The Student Room Group

I don't care about my friend.

This is probably going to end up as a rant. I have a friend (Lillie for privacy reasons). I genuinely believe she is struggling with depression. During summer she either sleeps all day or stays up all night. She hardly eats due to her family not buying fresh food and her being asleep. During school her grades are constantly low because she can't bring herself to do her schoolwork or to study, along with her frequent periods of absence. She often texts me at random times telling me about something that's bothering her (ex. Her younger brother can now see her Instagram account). The problem with it all is that I've gotten extremely tired of her and her issues. Any conversation we have now seems to devolve into her talking about herself and her issues. Where I used to see a text from her and answer immediately, but now I see her texts and consider even opening her message. They usually start with "omg I'm going to cry". I feel guilty that I honestly have considered ending the friendship, but I don't know what I should do. I have tried setting boundaries but she forgot about them very quickly. We share the same friends.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
This is probably going to end up as a rant. I have a friend (Lillie for privacy reasons). I genuinely believe she is struggling with depression. During summer she either sleeps all day or stays up all night. She hardly eats due to her family not buying fresh food and her being asleep. During school her grades are constantly low because she can't bring herself to do her schoolwork or to study, along with her frequent periods of absence. She often texts me at random times telling me about something that's bothering her (ex. Her younger brother can now see her Instagram account). The problem with it all is that I've gotten extremely tired of her and her issues. Any conversation we have now seems to devolve into her talking about herself and her issues. Where I used to see a text from her and answer immediately, but now I see her texts and consider even opening her message. They usually start with "omg I'm going to cry". I feel guilty that I honestly have considered ending the friendship, but I don't know what I should do. I have tried setting boundaries but she forgot about them very quickly. We share the same friends.


I'm sorry to hear that you guys are in this situation and I hope Lillie is able to recover soon. Is there any particular reason for her behaving this way? She needs to first start out with changing her sleeping pattern, cutting off her ex for good and considering going to therapy to help her with whatever she is going through at the moment.

I understand that it is mentally draining to deal with people like this and your feelings are valid too, if you guys share the same friends then you are going to be involved in each other's life either way and it is totally up to you if you don't want to be around her - she is not your responsibility. Besides the therapy thing, it might be worth speaking to your other friends about this and see if there could be a way to encourage Lillie to get her life back on track. These could be things like going out together for meetups, going to study groups, sports clubs or practically anything that can be a shift in her routine, in regards to your boundaries; stick to them and remind Lillie of them, then change the subject to something you are comfortable with.

I'm not sure what her parents are doing about this, but if you feel that it is appropriate then you may have to speak to staff at school about some of your concerns because frankly her behaviour is very odd - I hope she is okay and gets better soon - you've done well in helping her but please don't feel obliged to because it's important that you look after yourself also.
Well the title's a bit misleading isn't it?
Original post by toxicgamage56
Well the title's a bit misleading isn't it?


yeah it is
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
This is probably going to end up as a rant. I have a friend (Lillie for privacy reasons). I genuinely believe she is struggling with depression. During summer she either sleeps all day or stays up all night. She hardly eats due to her family not buying fresh food and her being asleep. During school her grades are constantly low because she can't bring herself to do her schoolwork or to study, along with her frequent periods of absence. She often texts me at random times telling me about something that's bothering her (ex. Her younger brother can now see her Instagram account). The problem with it all is that I've gotten extremely tired of her and her issues. Any conversation we have now seems to devolve into her talking about herself and her issues. Where I used to see a text from her and answer immediately, but now I see her texts and consider even opening her message. They usually start with "omg I'm going to cry". I feel guilty that I honestly have considered ending the friendship, but I don't know what I should do. I have tried setting boundaries but she forgot about them very quickly. We share the same friends.


You should help her to seek professional help.

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