Being Gay at School.
Hi all now I'm 25 I left school some 10 years ago and, as you can guess from the title - realized throughout my secondary education that I was attracted to some of my classmates. At the time I brushed this off as admiration and curiosity rather than attraction and the fact it was an all boys school - there was nothing else on offer so thought it was natural I would have some fond thoughts of my classmates.
However having had relationships with boys and girls there is no doubt in my mind I swing both ways depending on my mood and maybe time of the month
Also going to a Catholic school with many homophobic teachers and pupils it was a pretty terrifying thought that people would find out. I've never "out" so to speak - if people ask I'll be honest and I will always introduce my partner be it male or female as my partner so people can put 2 and 2 together.
"Gay" was used as an insult in school and rumors went round and the butt of those rumors often had a pretty upsetting and tortuous time. My turn was thankfully short and although close mates probably guessed. I was never "outed"
I understand that in the last 10 years there has been a drive to re-educate teachers and pupils on this issue and apparently levels of tolerance and acceptance have never been higher...
I was wondering if anyone wanted to share their experience of this tolerance and acceptance - if you came out at school, were you advised to etc.
If you were also on the other side - did you use gay as an insult - did you bully your classmates if you thought they were gay - I will freely admit I did tease one or two myself to deflect the attention off me (as did judging by facebook 10 years on serveral others did as well!).
Very interested to hear from anyone's experience as I'm interested to know how attitudes and how its dealt with at school has changed through the times.
However having had relationships with boys and girls there is no doubt in my mind I swing both ways depending on my mood and maybe time of the month
Also going to a Catholic school with many homophobic teachers and pupils it was a pretty terrifying thought that people would find out. I've never "out" so to speak - if people ask I'll be honest and I will always introduce my partner be it male or female as my partner so people can put 2 and 2 together.
"Gay" was used as an insult in school and rumors went round and the butt of those rumors often had a pretty upsetting and tortuous time. My turn was thankfully short and although close mates probably guessed. I was never "outed"
I understand that in the last 10 years there has been a drive to re-educate teachers and pupils on this issue and apparently levels of tolerance and acceptance have never been higher...
I was wondering if anyone wanted to share their experience of this tolerance and acceptance - if you came out at school, were you advised to etc.
If you were also on the other side - did you use gay as an insult - did you bully your classmates if you thought they were gay - I will freely admit I did tease one or two myself to deflect the attention off me (as did judging by facebook 10 years on serveral others did as well!).
Very interested to hear from anyone's experience as I'm interested to know how attitudes and how its dealt with at school has changed through the times.
Scroll to see replies
Hi
I actually have no clue what my sexuality is to be honest, partly because I've never even kissed anyone let alone been in a relationship. If I'm perfectly honest, I used to feel quite frightened at the word 'gay' because I heard some people use it as insults, and I even went through a stage of thinking I was a lesbian (which I've found isn't true because I'm mostly attracted to guys). However, as I've grown up I've learnt a LOT of things and matured a lot and I've thankfully been brought up by very liberal and accepting parents so now I realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay- it's perfectly natural to feel love towards another human being and I think it is evil and disgusting to think otherwise. There needs to be more discussion about sexuality in schools and although our society has come along way, we still need to improve in some aspects- can you believe that until recently gay marriage wasn't legal?! Anyway, I'm just so glad that things are so much freer now than they used to be
x
I actually have no clue what my sexuality is to be honest, partly because I've never even kissed anyone let alone been in a relationship. If I'm perfectly honest, I used to feel quite frightened at the word 'gay' because I heard some people use it as insults, and I even went through a stage of thinking I was a lesbian (which I've found isn't true because I'm mostly attracted to guys). However, as I've grown up I've learnt a LOT of things and matured a lot and I've thankfully been brought up by very liberal and accepting parents so now I realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay- it's perfectly natural to feel love towards another human being and I think it is evil and disgusting to think otherwise. There needs to be more discussion about sexuality in schools and although our society has come along way, we still need to improve in some aspects- can you believe that until recently gay marriage wasn't legal?! Anyway, I'm just so glad that things are so much freer now than they used to be
xHi! Great post...i have had similar experiences -- went to an all boys school, secretly had crushes on some boys, but overtly i was a homophobe to fit in with my friends and peers. Feel embarrassed about it now. I have always liked girls too -- it depends on the weather and the season!! -- but i have now accepted I am bi.
Are schools really any more tolerant now?
Are schools really any more tolerant now?
