belonging, live a happy life?
If I tell my family they will disown me.
In reflection from my support staff and therapists, I seek this acceptance from doing things for people. Spending crazy amounts of money on people who live with me. Sometimes I won't leave the room because I thing people will talk about me. Sometimes I'll hear words that sound like other words and think people are talking about me.
I want to help people, partly because I want them to like me and so I feel accepted.
Sorry for the essay I've written,
Please help.
As Salamu Alaykum Brother. this lack of identity and belonging is actually a blessing, even though you may not see it as that. If you were to be completely happy and content on this earth, away from Islam, then, from an Islamic perspective, the eternity after death will be spent in regret and in punishment. You are having these doubts and feelings as Allah does not want you to live a life away from Islam, and then have that eternal regret after death.
In fact Allah SWT says in Surah Taha "And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed [i.e., difficult] life, and We will gather [i.e., raise] him on the Day of Resurrection blind." [20:124] "He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?" [20:125] "[Allāh] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot [i.e., disregarded] them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten."" [20:126] (throughout this Blind refers to being away from the remembrance of Allah)
Questions and doubts about the Deen are actually a sign of a strong Iman, as the Shaytaan is constantly at war with Man, and doesn't like it when you are close to Allah. and thus wants you to deviate from the truth. I encourage you brother to speak out the questions and doubts that you have to me in a private DM.
Feel free to DM me brother.
Original post by Enjoining Good
As Salamu Alaykum Brother. this lack of identity and belonging is actually a blessing, even though you may not see it as that. If you were to be completely happy and content on this earth, away from Islam, then, from an Islamic perspective, the eternity after death will be spent in regret and in punishment. You are having these doubts and feelings as Allah does not want you to live a life away from Islam, and then have that eternal regret after death.
In fact Allah SWT says in Surah Taha "And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed [i.e., difficult] life, and We will gather [i.e., raise] him on the Day of Resurrection blind." [20:124] "He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?" [20:125] "[Allāh] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot [i.e., disregarded] them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten."" [20:126] (throughout this Blind refers to being away from the remembrance of Allah)
Questions and doubts about the Deen are actually a sign of a strong Iman, as the Shaytaan is constantly at war with Man, and doesn't like it when you are close to Allah. and thus wants you to deviate from the truth. I encourage you brother to speak out the questions and doubts that you have to me in a private DM.
In fact Allah SWT says in Surah Taha "And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed [i.e., difficult] life, and We will gather [i.e., raise] him on the Day of Resurrection blind." [20:124] "He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?" [20:125] "[Allāh] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot [i.e., disregarded] them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten."" [20:126] (throughout this Blind refers to being away from the remembrance of Allah)
Questions and doubts about the Deen are actually a sign of a strong Iman, as the Shaytaan is constantly at war with Man, and doesn't like it when you are close to Allah. and thus wants you to deviate from the truth. I encourage you brother to speak out the questions and doubts that you have to me in a private DM.
Original post by hasnat614
Feel free to DM me brother.
Original post by Hiim
Sometimes people have doubts about their religion, im a muslim myself and i have experienced these thoughts.
I highly recommend you read into islam and the values it teaches as it really is beautiful, but if your heart is set what am i to say.
Just be open with your parents as this will alleviate the stress you have of hiding your feelings.
Inshallah you will find a solution to your difficulties my friend
I highly recommend you read into islam and the values it teaches as it really is beautiful, but if your heart is set what am i to say.
Just be open with your parents as this will alleviate the stress you have of hiding your feelings.
Inshallah you will find a solution to your difficulties my friend
Original post by Anonymous
As a Muslim who sometimes questions her deen I hear you, but even though sometimes it feels like "is this the right thing" at the end of the day it's what YOU feel is the right thing for YOU.
Whenever I question my Deen, my Iman and myself I delve further into it.
On YouTube there are a multitude of lectures where sheikh's speak about depths within the deen and lectures where they answer questions you have (one Islam productions, islamic guidance, mufti menks are basic examples etc).
There is one man in particular I recently came across called Dr Stef Keris (I've also seen him appear on Deen academy from time to time) he seems to delve into the history of Islam, he gives you a broader understanding of it's depths and how Islam interconnects.
For me these people have been helpful, I am not saying you must somehow completely shift your views I respect them, but what I am saying is, as a Muslim who has doubted her deen many many times it's always my Deen that has saved me. It has always been my Deen that has made me feel a little less empty, the belief in it the WANT to believe in it to understand it.
