Argument with girlfriend - she slapped me.
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Original post by sweetascandy
I think she was out of order. Make sure she reaalllyyy apologizes..
Any suggestions?
OP I would not be with her. unless this was a big birthday with someone who is very special you do not do that. I had an ex who slapped me twice in 6 months. Each time it was to make a point to other people or because they thought it was the thing to do, which was not deserved. I later found out she was married soon after and constantly cheating on her husband even though they were having a child!
she is very unapppreciative... and well done for not hitting her back despite everything...many guys would've hit her back!
I think you should ignore her for a bit.... make her beg n apologise then have a long chat to ensure she does no such thing again!
I think you should ignore her for a bit.... make her beg n apologise then have a long chat to ensure she does no such thing again!
Original post by Anonymous
My girlfriend came over this afternoon, thought we'd have a nice day in...until she casually tells me that she's effectively cancelling the plans we'd already made because it's her friends birthday party.
I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).
She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!
We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!
I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.
She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a slagging match via text.
Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.
I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.
I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.
thanks.
I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).
She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!
We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!
I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.
She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a slagging match via text.
Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.
I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.
I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.
thanks.
Would have been another story if you'd slapped her... Double standards are shocking.
follow your feelings. anger will disappear faster than love will
Original post by silverbolt
I wonder if you would be some calm and rational if the guy had been the one to do the slapping.
well then seeing as its now the 21st century and its all equal rights he should been well within his rights to slap her back.
Her slapping him is not a little thing, i dont care how pissed off she was - she could have got up and left. In the arguement of who was more at fault - she was. Words said in the heat of the moment in one thing but assualt is something else.
OP personally the way she ahs acted would be a deal breaker and i wouldnt cancel the trip, id go and take a friend with me- but id let them the situation before hand, turning round to a mate male or female and going "im going to paris wanna come, btw we will in the same hotel room sharing a bed" is a bit of a wierd thing to land on someone
well then seeing as its now the 21st century and its all equal rights he should been well within his rights to slap her back.
Her slapping him is not a little thing, i dont care how pissed off she was - she could have got up and left. In the arguement of who was more at fault - she was. Words said in the heat of the moment in one thing but assualt is something else.
OP personally the way she ahs acted would be a deal breaker and i wouldnt cancel the trip, id go and take a friend with me- but id let them the situation before hand, turning round to a mate male or female and going "im going to paris wanna come, btw we will in the same hotel room sharing a bed" is a bit of a wierd thing to land on someone
I know it's a double standard. Personally, I'd never slap my bf, or anybody really. We see girls slapping guys on TV pretty much everyday though. Right now I can't think of a relationship-based soap that doesn't have some overemotional girl slapping the male lead etc. Maybe that's what she's used to seeing, and it's portrayed as acceptable, becoming such in her mind. I'm not saying it was right. I'm just saying that we're used to girls slapping guys, and it's normally shown as "whatever", whereas other way round it's always shown as "evil, evil, evil".
Punch her in the c**t.
Paris sucks. Full of nigerians.
brek her jaw ffs
Original post by bex_1_2_1
Omg, if I was her I'd never go to a party over a weekend in Paris with my boyfriend! 
She sounds a bit of a bitch.
About the slapping thing, it's not really that big a deal to me... me and my boyfriend play fight all the time.
She sounds a bit of a bitch.About the slapping thing, it's not really that big a deal to me... me and my boyfriend play fight all the time.
i'm sure thats an interesting game to play
great day!Original post by southminor
i'm sure thats an interesting game to play great day!
great day!Yeah though he can get annoyed when he get's hurt
But when he tickles me and bites my nipples so hard
even when I tell him to stop then he has noone but himself to blame 
Original post by Menakshelatte
Have you heard of tradition? or gentleman? that's the way it's been for so many years..and it's going to be.
a boy slapping a girl is like him wearong a wedding dress.wrong.
They dont have the same physical strength.plus the guys must be polite no matter what.This ofcourse does not make it ok for girls to use violence.
but it will never be the same.
a boy slapping a girl is like him wearong a wedding dress.wrong.
They dont have the same physical strength.plus the guys must be polite no matter what.This ofcourse does not make it ok for girls to use violence.
but it will never be the same.
I don't really see what point you're trying to make with your 'tradition' argument. It was also, 'tradition' for women to be laid off from work as soon as they married. It was also 'tradition' for women to be denied the right to vote. And guess what, it changed.
In a workplace environment, it is unacceptable for a man to slap a woman or for a woman to slap a man. No distinction is made according to gender. Both are deemd as equally reprehensible forms of harrassment and could result in dismissal.
