Fed up with people putting me down all the time
Hi! I'm 21 and a guy. Basically, i'm fed up with people putting me down all the time... then those people wonder why i'm shy.
My sister is 18. I try and get on with her, yet she clearly hates me. I lent her a lot of money so she could buy a car. She's paid it all back now, but she's just always, and was back then when she had my money, vile. I'll be nice, I'll help her etc, and yet when her friends are around her, or she's in a mood, it'll be "f**k off you weirdo" and she'll say anything she can to me to hurt my feelings. I'm looking for a job in the area I'd like, I actually have an interview next week, and i'm currently in retail. She said "you've got a crap job, crap life, drop dead".
People outside of my family say i'm good looking. They do in work yet i've NEVER had a girlfriend. My family put me down about the way I look and I just feel really unconfident. Like about a year ago, I lost a bit of weight. They were commenting how skinny I looked. Then I put on a bit, and I got called fat. My hair gets longer... they say it's scruffy, I get it cut, they comment how short it is. I get my legs out on holiday... they'll laugh they're hairy. I have hairy legs. I don't need to be told that. I feel worried about it because I know a lot of girls don't like hair.
Yesterday I went to the beach with friends. It was just so nice to sit there, relax, breath in the nice sea air, get a bit of a tan - because my family say how "white" i am... laugh about with my mates, take some nice photos, exchange a smile with a rather attractive girl my age in the chippy haha.
It was just so nice to be away from my family. As horrible as that sounds, but I felt quite confident and happy there. It was miles away too.
Even at work I get put down a bit. I've never been confident and always ask what to do to make sure i'm doing a task right. One of the managers said "you always ask all the time!", so on this one thing, I thought i'd feel confident and get on with something. Suddenly, 2 managers come over and tell me off because apparently there's a new way of doing that thing... I was never told.
So my question... how can I be more confident? I need to stop being so shy and fight back at what people say. In secondary school, there was 2 boys who always picked on me. I had enough one day so when he was sat on a small short wall, I pulled him by his bag, and he fell off. He got laughed at. I felt so cruel doing that and it just wasn't me. He never said anything to me ever again, but it didn't feel right doing that.
My sister is 18. I try and get on with her, yet she clearly hates me. I lent her a lot of money so she could buy a car. She's paid it all back now, but she's just always, and was back then when she had my money, vile. I'll be nice, I'll help her etc, and yet when her friends are around her, or she's in a mood, it'll be "f**k off you weirdo" and she'll say anything she can to me to hurt my feelings. I'm looking for a job in the area I'd like, I actually have an interview next week, and i'm currently in retail. She said "you've got a crap job, crap life, drop dead".
People outside of my family say i'm good looking. They do in work yet i've NEVER had a girlfriend. My family put me down about the way I look and I just feel really unconfident. Like about a year ago, I lost a bit of weight. They were commenting how skinny I looked. Then I put on a bit, and I got called fat. My hair gets longer... they say it's scruffy, I get it cut, they comment how short it is. I get my legs out on holiday... they'll laugh they're hairy. I have hairy legs. I don't need to be told that. I feel worried about it because I know a lot of girls don't like hair.
Yesterday I went to the beach with friends. It was just so nice to sit there, relax, breath in the nice sea air, get a bit of a tan - because my family say how "white" i am... laugh about with my mates, take some nice photos, exchange a smile with a rather attractive girl my age in the chippy haha.
It was just so nice to be away from my family. As horrible as that sounds, but I felt quite confident and happy there. It was miles away too.
Even at work I get put down a bit. I've never been confident and always ask what to do to make sure i'm doing a task right. One of the managers said "you always ask all the time!", so on this one thing, I thought i'd feel confident and get on with something. Suddenly, 2 managers come over and tell me off because apparently there's a new way of doing that thing... I was never told.
So my question... how can I be more confident? I need to stop being so shy and fight back at what people say. In secondary school, there was 2 boys who always picked on me. I had enough one day so when he was sat on a small short wall, I pulled him by his bag, and he fell off. He got laughed at. I felt so cruel doing that and it just wasn't me. He never said anything to me ever again, but it didn't feel right doing that.
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Well here's my advice: learn to stop taking **** from people and stand up for yourself!!!!!!!!
People keep putting you down because they can see you're letting them!!! Respect yourself and don't let people talk to you like that.
And fyi, you can be the most good looking person on the planet but if you have mo confidence, its hard for people to find you attractive. You're most likely a handsome chap. Respect yourself, have more confidence and put the haters in their place!
People keep putting you down because they can see you're letting them!!! Respect yourself and don't let people talk to you like that.
And fyi, you can be the most good looking person on the planet but if you have mo confidence, its hard for people to find you attractive. You're most likely a handsome chap. Respect yourself, have more confidence and put the haters in their place!
Original post by Secretnerd123
Well here's my advice: learn to stop taking **** from people and stand up for yourself!!!!!!!!
People keep putting you down because they can see you're letting them!!! Respect yourself and don't let people talk to you like that.
And fyi, you can be the most good looking person on the planet but if you have mo confidence, its hard for people to find you attractive. You're most likely a handsome chap. Respect yourself, have more confidence and put the haters in their place!