If you don't believe in it anymore that is okay but maybe try and understand it better and then you'll come to see there's lots you've overlooked. Read some Quranic translations perhaps if you want to feel closer, or just simply listen to recitations to calm your soul I promise you I PROMISE YOU listening to recitations for even a minute will help even if only for a little.
I hope for the very best for you in your life and I hope Allah protects you from losing yourself completely, the fact that you've reached out for help suggests you know you need support and help from somewhere - it's those that don't reach out who are completely lost!
If necessary and if you're comfortable maybe try seeking out a sheikh in your local mosque to speak to, there is no shame! And if you'd prefer maybe try seeking out a therapist if you'd prefer a more westernised solution either way there is no shame!
Take care brother in Islam.
Whenever I question my Deen, my Iman and myself I delve further into it.
On YouTube there are a multitude of lectures where sheikh's speak about depths within the deen and lectures where they answer questions you have (one Islam productions, islamic guidance, mufti menks are basic examples etc).
There is one man in particular I recently came across called Dr Stef Keris (I've also seen him appear on Deen academy from time to time) he seems to delve into the history of Islam, he gives you a broader understanding of it's depths and how Islam interconnects.
For me these people have been helpful, I am not saying you must somehow completely shift your views I respect them, but what I am saying is, as a Muslim who has doubted her deen many many times it's always my Deen that has saved me. It has always been my Deen that has made me feel a little less empty, the belief in it the WANT to believe in it to understand it.
If you don't believe in it anymore that is okay but maybe try and understand it better and then you'll come to see there's lots you've overlooked. Read some Quranic translations perhaps if you want to feel closer, or just simply listen to recitations to calm your soul I promise you I PROMISE YOU listening to recitations for even a minute will help even if only for a little.
I hope for the very best for you in your life and I hope Allah protects you from losing yourself completely, the fact that you've reached out for help suggests you know you need support and help from somewhere - it's those that don't reach out who are completely lost!
If necessary and if you're comfortable maybe try seeking out a sheikh in your local mosque to speak to, there is no shame! And if you'd prefer maybe try seeking out a therapist if you'd prefer a more westernised solution either way there is no shame!
Take care brother in Islam.
Thanks for all your replies. Please respect others beliefs and thanks @PinkMobilePhone for your perspective on this matter.
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
Original post by Mad Man
Thanks for all your replies. Please respect others beliefs and thanks @PinkMobilePhone for your perspective on this matter.
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
That’s outrageous for an imam to respond in such a way but I guarantee that is not how most are.
I think yes you should reach out to your sister, ask her how to reconnect with your deen and be open about how you’ve been feeling (if that’s what your relationship is like it should be fine).
And if you don’t feel a sense of conclusion or maybe just need more advice that she perhaps wasn’t able to give them maybe just try and reach out to a different imam, there are many mosques and many imams you aren’t limited to a single one who disregarded how you felt!
I hope all goes well.
Original post by Mad Man
Thanks for all your replies. Please respect others beliefs and thanks @PinkMobilePhone for your perspective on this matter.
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
I think it's a great idea to speak to your sister, and I am very sorry to hear about your local imam. I think the older generation of imams do not understand the problems and issues the youth are facing, and as a result can be quite dismissive and not understanding. As @FloryK has said definitely try reaching out to other imams, in my area we have quite a young imam who is very aware of the problems that the youth are experiencing and wants to tackle them. If you are unable to do that feel free to reach out to me. Also I would definitely recommend watching lectures from Nouman Ali Khan on YouTube. He makes it easy to understand lessons we can gain from the Qur'an.
Hi there,
I first want to say I'm so sorry for everything that you have gone through, and I know a simply apology cannot begin to cover the hurt and the pain you must have felt and still feel today. I think we are of similar age because I'm in sixth form and doing my A-Levels too, so maybe that will be of some value to you. Life is stressful and full of lots of sorrow and from and atheist viewpoint has no purpose or meaning. I'm a Christian, and have been for about 2 years now, and for me what gives me purpose is God, father of Jesus Christ. God has given us all gifts and talents, that make us so wonderfully special and unique (like how you like to help others and be generous)(Psalm 139:14-15, 1 Corinthians 12:27-28), in Christainity the purpose of these gifts is to give glory to God and lead people back to relationship with Jesus. But it is very important to not let our gifts and talents define who we are and give us a sense of self-worth. Because like all human things, our talents can fail us as we aren't perfect beings. For me what makes God so great is that he loves us in spite of our flaws (John 3:16). Growing up as a Muslim, you must have heard of Jesus but solely as just a prophet and nothing special. In the Bible, Jesus (God's son) died and resurrected for our imperfect so our relationship is restored with God, no amount of good works can please or even come close to the holiness of God, and that is why God did this so we can experience his love (because God is just, as you already know, and he has to punish us for all the wrongs we have done)(Read Ephesians 1). So to be honest, as an athetist you can never really have a purposeful life, because the athetist docturine is that this life has no value as there is no eternity.