Original post by Daftpunker
Hi all now I'm 25 I left school some 10 years ago and, as you can guess from the title - realized throughout my secondary education that I was attracted to some of my classmates. At the time I brushed this off as admiration and curiosity rather than attraction and the fact it was an all boys school - there was nothing else on offer so thought it was natural I would have some fond thoughts of my classmates.
However having had relationships with boys and girls there is no doubt in my mind I swing both ways depending on my mood and maybe time of the month
Also going to a Catholic school with many homophobic teachers and pupils it was a pretty terrifying thought that people would find out. I've never "out" so to speak - if people ask I'll be honest and I will always introduce my partner be it male or female as my partner so people can put 2 and 2 together.
"Gay" was used as an insult in school and rumors went round and the butt of those rumors often had a pretty upsetting and tortuous time. My turn was thankfully short and although close mates probably guessed. I was never "outed"
I understand that in the last 10 years there has been a drive to re-educate teachers and pupils on this issue and apparently levels of tolerance and acceptance have never been higher...
I was wondering if anyone wanted to share their experience of this tolerance and acceptance - if you came out at school, were you advised to etc.
If you were also on the other side - did you use gay as an insult - did you bully your classmates if you thought they were gay - I will freely admit I did tease one or two myself to deflect the attention off me (as did judging by facebook 10 years on serveral others did as well!).
Very interested to hear from anyone's experience as I'm interested to know how attitudes and how its dealt with at school has changed through the times.
However having had relationships with boys and girls there is no doubt in my mind I swing both ways depending on my mood and maybe time of the month
Also going to a Catholic school with many homophobic teachers and pupils it was a pretty terrifying thought that people would find out. I've never "out" so to speak - if people ask I'll be honest and I will always introduce my partner be it male or female as my partner so people can put 2 and 2 together.
"Gay" was used as an insult in school and rumors went round and the butt of those rumors often had a pretty upsetting and tortuous time. My turn was thankfully short and although close mates probably guessed. I was never "outed"
I understand that in the last 10 years there has been a drive to re-educate teachers and pupils on this issue and apparently levels of tolerance and acceptance have never been higher...
I was wondering if anyone wanted to share their experience of this tolerance and acceptance - if you came out at school, were you advised to etc.
If you were also on the other side - did you use gay as an insult - did you bully your classmates if you thought they were gay - I will freely admit I did tease one or two myself to deflect the attention off me (as did judging by facebook 10 years on serveral others did as well!).
Very interested to hear from anyone's experience as I'm interested to know how attitudes and how its dealt with at school has changed through the times.
Well, I was always called gay from the age of around about 6 at primary school and teachers didn't do anything about it. I didn't know what it all really meant; words like 'faggot' and 'bender', and so on.
When I matriculated to secondary school, I too attending a catholic school, I met a boy I thought was pretty attractive and he was two years older than me. He was gay and we talked a lot and had a kiss or two. I told one of my close friends I was gay and he was okay with it. I told another 'friend' who then laughed me out of the school to be honest. He told everyone that same day and it spread across the town pretty quickly, different people in different schools knew after a couple of months and after a year, pretty much everyone knew me as the gay guy who came out at 11 and was brave and all that rubbish that I really didn't merit. I had a couple of boys beat me up, one boy stabbed me in year 8/early year 9 and teachers actively took part in a great deal of the persecution.
My deputy head placed me in isolation for a month for speaking out against somebody who was bullying me and called it an inappropriate topic of discussion for school. My parents did not approve of who I was and supported this teacher. One friend made a stand against him and she was excluded for doing so. The headteacher did not disagree with the deputy head's actions and allowed him to continue. Then when I began self-harming in year 8 through to the middle of year 9, I was excluded. Teachers began to join in with the tormenting, one teacher told me he'd buy me a dress for my birthday just randomly and I'm not at all effeminate, it was just a dig and unprompted. Another just joined in with other people when taking the mickey out of homosexuality. A lot happened.
After I attempted to commit suicide by hanging, my headteacher resigned and the replacement enforced strict policies about bullying and was a child-protection officer. In year ten, a new deputy joined the school and she literally saved my life so many times. She hired Stonewall UK to train my teachers, spoke about homosexuality and anti-gay bullying in assemblies to educate people on the issue and everything got significantly better. Teachers were making a point of punishing bullies rather than brushing it under the carpet or joining in. At my new college, no teacher's are aware about my sexuality and I haven't spoken about it - my friends know and if I'm asked I don't deny it but it hasn't been shouted about by anyone, which I'm happy about. One teacher knows for a couple of reasons and he has been so supportive.
I think you just have to stay strong at school and remember that school-children don't know what they're saying half of the time. I never bullied anyone at school, I'd never be able to do that to somebody.
I hope that answers the question...
