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Am I wrong to think this way?

I would appreciate some advice as I feel very lost in life . I felt like I was fine but now I question it and would really like someone to just confirm whether I truly am right in believing this way or not

So I’m 21 years old and as a person I can say that I’ve always been rather ambitious in life , since I was around 13 I would begin thinking of all these ideas of what to do, of setting up my own business someday , I took part in various things like community work and up until I was around 20 I would continue to try different things . I tried taking part in writing competitions / groups because I have a passion for writing , wrote for a magazine , had experience in a refugee centre , publishing business etc , archive work in museum . true it wasn’t anything specific like I did these things for free but I did try and at the time I thought I was going in the right direction in life but a couple of months ago came a time when I woke up and realised that none of these things are the real me , and they don’t bring me joy and that it must all mean that I must therefore have some different purpose and direction in life . Of course I know that I enjoy to help people , writing etc however I still don’t know what exactly to do with my life at the moment

Now the problem is that my parents are not happy with this attitude and they are very angry with me . They have spoilt me and worked and got all this money for me to go to university ( which I did and I graduate soon doing a humanities degree ( English & classical studies ) and they believed I would get a degree , get a job like everyone else but they see that I don’t seem to be going that way and something in me just wants to not go that way . I feel like I want to truly live this life ; experience things and learn about my purpose rather than go to some job I hate and regret my decision and when I tell them they get angry and say that I talk sh*t and that I’m lazy and do nothing which is not true because I have tried for the past few years to find something but it just didn’t work out but they say that I f*ck everything up and that there’s something wrong with me but I just feel like I haven’t found something for me yet .

I understand the need for me to pay the bills especially since I still live with them but I tried to explain that stress and negativity won’t help , I said I will apply to a job and will do something I hate just to pay the bills but I won’t be happy there anyway but I’ll do it but it’s not easy because I lack experience. They tell me that if I get a 2.1 it will be enough but clearly you need work experience so I keep telling them that I’ll just have to see what happens , try and be positive but they say that I gave up and that I’m lost when I literally said that I can give them my savings and go even work in a factory just to pay the bills if I have to and that things will work out fine , that I’m young and not everyone is a robot and that some people need more time and that I’m one of them but they get angry

Am I truly wrong in my thinking? It’s very stressful to me because I live with them and it’s hard to live in a home that ignores you just for thinking about the world differently to them . I just see that people come from poverty and with a positive attitude they make it in life so I ask why can’t I? I feel like they are over reacting.
Reply 1
"I feel like I want to truly live this life ; experience things and learn about my purpose rather than go to some job..."

And who is going to pay for that? You've said your parents worked to put you through uni; what do you expect them to fund now, and for how long? What's wrong with getting a job, generating savings and doing your own thing later on your own time and your own dime?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous #1
I would appreciate some advice as I feel very lost in life . I felt like I was fine but now I question it and would really like someone to just confirm whether I truly am right in believing this way or not
So I’m 21 years old and as a person I can say that I’ve always been rather ambitious in life , since I was around 13 I would begin thinking of all these ideas of what to do, of setting up my own business someday , I took part in various things like community work and up until I was around 20 I would continue to try different things . I tried taking part in writing competitions / groups because I have a passion for writing , wrote for a magazine , had experience in a refugee centre , publishing business etc , archive work in museum . true it wasn’t anything specific like I did these things for free but I did try and at the time I thought I was going in the right direction in life but a couple of months ago came a time when I woke up and realised that none of these things are the real me , and they don’t bring me joy and that it must all mean that I must therefore have some different purpose and direction in life . Of course I know that I enjoy to help people , writing etc however I still don’t know what exactly to do with my life at the moment
Now the problem is that my parents are not happy with this attitude and they are very angry with me . They have spoilt me and worked and got all this money for me to go to university ( which I did and I graduate soon doing a humanities degree ( English & classical studies ) and they believed I would get a degree , get a job like everyone else but they see that I don’t seem to be going that way and something in me just wants to not go that way . I feel like I want to truly live this life ; experience things and learn about my purpose rather than go to some job I hate and regret my decision and when I tell them they get angry and say that I talk sh*t and that I’m lazy and do nothing which is not true because I have tried for the past few years to find something but it just didn’t work out but they say that I f*ck everything up and that there’s something wrong with me but I just feel like I haven’t found something for me yet .
I understand the need for me to pay the bills especially since I still live with them but I tried to explain that stress and negativity won’t help , I said I will apply to a job and will do something I hate just to pay the bills but I won’t be happy there anyway but I’ll do it but it’s not easy because I lack experience. They tell me that if I get a 2.1 it will be enough but clearly you need work experience so I keep telling them that I’ll just have to see what happens , try and be positive but they say that I gave up and that I’m lost when I literally said that I can give them my savings and go even work in a factory just to pay the bills if I have to and that things will work out fine , that I’m young and not everyone is a robot and that some people need more time and that I’m one of them but they get angry
Am I truly wrong in my thinking? It’s very stressful to me because I live with them and it’s hard to live in a home that ignores you just for thinking about the world differently to them . I just see that people come from poverty and with a positive attitude they make it in life so I ask why can’t I? I feel like they are over reacting.

There's nothing wrong in wanting to follow a less traditional path in life. Wanting work that focuses on helping people and making a difference to the lives of others rather just chasing money is commendable, and many, many people do not know what they want to do at 21 and take years to figure it out (if they ever do).

The big BUT here is that everyone needs to make a living. When you're a child it is your parents responsibility to provide for you and they seem to have done so well. But now you're an adult you need to be responsible for your own life choices and be able to fund them, not expect your parents to subsidise your life by working jobs that they may dislike, may make them stressed, and that they would like to leave if funds allowed. It will seem to them as if you are wasting the opportunities that they have worked hard to provide.

Put something constructive in place. You don't need to chase grad jobs if that's not where your interest lie, but you need to do something when you graduate. Make plans to do TEFL/ teach/volunteer abroad/ gain experience in the care. teaching or a small business start-up, whatever you fancy that will give you stuff for your CV and help you decide on a future path.

Best of luck.
(edited 3 months ago)

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