So coming back to the purpose of life for the Christian, is to love God and love others. Serve and be obedient to the Lord using the gifts he gave you. We love others because God showed the greatest sign of love to us first.
So if you ever feel like you would want to look into Christianity, I recommend reading the verses and chapters I have bracketed above. Even if the whole Christianity stuff doesn't float your boat, that is fine too. I will send my prayers for you to be alleviated of your anxiety, find answers to what the purpose of life is, A-Levels, Medical School, and have the peace to be able to come to your parents with whatever decision that you make. Keep seeking the counsel of trusted people and know that God loves you oh so much and wants to relieve you of your anxieties (1 Peter 5:7) and give you peace that lasts forever (John 14:27).
Good luck for your A-Levels and Medical application
I first want to say I'm so sorry for everything that you have gone through, and I know a simply apology cannot begin to cover the hurt and the pain you must have felt and still feel today. I think we are of similar age because I'm in sixth form and doing my A-Levels too, so maybe that will be of some value to you. Life is stressful and full of lots of sorrow and from and atheist viewpoint has no purpose or meaning. I'm a Christian, and have been for about 2 years now, and for me what gives me purpose is God, father of Jesus Christ. God has given us all gifts and talents, that make us so wonderfully special and unique (like how you like to help others and be generous)(Psalm 139:14-15, 1 Corinthians 12:27-28), in Christainity the purpose of these gifts is to give glory to God and lead people back to relationship with Jesus. But it is very important to not let our gifts and talents define who we are and give us a sense of self-worth. Because like all human things, our talents can fail us as we aren't perfect beings. For me what makes God so great is that he loves us in spite of our flaws (John 3:16). Growing up as a Muslim, you must have heard of Jesus but solely as just a prophet and nothing special. In the Bible, Jesus (God's son) died and resurrected for our imperfect so our relationship is restored with God, no amount of good works can please or even come close to the holiness of God, and that is why God did this so we can experience his love (because God is just, as you already know, and he has to punish us for all the wrongs we have done)(Read Ephesians 1). So to be honest, as an athetist you can never really have a purposeful life, because the athetist docturine is that this life has no value as there is no eternity.
So coming back to the purpose of life for the Christian, is to love God and love others. Serve and be obedient to the Lord using the gifts he gave you. We love others because God showed the greatest sign of love to us first.
So if you ever feel like you would want to look into Christianity, I recommend reading the verses and chapters I have bracketed above. Even if the whole Christianity stuff doesn't float your boat, that is fine too. I will send my prayers for you to be alleviated of your anxiety, find answers to what the purpose of life is, A-Levels, Medical School, and have the peace to be able to come to your parents with whatever decision that you make. Keep seeking the counsel of trusted people and know that God loves you oh so much and wants to relieve you of your anxieties (1 Peter 5:7) and give you peace that lasts forever (John 14:27).
Good luck for your A-Levels and Medical application
Original post by ODPSCP
There may be ways atheists use to cope, such as optimistic nihilism but that's as good as it gets, atheism ultimately does not offer anything. The things you seek do not matter in atheism, whether you are happy or sad or seek acceptance or belonging, never truly matters in atheism. Atheism is the direct path to nihilism, in this framework helping people and getting their approval is just as meaningful as helping no one and everyone hating you. I questioned things at 17 and that is when I started practising Islam, it gives life meaning and foundation and gives me an amazing outlook on life no matter the circumstances.
The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "How wonderful the affair of the believer is! Indeed, all of his affairs are good for him. This is for no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is grateful to Allah, which is good for him. And if something bad happens to him, he has patience, which is good for him."
The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "How wonderful the affair of the believer is! Indeed, all of his affairs are good for him. This is for no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is grateful to Allah, which is good for him. And if something bad happens to him, he has patience, which is good for him."
This is a mistake often made by religious people. The reality is actually the opposite. Atheists can simply follow their innate empathy, altruism & golden rule without worrying about whether a god approves of their behaviour or not - whereas Islam (and Christianity) is essentially about self-interest, everything is done so the individual can gain a reward or avoid a punishment for themselves, rather than helping others simply because it benefits those others. However, when an atheist does a good deed (which they do all the time), it is only because it helps someone else. There is nothing to be gained for themselves.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Mad Man
Thanks for all your replies. Please respect others beliefs and thanks @PinkMobilePhone for your perspective on this matter.