Post edited automatically
I'm not sure Secondary schools have improved much in the way of accepting other sexualitites- particularly amongst girls who seem to have a problem with lesbians? I attended a Catholic school, where the entire subject was completely ignored and there was a sense of suppressed passive aggression towards LGBT+ because of this. Only one boy came out as gay and two came out as bi, most of my friends and I were closeted.
Anyhow, my new college is extremely open and supportive of LGBT+ students, there is even a pride group (which I am a member of) and it's easy to be open about gender fluidity and sexual orientation (I am pansexual and agender).
To be honest, I probably invertly associate myself with people whom I know will be more tolerant or liberal. If the peers you are with act in such a bigoted way what is the point in staying near them? Much better to be alone and self accepting than to hide how you feel because you are afraid of rejection from such unpleasant people.
Anyhow, my new college is extremely open and supportive of LGBT+ students, there is even a pride group (which I am a member of) and it's easy to be open about gender fluidity and sexual orientation (I am pansexual and agender).
To be honest, I probably invertly associate myself with people whom I know will be more tolerant or liberal. If the peers you are with act in such a bigoted way what is the point in staying near them? Much better to be alone and self accepting than to hide how you feel because you are afraid of rejection from such unpleasant people.
Being gay was not socially acceptable at my school
Original post by iamthetruth
Being gay was not socially acceptable at my school
It's pretty worrying that that's the case in England still but it certainly is for a lot of schools to be honest.
Original post by Zzzyax
I cant say I eulogise what you do. but its sounds quite upsetting what youve been through, you need to toughen up and stop acting like a bitch if you want to be happy.
Who are you to tell somebody how to deal with something? Don't talk about things you don't understand.
Original post by Zzzyax
bitch gtfo you ****ing faggot, **** off and die faggot
I'm quite content with living, thank you very much. People with your disgusting attitude are now the minority.
Original post by Zzzyax
Thats not true everyone whose normal hates you
Shame.
Original post by Zzzyax
Bitch go get ****ed up the ass, u ****ing bitch, youre no man, youre a ****ing bitch sad depressive hoe, dirty hoe, ****ing digusting person. let me guess are u bottom right. lol
I wouldn't know, I've never had sex with a man
. Sing another song, heard it all before and if you think a little message from someone over the internet that I don't know is going to upset me, you could not be more mistaken.
Original post by Zzzyax
****ing hell im getting depressed just looking at your ****ing profile sad bitch. kill yourself
Stop looking then?
Original post by ivybridge
Well, I was always called gay from the age of around about 6 at primary school and teachers didn't do anything about it. I didn't know what it all really meant; words like 'faggot' and 'bender', and so on.
When I matriculated to secondary school, I too attending a catholic school, I met a boy I thought was pretty attractive and he was two years older than me. He was gay and we talked a lot and had a kiss or two. I told one of my close friends I was gay and he was okay with it. I told another 'friend' who then laughed me out of the school to be honest. He told everyone that same day and it spread across the town pretty quickly, different people in different schools knew after a couple of months and after a year, pretty much everyone knew me as the gay guy who came out at 11 and was brave and all that rubbish that I really didn't merit. I had a couple of boys beat me up, one boy stabbed me in year 8/early year 9 and teachers actively took part in a great deal of the persecution.
My deputy head placed me in isolation for a month for speaking out against somebody who was bullying me and called it an inappropriate topic of discussion for school. My parents did not approve of who I was and supported this teacher. One friend made a stand against him and she was excluded for doing so. The headteacher did not disagree with the deputy head's actions and allowed him to continue. Then when I began self-harming in year 8 through to the middle of year 9, I was excluded. Teachers began to join in with the tormenting, one teacher told me he'd buy me a dress for my birthday just randomly and I'm not at all effeminate, it was just a dig and unprompted. Another just joined in with other people when taking the mickey out of homosexuality. A lot happened.
After I attempted to commit suicide by hanging, my headteacher resigned and the replacement enforced strict policies about bullying and was a child-protection officer. In year ten, a new deputy joined the school and she literally saved my life so many times. She hired Stonewall UK to train my teachers, spoke about homosexuality and anti-gay bullying in assemblies to educate people on the issue and everything got significantly better. Teachers were making a point of punishing bullies rather than brushing it under the carpet or joining in. At my new college, no teacher's are aware about my sexuality and I haven't spoken about it - my friends know and if I'm asked I don't deny it but it hasn't been shouted about by anyone, which I'm happy about. One teacher knows for a couple of reasons and he has been so supportive.
I think you just have to stay strong at school and remember that school-children don't know what they're saying half of the time. I never bullied anyone at school, I'd never be able to do that to somebody.
