Just had a talk with him, he has to take his friend home (who had a sarcastic, pricky reaction when he heard it was me :/), so said he's coming back soon.
But he said he was sorry. He left his phone somewhere etc. I knew what he said was coming. His last relationship ended a year ago, and it was 8 years long. He only told me this in passing when we very first met. I always knew this was a huge potential issue. But yeah, he said he's scared to get into something again because he doesn't want to end up heartbroken again so he's backed off a bit, but didn't want to hurt me. And since the break up, he takes drugs (non-hardcore) but drinks mostly every day (already knew all this) to cope with it. But he said when he's with me its the only time he feels like his normal self and that he's happy and fulfilled again.
I don't know whats happening. But I'm not happy. I feel so sad and if we continue the way we are then I'll feel worse further down the line. I think he has to make the decision soon if he wants to take the risk and properly commit to me. I took a risk and trusted him. My last relationship was very abusive, mostly physically, but I took the risk and started a new relationship. I don't believe in punishing your new partner for how your last partner treated you. I just really want to be with him. He said he wants to be with me too. But sometimes, that's not enough, I know.
I don't know whats going to happen right now.