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
Atheism is not depressing and lonely - being depressed and alone is depressing and lonely. I would suggest that the conflict between what you feel to be true and what you have been told must be true is at the root of the turmoil. Stop listening to people telling you that you are wrong, misguided, etc. Make your own mind up.
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Personal faith and religious opinions are always a personal choice, not an inheritance or obligation.
Focus on all the positives in your life and all the hobbies & people who make you happy.
Life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotions on those that don't deserve any of either.
Nor add much that is positive to your life.
Are you interested in exploring a variety of religious beliefs, customs, religious texts, leadership teachings and worship traditions?
If so, that is fine.
You may find some religious teachings or customs that you agree with and want to quitely incorporate into your life.
Alternatively you may feel that ancient religion does not appeal to you right now or you have had enough of organised religion as a whole.
That is also fine.
Remember that there are many people of all backgrounds & beliefs who seek to abuse religion as a weapon or means of accumulating personal wealth and control.
Be very wary of all vicious or authoritarian religious leaders.
Keep an eye out for those who try to manipulate cash donations/loans/expensive gifts in the name of religion or community based charity.
Steer clear of anyone within a religious community who demands your money, obedience or respect as of automatic right.
Along with all separatist agendas where other members seek to control your friendships, insult you/the modern world for having alternative opinions to them or attempts to isolate you from mainstream uk society.
Good luck!
Personal faith and religious opinions are always a personal choice, not an inheritance or obligation.
Focus on all the positives in your life and all the hobbies & people who make you happy.
Life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotions on those that don't deserve any of either.
Nor add much that is positive to your life.
Are you interested in exploring a variety of religious beliefs, customs, religious texts, leadership teachings and worship traditions?
If so, that is fine.
You may find some religious teachings or customs that you agree with and want to quitely incorporate into your life.
Alternatively you may feel that ancient religion does not appeal to you right now or you have had enough of organised religion as a whole.
That is also fine.
Remember that there are many people of all backgrounds & beliefs who seek to abuse religion as a weapon or means of accumulating personal wealth and control.
Be very wary of all vicious or authoritarian religious leaders.
Keep an eye out for those who try to manipulate cash donations/loans/expensive gifts in the name of religion or community based charity.
Steer clear of anyone within a religious community who demands your money, obedience or respect as of automatic right.
Along with all separatist agendas where other members seek to control your friendships, insult you/the modern world for having alternative opinions to them or attempts to isolate you from mainstream uk society.
Good luck!
It’s good that you lost Islam because it’s not really an acceptable belief system in the 21st century, it’s quite sexist and outdated. I hope you find your soul again though, just know that you don’t need a dusty book from over a thousand years ago to be a good person and have a meaningful life.
Original post by Mad Man
Thanks for all your replies. Please respect others beliefs and thanks @PinkMobilePhone for your perspective on this matter.
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
I don't want to be an atheist because I find it very depressing and lonely.
So from what you all say, questioning Islam is normal. However if I go to my local imam, he gets defensive and says I'm weak and dismisses my opinions. Who should I go to?
I mean my sister is an Aalima and I can ask her stuff, but I never tried to. I'll ask her.
So what's the first step?
yes its normal, in fact allah even wants us to question it shows we are thinking and using our brains - islam has the answers so theres nothing wrong with questioning - its better than blindly believing and being muslim by name - if you question you can find answers and get firm upon where you stand
Original post by Son of the Sea
It’s good that you lost Islam because it’s not really an acceptable belief system in the 21st century, it’s quite sexist and outdated. I hope you find your soul again though, just know that you don’t need a dusty book from over a thousand years ago to be a good person and have a meaningful life.
There are plenty of Muslims in the 21st century who practice the faith but aren't sexist, homophobic, or discriminatory in any way. Who are you to say what someone should and shouldn't believe?
Original post by User_022023
yes its normal, in fact allah even wants us to question it shows we are thinking and using our brains - islam has the answers so theres nothing wrong with questioning - its better than blindly believing and being muslim by name - if you question you can find answers and get firm upon where you stand
That's a bit of a myth. There is nothing in the Quran or hadith that suggests Muslims should question whether god exists or Muhammad was truthful. All of Allah and Muhammad's talk about questioning is from the position that all the answers will confirm Islam. That is just question begging. In fact there is a verse that warns against asking questions that could lead to disbelief.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm an adult male who has questioned the logic of God and Islam from a young age.
I'd hate to slander the religion, so I won't, in an effort not to upset other Muslim users. I don't want to spread my pain to other Muslims. I just want help.
Before we begin, I'll give you some context.
