Is this cheating? Does it make me a s.lut?

Is that the relationship you really want with your boyfriend? It doesn't sound like a relationship to me. Sounds like a tragic disaster.

You either tell him you want to sleep with someone else and it goes one of two ways: **** "relationship" which will just get worse until inevitable breakup in future, or you lose him anyway. I think the only way to keep him is to not bring it up, and not think about this other guy again. Your call.

Well to be honest, she just wants to be told what she wants to hear I suspect

Oh honestly, you're so determined to be the discriminated-against victim of a conformist society. Either shag him or don't - if you REALLY cared about your boyfriend, you would have spoken to him before you even started flirting.

I probably won't reply again because I find your attitude quite boring. Have fun - or don't. Up to you, really.

Why? Just because it's not a conventional relationship? I have never had a relationship like this before either, and thought I wouldn't have one. But for mine and my boyfriends situation, it is the best way. I like him. He likes me. I don't personally feel it is natural for us to be in a monogamous relationship at this age.

I think by us being honest, and open and remaining free we are getting the best of both worlds. And yeah, maybe it won't work, we might get jealous and hate each other. Or neither or us will sleep with other people, and hey that worked!

But like I keep saying, not all relationships are the same, doesn't mean it's '****ty'

Well to be honest, she just wants to be told what she wants to hear I suspect

No, people are just commenting, rightly so, believing I am in a monogamous relationship, which maybe I didn't highlight enough in my first post.

So I am just saying, I am allowed to sleep with other men, if we both agree with it and we talk about it first. But I did flirt with the other man without talking to my boyfriend, which I felt guilty about and thought was a little bad.

I just wanted opinions on if others feel if this is cheating? I know my boyfriends okay with it, and I was honest with him about it happening. I just wanted other perspectives on this.

I just had people saying I shouldn't be in a relationship/poor man, when this clearing isn't the case.

Now I may be wrong, but people just seem to want to put me down because I'm a girl who enjoys casual sex, and have a pretty open relationship and if I say what's wrong with that, I just get flamed

Stop striking out at the people online who are trying to give opinions. And actually, they're opinions that you asked for just by the very notion of asking this question.

Not all relationships are the same, no. But it doesn't take a monkey to realise that relationships cannot change their structure successfully, at least not by falling back into a less secure state. You can enter into an open relationship (which is what you're implying you want, basically) from the start, but you can't shift successfully from a monogamous relationship to an open one.

I'm just saying he wouldn't be your boyfriend anymore. He'd be the guy you're seeing, or your friend with benefits. If you're okay with that then you can talk to him. But any person would feel like someone punched them in the teeth if their boyfriend or girlfriend asked if it was okay to have sex with other people. Taking a step back never works.

Oh honestly, you're so determined to be the discriminated-against victim of a conformist society. Either shag him or don't - if you REALLY cared about your boyfriend, you would have spoken to him before you even started flirting.

I probably won't reply again because I find your attitude quite boring. Have fun - or don't. Up to you, really.

Why not be single though if you want to sleep around?

Why not be single though if you want to sleep around?

I agree with this. She doesn't sound like she wants to take responsibility for her own actions- she's blaming society, her boyfriend, men in general...

I don't think you're a slut or a cheat, but don't ask the question if you don't want to hear one of the answers. I wouldn't say to someone "you're unattractive", but if they say "am I attractive to you?" I'm going to answer honestly.

It doesn't sound like you're ready for a monogamous relationship (or that you really want one, or maybe even are truly in one). Probably just try to keep things casual with these guys? I don't support the view that when you're in love, you don't want to shag other people. I do. But I think "damn, she's hot, I'd love to get with her", but that's massively overwhelmed by "I love my girlfriend, what we have is more important, I wouldn't betray her".

No judgement here if you'd rather shag around for a while. Shagging around can be great. Just don't mess people around.

Why be single if she and her boyfriend enjoy being in a relationship while not being too bothered about it being an open one?

If I'm honest it sounds to me like the boyfriend may have already slept with other people but doesn't want to come right out and say it in case it hurts the OP, or is at least planning on it happening. Hence being so 'ok' about everything so far.

OP: Communicate with your boyfriend. He sounds open to the idea, so just discuss it. If he's fine with you sleeping with this person, go ahead. It may lead to more jealousy/hurt feelings than either of you expected, but you'll never know until you try, and you're breaking up in September anyway. May as well try it if he's genuinely all for the idea.

For example, I asked a girl what kind of underwear she was wearing on the phone, is it a thong that goes into your ... she asked if I had a hardon. We go out for drink and take hands together, but she doesn't sleep with me. She has a long-term boyfriend. We havent kissed. She jokingly touched my thing. I grabbed her butt for an inappropriate amount of time. But no we havent slept together.

Thank you
I don't think he has, but maybe who knows

And I will, I just don't want to upset him so I have to be careful when bringing it up. I thought he'd be upset with my flirting but he wasn't, and he always told me to be honest, no matter what. So see how it goes.