Still finding it hard to move on

I had a breakup about a year and a half ago.
It was a pretty long relationship, for 3 1/2 years, and he broke up with me over facebook, at 3am whilst he was in America and had just spent the past week cheating on me. (He'd planned it months in advance).

I don't miss the relationship and I don't want him back (we don't speak at all and have no idea where he is/what he's doing). The problem is just that I feel so angry about what happened still and I'm finding it really hard to have good relationships with guys now. I know that a lot of guys wouldn't do to me what he did but it's still at the back of my mind, and after a break in the dating world, the most I seem capable of doing now is one night stands.

Obviously no one is going to have a magical cure for that, it's more just venting my feelings but maybe someone has some words of wisdom?

I don't think lot's of one night stands is going to help your sadness, you really just have to move on mentally. I do not understand why some people think sleeping with lots of people on one night stands will help, all you are doing is damaging yourself more psychologically.

I had a breakup about a year and a half ago.
It was a pretty long relationship, for 3 1/2 years, and he broke up with me over facebook, at 3am whilst he was in America and had just spent the past week cheating on me. (He'd planned it months in advance).

I don't miss the relationship and I don't want him back (we don't speak at all and have no idea where he is/what he's doing). The problem is just that I feel so angry about what happened still and I'm finding it really hard to have good relationships with guys now. I know that a lot of guys wouldn't do to me what he did but it's still at the back of my mind, and after a break in the dating world, the most I seem capable of doing now is one night stands.

Obviously no one is going to have a magical cure for that, it's more just venting my feelings but maybe someone has some words of wisdom?

I've never thought that one night stands would help, but at the same time I don't think it's made anything worse either. It's just for fun.

I see, the way you wrote it made it seem like you were doing it to forget your ex.

It's okay. Being angry is normal and he was a dink to have treated you that way.

Just take a moment and pull yourself back from your own situation. Imagine it's 25 years from now and your own daughter is coming to you with this problem.


What would you say to her? Would you want her to be doing the same things you are?