I hope that answers the question...
When I matriculated to secondary school, I too attending a catholic school, I met a boy I thought was pretty attractive and he was two years older than me. He was gay and we talked a lot and had a kiss or two. I told one of my close friends I was gay and he was okay with it. I told another 'friend' who then laughed me out of the school to be honest. He told everyone that same day and it spread across the town pretty quickly, different people in different schools knew after a couple of months and after a year, pretty much everyone knew me as the gay guy who came out at 11 and was brave and all that rubbish that I really didn't merit. I had a couple of boys beat me up, one boy stabbed me in year 8/early year 9 and teachers actively took part in a great deal of the persecution.
My deputy head placed me in isolation for a month for speaking out against somebody who was bullying me and called it an inappropriate topic of discussion for school. My parents did not approve of who I was and supported this teacher. One friend made a stand against him and she was excluded for doing so. The headteacher did not disagree with the deputy head's actions and allowed him to continue. Then when I began self-harming in year 8 through to the middle of year 9, I was excluded. Teachers began to join in with the tormenting, one teacher told me he'd buy me a dress for my birthday just randomly and I'm not at all effeminate, it was just a dig and unprompted. Another just joined in with other people when taking the mickey out of homosexuality. A lot happened.
After I attempted to commit suicide by hanging, my headteacher resigned and the replacement enforced strict policies about bullying and was a child-protection officer. In year ten, a new deputy joined the school and she literally saved my life so many times. She hired Stonewall UK to train my teachers, spoke about homosexuality and anti-gay bullying in assemblies to educate people on the issue and everything got significantly better. Teachers were making a point of punishing bullies rather than brushing it under the carpet or joining in. At my new college, no teacher's are aware about my sexuality and I haven't spoken about it - my friends know and if I'm asked I don't deny it but it hasn't been shouted about by anyone, which I'm happy about. One teacher knows for a couple of reasons and he has been so supportive.
I think you just have to stay strong at school and remember that school-children don't know what they're saying half of the time. I never bullied anyone at school, I'd never be able to do that to somebody.
I hope that answers the question...
I know you probably get this a lot when you tell your story... but trust me you do deserve the plaudits you get. That's probably the most horrible thing I've seen members of authority do, and to have so many people against you and get through it all is admirable. Well done.
Original post by Zzzyax
I know ur upset, ima **** you myself, and id bet youd ****ing love it, u dirty hoe
Attachment not found
@TheonlyMrsHolmes, @XcitingStuart, @Danz123, @F.Nietzsche, @Plantagenet Crown, @thehistorybore, and @driftawaay - time to join forces again against the bigots
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by TheGrammarGuru
I know you probably get this a lot when you tell your story... but trust me you do deserve the plaudits you get. That's probably the most horrible thing I've seen members of authority do, and to have so many people against you and get through it all is admirable. Well done.
To be honest, I'm sure someone, somewhere, has had it worse. I'm just thankful for the people who actually made it possible for me to fight.
Original post by Zzzyax
****ing hell im getting depressed just looking at your ****ing profile sad bitch. kill yourself
Oh look, a soon-to-be-banned member
Original post by ivybridge
To be honest, I'm sure someone, somewhere, has had it worse. I'm just thankful for the people who actually made it possible for me to fight.
You've done really well.
Original post by ivybridge
@TheonlyMrsHolmes, @XcitingStuart, @Danz123, @F.Nietzsche, and @driftawaay - time to join forces again against the bigots
Attachment not found
@TheonlyMrsHolmes, @XcitingStuart, @Danz123, @F.Nietzsche, and @driftawaay - time to join forces again against the bigots
Of course
But should we even bother? He sounds like a bit of a lost cause if you ask me...
Nevertheless, I think it's likely he will be getting banned in 3...2...
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by driftawaay
Oh look, a soon-to-be-banned member
Marilyn looks so beautiful
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- How is the gay scence at Aber University?
- Is WGHS (Wolverhampton Girls High School) any good.
- I could get Happy
- Flatmate is gay, I am Muslim. I want him to know I have no problem with his sexuality
- Loughborough University LGBTQ+
- Gay and Muslim
- I'm not gay but sometimes I get off to gay porn?
- Im gay but a christian
- Have a gf but not sure if I’m gay or not
- gay/bi muslims
- I watch lesbian porn but I’m straight
- Am I gay?
- Male boundaries and sexuality
- Can a camp man be straight?
- Watched straight and gay porn
- Being gay at Loughborough University
- How to ask out the *IT* guy
- Dodgy p.e. Teachers
- Gay relationships in sixth form/college
- Teacher training
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