People keep putting you down because they can see you're letting them!!! Respect yourself and don't let people talk to you like that.
And fyi, you can be the most good looking person on the planet but if you have mo confidence, its hard for people to find you attractive. You're most likely a handsome chap. Respect yourself, have more confidence and put the haters in their place!
Thanks
By the way, I love your Location under your username bit
Original post by 2scotty
Thanks
By the way, I love your Location under your username bit
By the way, I love your Location under your username bit
No worries and thanks
Its just angers me when nice people get treated like dirt. I used to be similar to you and would never stand up for myself. If someone dares to disrespect me now, they better expect to be put in their place. Obviously, I don't use violence (thats never the key) but I try my best to get through to them and make them change their ways.
Original post by Secretnerd123
No worries and thanks
Its just angers me when nice people get treated like dirt. I used to be similar to you and would never stand up for myself. If someone dares to disrespect me now, they better expect to be put in their place. Obviously, I don't use violence (thats never the key) but I try my best to get through to them and make them change their ways.
Its just angers me when nice people get treated like dirt. I used to be similar to you and would never stand up for myself. If someone dares to disrespect me now, they better expect to be put in their place. Obviously, I don't use violence (thats never the key) but I try my best to get through to them and make them change their ways.
Thank you. I do need to stand up for myself! I'm just worried people will think of me in a bad way if I suddenly go from "yes Miss" to "no, actually..." etc.
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
Original post by 2scotty
Thank you. I do need to stand up for myself! I'm just worried people will think of me in a bad way if I suddenly go from "yes Miss" to "no, actually..." etc.
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
Obviously, at the start they will be a little taken aback but believe me they will adjust to the 'new you' quicker than you think. You'll also get more people respecting you
And IMO you're actually very attractive (i'd tell you if you weren't) so you have nothing to worry about
Aw is it a girl or boy? I love cats (my family recently adopted a kitten and i'm in love with them now xD )
Original post by Secretnerd123
Obviously, at the start they will be a little taken aback but believe me they will adjust to the 'new you' quicker than you think. You'll also get more people respecting you
And IMO you're actually very attractive (i'd tell you if you weren't) so you have nothing to worry about
Aw is it a girl or boy? I love cats (my family recently adopted a kitten and i'm in love with them now xD )
And IMO you're actually very attractive (i'd tell you if you weren't) so you have nothing to worry about
Aw is it a girl or boy? I love cats (my family recently adopted a kitten and i'm in love with them now xD )
Ah cool okay
I'll have to try it.It's a girl! What type of cats you got? We've got a black and white one too... she's a rat catcher! haha
Original post by 2scotty
Ah cool okay I'll have to try it.
It's a girl! What type of cats you got? We've got a black and white one too... she's a rat catcher! haha
I'll have to try it.It's a girl! What type of cats you got? We've got a black and white one too... she's a rat catcher! haha
Haha mines black and white too and a girl. She's quite a sleepy head and just walks around the house when shes not sleeping but when you get a wire or a long piece of string out, she's on fire! I love playing with her! At what age do they become adults and stop being interested in playing?
Original post by 2scotty
Thank you. I do need to stand up for myself! I'm just worried people will think of me in a bad way if I suddenly go from "yes Miss" to "no, actually..." etc.
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
da*** bro you're hot
Original post by Secretnerd123
Haha mines black and white too and a girl. She's quite a sleepy head and just walks around the house when shes not sleeping but when you get a wire or a long piece of string out, she's on fire! I love playing with her! At what age do they become adults and stop being interested in playing?
Aw all cats just sleep all the time! lol. Our black and white one, Lily, is 11 next month. She likes sleeping like any other cat, but get a cat toy out, or bit of string and she'll love it!
Original post by brownsugar-xx
da*** bro you're hot
Ngl I wonder how he ever gets criticised!
Spoiler
I think your situation must be awful and I think you should certainly try and stop them from saying those things. Maybe you should meet with friends frequently and go to that place wherever it was with the beach and the chippy girl. Especially if that makes you happy. Hope things get better for you
Nice cat btw.
Nice cat btw.
Original post by Secretnerd123
Ngl I wonder how he ever gets criticised!
Spoiler
Ikr like fak if that's unattractive i guess i'll die alone.
treat them mean, keep them keen?
I feel ya, boys who are modest about their looks are rare imo.Hey, I used to get put down a lot (and I still do) but I have learnt that people often do it to make themselves feel better. I would not take it personally and instead focus on yourself, which you are, considering you've got an interview next week. Next time you get a nasty remark, correct them and say what they have said it utterly unreasonable and unexplained. You know what they say it complete nonsense. I get most crap from my family, who are supposed to be supportive, but actually they don't see my achievements.
At the end of the day, you're proving them wrong by improving yourself everyday but don't do it for them, you're doing it for yourself and your future.
At the end of the day, you're proving them wrong by improving yourself everyday but don't do it for them, you're doing it for yourself and your future.
I was treated kind of like that too but not as bad as you i guess. 