How do you know what the relative strengths of the male and female involved? E.g. Mike Tyson is stronger than me, but if I punched him as hard as I could directly in his forehead it would still be very likely to hurt him.
I still fail to see why you think it was acceptable for the female in question to resort to physical violence when she could have argued rationally. And why must a guy be 'polite no matter what'? Is it in the Magna Carta or something?
And there is nothing wrong with a boy wearing a wedding dress if he so wishes. Who are you to tell him not too?
Original post by Anonymous
My girlfriend came over this afternoon, thought we'd have a nice day in...until she casually tells me that she's effectively cancelling the plans we'd already made because it's her friends birthday party.
I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).
She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!
We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!
I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.
She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a slagging match via text.
Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.
I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.
I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.
thanks.
I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).
She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!
We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!
I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.
She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a slagging match via text.
Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.
I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.
I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.
thanks.
1: She knew about it and casually disregarded the plans
Trun this 180 and put it to yourself and think what she would say if you 'suddenly' decided it was a better idea to go out and get lashed with a mate for his Bday.
GREAT SUCCESS!...Not!
I guarantee you she would withdraw any physical activity for a month, perhaps more and maybe even dump you for it.
2: She slapped you.
Again, put it this way, if you punched her I guarantee you either the police will be involved, her friends will be involved and you'd be dumped or on the hate list.
I would dump her but thats because I couldn't stand anyone hitting me, my brain just cant take it.
Hey
I think when you're ready, you should talk to her, maybe give it a few days to cool the situation down if that makes any sense?
And if she's texted and called you after the incident, in my perspective that probably means she's calling to say sorry considering the fact that that you've been together for a while. But i think you did the right thing by avoiding her calls because you let yourself calm down instead of using your anger towards her.
I get that you feel disrespected and in relationships i don't think i know anyone who hasn't had an argument! I think you should talk to her and discuss what's happened instead of bottling up how you feel because that could make things worse.
I hope you guys are all good! Hope that helped
I think when you're ready, you should talk to her, maybe give it a few days to cool the situation down if that makes any sense?
And if she's texted and called you after the incident, in my perspective that probably means she's calling to say sorry considering the fact that that you've been together for a while. But i think you did the right thing by avoiding her calls because you let yourself calm down instead of using your anger towards her.
I get that you feel disrespected and in relationships i don't think i know anyone who hasn't had an argument! I think you should talk to her and discuss what's happened instead of bottling up how you feel because that could make things worse.
I hope you guys are all good! Hope that helped
Original post by OMGWTFBBQ
Don't stupid bitches realise that domestic violence is never justified?
Even when the genders are reversed.
Makes me sick.
Even when the genders are reversed.
Makes me sick.
Agree. It's never alright, man or woman. Hitting someone in reaction to anger is never acceptable. How much it hurts doesn't matter.
OP I rate you for maintaining calm but I would seriously look at the relationship itself. Is she worth it?
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by effofex
Leave her. A woman who resorts to slapping is not one to be in a relationship with. Physical violence in a relationship is not really acceptable.
I think it's unfair to say that's always true. Physical violence in a relationship where one person is the least bit uncomfortable with that violence is unacceptable.
I mean, shame as I apparently should be to confess it, I ocassionally slap my boyfriend. But not in rage or to hurt him. It is just a thing we do. It's on a par with him tickling me. A playful thing. If he ever were to say "please don't do that again" I would never do it again without permission. If he slapped me with the same (reasonable/playful) level of force and intent nor would I have a problem with it.
But I think it is much too taboo (with a degree of good reason I guess) for a man to hit a girl, that it is even unacceptable in play. I don't think he would feel appropriate doing it.
But even so.. random discussion there. I don't think physical violence is always unacceptable.
OP - if you feel very hurt/violated by your gf, then you should tell her when you are ready. I don't think there is any lost face in taking her back if she is sorry.
She may have underestimated how seriously you would take her violence, and this, whilst being her problem, is still perhaps something to take into account. I doubt she meant to harm you. And if you explained to her how strongly you felt, I doubt that she would do it again.
It may seem sexist that I might react more strongly if this situation was gender reversed, which I can't really deny - but that is because given the current climate (which is again, I guess, appropriate) surrounding any form of domestic violence, I suspect that most men have thought about how they shouldn't really hit girls, and what it means to hit a girl.. but many girls will not have thought about the situation in reverse, so they will not be prepared to refrain themselves should they get very angry. They may not even consider their boyfriend would have a strong objection or be emotionally hurt. Does that make any sense?
If your girlfriend is not remorseful however, or if she behaves in this way again knowing how much you disagree with it, then I would say she is not worth your time.
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