My dad came home wasted

My 9 to 5, straight edge father. He is usually about as far from alcoholic as one can get. A glass of wine with a meal is the most he would drink and that's when he was with guests. I mean we have liquor in our house that my mum and dad never touch. It's solely for guests.
Anyway tonight he got home wasted out of his mind. Barely spoke properly and fell asleep on the toilet. My poor mum is devastated and so are my brothers and myself. He even ****** drove home drunk. I mean I can't wrap my mind around that. He's always been rational and calm and collected and an example to everyone. And now this. I just can't imagine what went through his mind as he drank a glass after glass while still sober. I'm sure he'll be an apologetic mess tomorrow but I's scared there's no coming back from this. He really messed up. Not sure if mum will ever forgive him. Anyway, just felt like sharing.

The fact that he was able to drive home drunk without being caught shows that our police is crap or your father is an excellent driver but an average driver when drunk you should either be proud or disappointed, may be both. Proud at his mad driving skills but disappointed he risked his and potentially others lives.

Reply 41

hihihihihi

18

Did you talk to him today?

Reply 42

uberteknik

21

Original post by Anonymous

Well my dad didn't care about us enough not to completely destroy our lives. How twatty and selfish of me to be upset about that. It wasn't my first instinct moron. I've been thinking about it the whole day. How can you not understand how betrayed we feel? It's like he never even loved us at all. F*cking tsr sociopath pricks, don't know what i was thinking posting here in the first place.

oooohhh anger issues! Why are you resorting to insults?

Why are you even posting on TSR to try and elicit sympathy for yourself?

I think YOU are the one with the deep problems my friend.

**** happens. Grow up there's a good little boy.

Reply 43

Mike_123

18

So your dad ****s up once in 20 years and you can't forgive him? He seems to have raised you well as you know your morals but cut some slack

Reply 44

WannabeDoctor98

11

Original post by Anonymous

I never said he was an alcoholic. I just used to word to illustrate how uncharacteristic it is for him to get s*itfaced. Are you over 40 with a family? Why is everyone acting like a college student getting drunk on a Friday night is the same as a family 48 yo randomly getting wasted for no reason first time in 20 years?

Because it's the same? 48year olds can enjoy themselves just as much as teenagers/young adults can?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 45

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ChickenMadness

you're using 'my dad won't be able to pay for uni if he's dead' as the reason for your concern lmfao. I don't think I'm the **** here haha

so dense... read my other posts... really starting to think most tsr users are diagnosable psychopaths

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Mike_123

So your dad ****s up once in 20 years and you can't forgive him? He seems to have raised you well as you know your morals but cut some slack

I can forgive him. Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be upset about it.

Reply 47

domonict

17

If I had a drama queen like you, I'd be getting drunk as well.

Give the guy a break! Drinking and driving is bad. That said, a normally "sober" guy who gets drunk once in 20 years either has a problem that he is finding it hard to deal with, or maybe even his drink was spiked.

Everything in the thread is about you and your anger,, not concern for his welfare.

Driving aside, he is allowed to get plastered now and again, if he wants to.
You know what? I bet he's even had sex.......with your mum!
He' s a human for god's sake

Reply 48

Chicken.M.

20

No wonder your dad went out and got drunk. What an annoying child he has. LOL.

Reply 49

WannabeDoctor98

11

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah and I suppose part time uni job is enough to support my two younger brothers and myself. ok.

They should get a job too

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 50

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by uberteknik

oooohhh anger issues! Why are you resorting to insults?

Why are you even posting on TSR to try and elicit sympathy for yourself?

I think YOU are the one with the deep problems my friend.

**** happens. Grow up there's a good little boy.

Dozens of posts every day wanting support and you single me out and patronise me... this whole section is mainly for this purpose...

Reply 51

callum_law

6

Sounds like he's had a laugh for once in his miserable life. Give him a break.

