Guys, would you date an ex self harmer and ex bulimic?
So, I'm 18 now and I used to self harm badly. On top of that, I used to have bulimia. Both self harming and bulimia wrecked me up badly (I have low self esteem as a result) and I failed my AS. I haven't self harmed or purged for about a year now. I consider myself an ex self harmer and bulimic. The thing is, I have self harm scars on my inner thighs,upper arms and some old ones on my legs so people can guess that I was a self harmer.
I know mentor girls who are bulimic and self harm to try and get them out of it. But I've heard some guys don't like dating ex self harmers because it's not attractive or the girl is damaged goods or something.
So I guess, the question is in the thread name really.
I know mentor girls who are bulimic and self harm to try and get them out of it. But I've heard some guys don't like dating ex self harmers because it's not attractive or the girl is damaged goods or something.
So I guess, the question is in the thread name really.
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*now
Wouldn't put me off that much
In fact, I can relate somewhat
In fact, I can relate somewhat
Original post by TheArtofProtest
What matters is how you are now, not what you were before.
Thanks
Original post by stefano865
Absolutely no problem. Nobody should be judged for this.
It wouldn't make me view a girl any differently.
Obviously if these problems resurfaced then it could be challenging. But it wouldn't put me off.
It wouldn't make me view a girl any differently.
Obviously if these problems resurfaced then it could be challenging. But it wouldn't put me off.
I've had bad experiences with guys telling me that I'm an emo so I'm terrified to start dating again
Original post by GUMI
Scars are sexy
I hate mine. Couple that with bad stretch marks and you have a horrible body
I'm a girl but it wouldn't put me off 
Personally, no. I've seen family go through similar things and just don't want to deal with it in a relationship as well as at home. That being said, I hope you continue to get better.
Original post by Anonymous
I hate mine. Couple that with bad stretch marks and you have a horrible body
I hate mine. Couple that with bad stretch marks and you have a horrible body
Brah, I have scars all over the left side of my face but i don't really care, it's a unique part of who I am and my past. Plus I really do think they are sexy
Original post by GUMI
Brah, I have scars all over the left side of my face but i don't really care, it's a unique part of who I am and my past. Plus I really do think they are sexy
Awww thanks haha :3
You are not your problems, nor your past.
I understand how it may seem, but trust me - love doesn't see scars or your past issues. It doesn't care. If someone is truly genuine and honest, they won't care. And they shouldn't. Just because someone had issues doesn't mean they're worth any less. It doesn't mean that they're weak. They were strong for too long and they couldn't cope anymore. Anyone with any vestige of human decency should understand that.
The claim that a girl, or any person is somehow "damaged goods" if they have scars or other such issues is one of the most terrifyingly horrible and utterly moronic ideas. People are not goods to be had. Don't worry about it. The right person will understand and those who won't aren't the people you want to be with in the first place.
I understand how it may seem, but trust me - love doesn't see scars or your past issues. It doesn't care. If someone is truly genuine and honest, they won't care. And they shouldn't. Just because someone had issues doesn't mean they're worth any less. It doesn't mean that they're weak. They were strong for too long and they couldn't cope anymore. Anyone with any vestige of human decency should understand that.
The claim that a girl, or any person is somehow "damaged goods" if they have scars or other such issues is one of the most terrifyingly horrible and utterly moronic ideas. People are not goods to be had. Don't worry about it. The right person will understand and those who won't aren't the people you want to be with in the first place.
Original post by Anonymous
Awww thanks haha :3
<3
Original post by Anonymous
Awww thanks haha :3
I don't think scars are unattractive.
A mature guy won't care.
Remember that other people don't see things in the same way. We are all our own worst critic.
I have done. I also dated a girl who was still self harming, though I was young and didn't deal with it very well at all.
Original post by GUMI
Scars are sexy
wut
Yeah probably, it wouldn't put me off if I liked you
Original post by shreddingfish92
Personally, no. I've seen family go through similar things and just don't want to deal with it in a relationship as well as at home. That being said, I hope you continue to get better.
Agree.
But op said an ex self harmer/ bulimic, so they aren't like this anymore so they aren't bringing that into the relationship. What's your answer now?
Personally I still wouldn't because I've noticed these people still have harmful tendencies.
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