caught bf doing drugs

i honestly don't know what to do. its been two days since i left the house crying. don't even ask where he got it from coz i don't even know. i really don't want to go through this with him. am 19 and i just want to focus on my education. but this is just really stressing me out. i also don't want to leave him coz i really do love him and care for him. i don't know what to do. HELP!

Reply 1

sleepysnooze

3

what drugs? alcohol? caffeine? nicotene? paracetamol? weed? mdma? speed? lsd? shrooms?
I've done all of those, some more than others, and I'm a 2:1 russell group student (not bragging because I'm sure there are better people on this forum). drugs are not dangerous if you're already a responsible person. drug addicts tend to be the people who *aren't* responsible, so the inevitable happens and people say "look what happens when people do drugs" - it's retarded

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 2

Death Grips

5

Original post by Anonymous

i honestly don't know what to do. its been two days since i left the house crying. don't even ask where he got it from coz i don't even know. i really don't want to go through this with him. am 19 and i just want to focus on my education. but this is just really stressing me out. i also don't want to leave him coz i really do love him and care for him. i don't know what to do. HELP!

What kind of drugs?

It it was weed or ecstasy, then chillax, everyone does that stuff, no need to have a heart attack.

If it was cocaine or heroin (class A hard drugs), then you might have a problem on your hands.

If you dont want to be with someone who does drugs sure, but just flagging some drugs are not as big a deal as others, and there are some drugs you can take regularly still live a normal lifestyle.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3

Axlerod

13

Original post by Anonymous

i honestly don't know what to do. its been two days since i left the house crying. don't even ask where he got it from coz i don't even know. i really don't want to go through this with him. am 19 and i just want to focus on my education. but this is just really stressing me out. i also don't want to leave him coz i really do love him and care for him. i don't know what to do. HELP!

Depends on which drugs he did; if it was something like weed it's minor but if we're taking shite like heroin then that's a different story...

Reply 4

TurboCretin

20

A university student taking drugs? We must alert the elders.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Death Grips

What kind of drugs?

It it was weed or ecstasy, then chillax, everyone does that stuff, no need to have a heart attack.

If it was cocaine or heroin (class A hard drugs), then you might have a problem on your hands.

If you dont want to be with someone who does drugs sure, but just flagging some drugs are not as big a deal as others, and there are some drugs you can take regularly still live a normal lifestyle.

yeah it was cocaine i really don't know what to do

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

it was cocaine guys

Reply 7

Eriasu

9

Original post by Anonymous

it was cocaine guys

You should stop him before things get out of hand

Reply 8

Axlerod

13

Original post by Anonymous

it was cocaine guys

😁😁😁😁😁 cocaines a heart killer; much greater risk of a heart attack after taking cocaine. Talk to him and tell him you don't want him doing it anymore. If he doesn't agree then it's your decision if you wanna stay with a crack fiend 💀

Reply 9

JamesN88

20

Cocaine for the most part is a recreational drug, if he's had the odd dabble it isn't the end of the world just make it clear that it stops as of now.

It certainly isn't on a par with Heroine which should have a class of its own IMO.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Eriasu

You should stop him before things get out of hand

i don't know how. i told my family about this and they are stopping me from seeing him. they fear he might influence me in some way. we had this sort of a problem before in my family. my cousin had a boyfriend who was a drug addict, she started taking them and they eventually died. it was tragic. they fear the same thing might happen to me. but i really want to help him but don't know how :frown:

Reply 11

AfcFob

18

Maybe give him an ultimatum? Tell him it's you or the drugs... If he carries on doing them he's not worth your time

Reply 12

Mjcal1

6

Original post by Anonymous

i don't know how. i told my family about this and they are stopping me from seeing him. they fear he might influence me in some way. we had this sort of a problem before in my family. my cousin had a boyfriend who was a drug addict, she started taking them and they eventually died. it was tragic. they fear the same thing might happen to me. but i really want to help him but don't know how :frown:

Coke.... You should give him an ultimatum imho. Tell him it's you or the drugs. If he chooses the drugs then leave him.

Unless you wanna deal with the bs

Reply 13

Thomb

14

Original post by Anonymous

it was cocaine guys

You should find pout from him whether he or the drug is in control if he's a occasional user then you have hope if not get him into re-hab. At least its not heroin. Or just stay away from him.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 14

Death Grips

5

Original post by Anonymous

yeah it was cocaine i really don't know what to do

Ok, well then if you want to help him, you need to talk to him. Ask him how he got the drugs, why he's taking drugs, has he done drugs before. Make it clear to him that you care about him and want the best for him and know what a damaging effect drugs can have on people lives.

People usually start with more minor drugs like weed and then work their way up to the harder stuff, so if you saw him doing coke, I suspect he has already been doing other drugs before he started on coke.

Also, there's a lot of research that shows people who become dependent on drugs, i.e. not just using it recreationally / at will, but actually need a regular fix, typically fall into using drugs to fill a void in their life, so if this is the case with your bf he may be using drugs to fill some other hole in his life. If so, it's important to let him know you're there for him and are someone he can talk to/open up to.

Reply 15

Eriasu

9

Original post by Anonymous

i don't know how. i told my family about this and they are stopping me from seeing him. they fear he might influence me in some way. we had this sort of a problem before in my family. my cousin had a boyfriend who was a drug addict, she started taking them and they eventually died. it was tragic. they fear the same thing might happen to me. but i really want to help him but don't know how :frown:

Whatever happens DON'T accept drugs from him, don't be pressured into doing it even if you love. Ask for professional help, try this site for example. He really needs it before he destroys his life, again whatever you do, whatever he says- even if he says he'll dump you if you don't do it, DON'T do it, it's not worth it.

I really hope it works out for you, good luck.

Reply 16

SophieSmall

21

I think you're overreacting to be honest. I mean 2 days crying because he did a line of coke? I mean I know it's not the healthiest behaviour in the world but it;'s not like he's doing heroin in back alleys in exchange for sexual favours.

And whatever you do, don't give an ultimatum unless he's an addict (and I mean an actual addict) and genuinely needs to get help. Ultimatums are not healthy in relationships and should only be used as a last resort for genuinely serious problems. You can't and have no right to tell him what he can and can't do when it has essentially no affect on you. You need to either get over the fact he does drugs every now again (if he is a recreational user) or leave him, you can't make him change for you.

Reply 17

Mjcal1

6

Original post by SophieSmall

I think you're overreacting to be honest. I mean 2 days crying because he did a line of coke? I mean I know it's not the healthiest behaviour in the world but it;'s not like he's doing heroin in back alleys in exchange for sexual favours.

And whatever you do, don't give an ultimatum unless he's an addict (and I mean an actual addict) and genuinely needs to get help. Ultimatums are not healthy in relationships and should only be used as a last resort for genuinely serious problems. You can't and have no right to tell him what he can and can't do when it has essentially no affect on you. You need to either get over the fact he does drugs every now again (if he is a recreational user) or leave him, you can't make him change for you.

I would agree if it was just weed. Even if it was, you can tell she's not comfortable with it. Imo, she shouldn't accept something she doesn't want as part of her life. Wether it's just recreational or an addiction.

Reply 18

SophieSmall

21

Original post by Mjcal1

I would agree if it was just weed. Even if it was, you can tell she's not comfortable with it. Imo, she shouldn't accept something she doesn't want as part of her life. Wether it's just recreational or an addiction.

She doesn't have to accept it, she can leave him. But she can't make him change or stop doing things because she doesn't like it unless his behaviour is negatively affecting her (like if he became abuse when drunk ect).