Reply 52

caracharlotte

7

Original post by Anonymous

so dense... read my other posts... really starting to think most tsr users are diagnosable psychopaths

A psychopath has trouble feeling empathy for others, we're not the ones who are having trouble empathising with your dad for getting drunk one time after a presumably stressful day. Looks like you're the one struggling with empathy if the only thing you think about is your uni fees.

Reply 53

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ChickenMadness

No wonder your dad went out and got drunk. What an annoying child he has. LOL.

Well I barely talk to him anyway, can't see how he'd find me annoying

Reply 54

Anonymous #1

OP

I feel like no one is reading my explanations before replying and I have to repeat myself all the time

Reply 55

Octohedral

16

Original post by e aí rapaz

OP I'm amazed that your reaction to this is anger rather than concern. Why would a usually abstinent guy suddenly get so drunk?

I'm afraid I have to agree with this. I know you (OP) must feel shocked and betrayed, which is natural, precisely because you look up to your father as a strong character. However, even the most stoic and well intentioned individual can be subject to pressures they just can't suppress.

I think it's likely that something has been building up for a while that you don't know about. It could be a big thing, but it could equally be just a lot of small things you would think trivial. He could be depressed (perhaps a fact he will never accept), or he could be dissatisfied with his job or some other aspect of his life. It sounds like he's supporting your whole family, which is a big responsibility. Unfortunately, it's usually the people who try their best to get things right who fall the hardest when things do go wrong that they can't control.

I understand that men of a certain generation or culture simply don't talk about these things. I couldn't imagine ever bringing 'feelings' up with my father, and it's possible you will never know what the problem is. However, I think it's very important that you give him some allowance. Something has triggered this, and it's 100% not acceptable to drink drive (anyone who says it is, even once, should think about what would have happened if he had hit a three year old on the way home), but people do make mistakes, and they do sometimes need help rather than anger, no matter who they are.

Please try to hear him out, and perhaps read between the lines. This didn't come from nowhere. Your father is clearly a good family man, and that won't have changed overnight, but there is something going on that he feels like he is facing alone, even if he refuses to admit it.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 56

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by caracharlotte

A psychopath has trouble feeling empathy for others, we're not the ones who are having trouble empathising with your dad for getting drunk one time after a presumably stressful day. Looks like you're the one struggling with empathy if the only thing you think about is your uni fees.

So you didn't read my other post. It's not about the money itself, it's about what it represents. That our loving dad doesn't really give a **** about us.
"Well my dad didn't care about us enough not to completely destroy our lives. How twatty and selfish of me to be upset about that.How can you not understand how betrayed we feel? It's like he never even loved us at all

Reply 57

Anonymous #4

Hello. You keep emphasising that your father never drank and then suddenly drank and also drove wasted. Those are extreme behaviours and I strongly suggest you talk to him. Something had to have triggered it and if he won't talk about his feelings, it should not stop you from talking about yours. You have to be careful not to sound confrontational but let him understand how his behaviour made you feel. And yes you should not be angry but very very concerned about the drastic behaviour. Something really bad may have happened at work. Show him understanding and if he's not ready or willing to talk, remind him you are always there for him and express your wish for him to never show himself wasted to his kids or drive drunk. Think of this way, if you exhibited a drastic behaviour that was not you at all, do you not think your parents might want to find out the trigger rather than condemning you? So do the same for your dad. I am a parent and I get how you feel cus I will not do that to my kids but I also know too well how enormously stressful it can be to be a parent and deal with work and home and be expected to hold it together. Everyone has a breaking point so cut your dad some slack as a first time offender ok? Hope this helps.

Reply 58

callum_law

6

Original post by LegatusShadow

The fact that he was able to drive home drunk without being caught shows that our police is crap or your father is an excellent driver but an average driver when drunk you should either be proud or disappointed, may be both. Proud at his mad driving skills but disappointed he risked his and potentially others lives.