I am an academic and I'd like to adopt the scientific problem solving skills I have learned from my studies. But that alone doesn't make you happy.
This isn't islamophobia. I would believe in it if I could. But I can't. I've tried so many times.
Before I had my mental breakdown, becoming hospitalised, my parents saw me as the "perfect" child.
I never went out with my friends, I didn't have a phone and I was studying daily. But there was a catch, pay attention students as this is a perfect example of burnout.
I became depressed as when I lost my religion, I realised that whatever I did, whether I became the CEO of Microsoft to becoming a homeless person, sitting outside a shop, it didn't matter. I was going to leave this earth anyway.
Then I started to realise I had no childhood. I was a lonely boy.
I also felt like I was living a double life. A lie. My parents, my mum especially, would ask me to pray with her. I couldn't tell anyone. But I did, feeling like a liar.
I had an unhealthy way of releasing the pain, which I won't mention because it goes against TSR's T&Cs.
I moved to a sixth form and things started to spiral downwards.
I got sectioned.
There were numerous incidents I've had where I, well, wouldn't have been here anymore.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and EUPD.
Today I am doing my A levels and I plan to study medicine.
But I just feel cold when it comes to myself. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm just another figure. One day my heart will stop beating and that's it. I will cease to exist.
That goes for my loved ones. My mum. My dad. My siblings.
I have a profound anxiety about my family though. So I'll ring them constantly. Everyday. Even when they're working just so I know that they're OK.
My question is, how would an atheist coming from a devout Muslim family deal with this lack of identity and belonging, live a happy life?
If I tell my family they will disown me.
In reflection from my support staff and therapists, I seek this acceptance from doing things for people. Spending crazy amounts of money on people who live with me. Sometimes I won't leave the room because I thing people will talk about me. Sometimes I'll hear words that sound like other words and think people are talking about me.
I want to help people, partly because I want them to like me and so I feel accepted.
Sorry for the essay I've written,
Please help.
I'd hate to slander the religion, so I won't, in an effort not to upset other Muslim users. I don't want to spread my pain to other Muslims. I just want help.
Before we begin, I'll give you some context.
I am an academic and I'd like to adopt the scientific problem solving skills I have learned from my studies. But that alone doesn't make you happy.
This isn't islamophobia. I would believe in it if I could. But I can't. I've tried so many times.
Before I had my mental breakdown, becoming hospitalised, my parents saw me as the "perfect" child.
I never went out with my friends, I didn't have a phone and I was studying daily. But there was a catch, pay attention students as this is a perfect example of burnout.
I became depressed as when I lost my religion, I realised that whatever I did, whether I became the CEO of Microsoft to becoming a homeless person, sitting outside a shop, it didn't matter. I was going to leave this earth anyway.
Then I started to realise I had no childhood. I was a lonely boy.
I also felt like I was living a double life. A lie. My parents, my mum especially, would ask me to pray with her. I couldn't tell anyone. But I did, feeling like a liar.
I had an unhealthy way of releasing the pain, which I won't mention because it goes against TSR's T&Cs.
I moved to a sixth form and things started to spiral downwards.
I got sectioned.
There were numerous incidents I've had where I, well, wouldn't have been here anymore.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and EUPD.
Today I am doing my A levels and I plan to study medicine.
But I just feel cold when it comes to myself. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm just another figure. One day my heart will stop beating and that's it. I will cease to exist.
That goes for my loved ones. My mum. My dad. My siblings.
I have a profound anxiety about my family though. So I'll ring them constantly. Everyday. Even when they're working just so I know that they're OK.
My question is, how would an atheist coming from a devout Muslim family deal with this lack of identity and belonging, live a happy life?
If I tell my family they will disown me.
In reflection from my support staff and therapists, I seek this acceptance from doing things for people. Spending crazy amounts of money on people who live with me. Sometimes I won't leave the room because I thing people will talk about me. Sometimes I'll hear words that sound like other words and think people are talking about me.
I want to help people, partly because I want them to like me and so I feel accepted.
Sorry for the essay I've written,
Please help.
Hey I don’t think this is about religion at all. I think it’s because of your bipolar disorder. It’s because I have ocd so I know how you feel in terms of being in the dark lonely world and how everything seems worthless. Speak to your psychiatrist to talk about what you’ve been feeling and whether increased or dif meds are better to use. Second of all, is your therapist good? Like are they just there to talk to you just because it’s their job or do you feel like they actually don’t have the knowledge available? I’d ask your psychiatrist to meet with a professional therapist that has 10+ years in bipolar disorder and depression.
When this problem is being repaired is when I believe you’ll know the answer to your own question.
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