My parents favour my brother for everything, just because he's better a sport and maths than I was, they've made me into his slave pretty much and put all his activities before mine, even if mine are more important. He never does anything, let alone say please and thank you. I make him food, pack his bags when he goes places, help him with homework/give him my old homework ect. One day he lost it because I wouldn't write his Spanish essay for him, and it led to him punching me and we got into a proper fist fight...even though i only pushed him and held his arms to stop him hurting me, I still got blamed and told off and he was comforted by my parents as if he just got shot, even though my nose was bleeding and he sprayed deodorant in my eyes so I couldn't see clearly and he was fine.
Also, I was between normal and underweight for my age, yet my parents still called me fat because I wasn't doing as much exercise as I used to. They said if I didn't shave my legs then I'd never get a job or a relationship. They tease me about everything, including my hobbies. So what if i like playing video games and not the typical girly things and i'm introverted and I'm not a straight A student....they don't understand.
I've come to accept that now, and I'll hopefully be going to university next year and I can't wait to get away from them (as harsh as it sounds). What I've learnt is don't let them push you around and stick up for yourself. Don't be afraid to talk to your sister about why she acts like that (she probably just wants to act 'cool' around her friends) and she sounds like any other 18 year old girl....different moods, uses you for stuff ect., and also sneak in a question about why your parents think you're not good looking (after all you're a mix of both of them, so they can't really talk
) and don't let your family decide whether you're 'good-looking' or not because after all, they're not the ones that are going to marry you and everyone's got their own opinion, but it doesn't mean it's right. You've just got to believe in yourself more and have more confidence in what you do. Show that you're an equal to them if not better, also remember that there are many other shy people and people with low-self esteem so don't feel like it's just you my friend
My parents favour my brother for everything, just because he's better a sport and maths than I was, they've made me into his slave pretty much and put all his activities before mine, even if mine are more important. He never does anything, let alone say please and thank you. I make him food, pack his bags when he goes places, help him with homework/give him my old homework ect. One day he lost it because I wouldn't write his Spanish essay for him, and it led to him punching me and we got into a proper fist fight...even though i only pushed him and held his arms to stop him hurting me, I still got blamed and told off and he was comforted by my parents as if he just got shot, even though my nose was bleeding and he sprayed deodorant in my eyes so I couldn't see clearly and he was fine.
Also, I was between normal and underweight for my age, yet my parents still called me fat because I wasn't doing as much exercise as I used to. They said if I didn't shave my legs then I'd never get a job or a relationship. They tease me about everything, including my hobbies. So what if i like playing video games and not the typical girly things and i'm introverted and I'm not a straight A student....they don't understand.
I've come to accept that now, and I'll hopefully be going to university next year and I can't wait to get away from them (as harsh as it sounds). What I've learnt is don't let them push you around and stick up for yourself. Don't be afraid to talk to your sister about why she acts like that (she probably just wants to act 'cool' around her friends) and she sounds like any other 18 year old girl....different moods, uses you for stuff ect., and also sneak in a question about why your parents think you're not good looking (after all you're a mix of both of them, so they can't really talk
) and don't let your family decide whether you're 'good-looking' or not because after all, they're not the ones that are going to marry you and everyone's got their own opinion, but it doesn't mean it's right. You've just got to believe in yourself more and have more confidence in what you do. Show that you're an equal to them if not better, also remember that there are many other shy people and people with low-self esteem so don't feel like it's just you my friend 
Original post by 2scotty
Thank you. I do need to stand up for myself! I'm just worried people will think of me in a bad way if I suddenly go from "yes Miss" to "no, actually..." etc.
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
NO WAY are you not good looking...i'd say you were at least an 8/10 xD but that's just my opinion :P you're parents are crazy....that is all xD
Original post by brownsugar-xx
Ikr like fak if that's unattractive i guess i'll die alone.
Lmao
I feel ya, boys who are modest about their looks are rare imo.Exactly
arrogance is a horrible traitQuoting the wisdom of Tyrion Lannister, whatever flaw your (in my opinion toxic) family tries to bring up''Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you ''. You won't always have to endure their hurtful comments; You seem like a lovely person that just needs to believe in himself a little bit more and you can conquer the world.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by 2scotty
Thank you. I do need to stand up for myself! I'm just worried people will think of me in a bad way if I suddenly go from "yes Miss" to "no, actually..." etc.
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
This is me... The cat doesn't look too happy but at least she doesn't put me down...
Hey, I've had confidence issues myself about looks and everything despite being complimented
I think that you just need to remind yourself about all the good things about yourself. Obviously its hard when you feel people are always putting you down but you have to remind yourself of your good attributes too! You have to love yourself to some extent if you want people to love you.
Also, you are a good looking guy (if that is actually you
) and seem really humble, I'm sure loads of girls would like to get to know you if the responses on this thread are anything to go by
Yeah you really do need to start standing up for yourself. I have lent my sister a lot of money as he has just finished Uni and wanted is looking for work, if she spoke to me the way your sister apparently speaks to you she wouldn't get anything.
Also wtf you are like really good looking man (no homo.)
Also wtf you are like really good looking man (no homo.)
(edited 9 years ago)
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