Family is stopping me from having sex before marriage

So just because someone reaches adulthood doesnt mean they get to ignore whatever they want legally she may be an adulthood buts its clear she has no experience or much knowledge on such matters. If her family is muslim and she is too then she knows why she isnt allowed, and how will having sex give her worth and power when in fact it will give the opposite most women will feel like this especially if its something that isnt serious. Not having sex before marriage will atleast not make her feel cheap and she has a little bit of self respect.

The irony in her statement is that she says she cant have sex before marriage so she feels the guy only wants to have sex with her.... Yet what does any other guy that goes out with op want to do exactly.... Atleast her husband wont (most likely) have sex once move on or ruin her life and make her regret something. Yes this can happen in marriage but less so then doing it at uni with no real emotional attachments

basically she'll do it in a really sly way and coerce me into a marriage

How do you find a guy who's willing to wait till marriage?

They're really clever about it, they'd never insinuate that its forced. My mum especially, shed just say so and so's son is single and has a good degree and is well off, what do you think of him? then a couple of days later shed be like have you thought anymore about it? and if i keep saying no and lets say he marries someone else shed be like i told you he was available, he wouldve married you, you've just let this opportunity go blah blah.
basically she'll do it in a really sly way and coerce me into a marriage

And my mum says other muslim guys from our culture will call me second hand goods and no one will marry me if I'm not a virgin. these kind of things really depress me because it makes me feel as if i have no worth or power in my life, as if someone is only marrying me to have sex with me. meanwhile the guy can have sex with as many girls as he wants and no one will know

So just because someone reaches adulthood doesnt mean they get to ignore whatever they want legally she may be an adulthood buts its clear she has no experience or much knowledge on such matters. If her family is muslim and she is too then she knows why she isnt allowed, and how will having sex give her worth and power when in fact it will give the opposite most women will feel like this especially if its something that isnt serious. Not having sex before marriage will atleast not make her feel cheap and she has a little bit of self respect.

The irony in her statement is that she says she cant have sex before marriage so she feels the guy only wants to have sex with her.... Yet what does any other guy that goes out with op want to do exactly.... Atleast her husband wont (most likely) have sex once move on or ruin her life and make her regret something. Yes this can happen in marriage but less so then doing it at uni with no real emotional attachments

So just because someone reaches adulthood doesnt mean they get to ignore whatever they want legally she may be an adulthood buts its clear she has no experience or much knowledge on such matters. If her family is muslim and she is too then she knows why she isnt allowed, and how will having sex give her worth and power when in fact it will give the opposite most women will feel like this especially if its something that isnt serious. Not having sex before marriage will atleast not make her feel cheap and she has a little bit of self respect.

The irony in her statement is that she says she cant have sex before marriage so she feels the guy only wants to have sex with her.... Yet what does any other guy that goes out with op want to do exactly.... Atleast her husband wont (most likely) have sex once move on or ruin her life and make her regret something. Yes this can happen in marriage but less so then doing it at uni with no real emotional attachments

stand the **** up for yourself.

don't be like 'yes i know i should have married him sorry, i'll marry the next guy sorry mummy ' - that's pathetic.

It's because my family is muslim

This is absolute bull****. I'm sorry but to suggest that relationships at university don't have meaning or value, just because they don't always last forever, is devoid of any attempt to think outside a very small mental bubble. Suggesting that women who enjoy sex have no self respect is nothing but an insult to them, and it only comes from a fundamentally sexist worldview.

Yes, some guys (and girls) want a one-night stand or to be friends-with-benefits and intentionally keep the emotion to a minimum, that's their choice and I think both parties can benefit from that kind of relationship if it's what they both want. But I was with my last girlfriend for two years at university, we're still friends now, and both of us made each other happier and better people from the companionship and experiences we gave each other. Just because we're not together anymore doesn't invalidate the benefits that the relationship gave us.

A woman's worth and power doesn't come from her virginity any more than a man's does. Confidence and experience are more important, which relationships absolutely do help to provide. Relationships and sex are fundamentally enjoyable, and just like a holiday or a nice meal, good things don't become bad just because they don't last forever.

I'm not denying that relationships don't last nor did I suggest all women feel worthless. For the first time especially at uni when most often than not.one night stand occurs it's hardly gonna leave op feeling good. And the main issue is her religion

I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you classify yourself as a muslim. If so wait after marriage.

I don't want them to find a martial partner for me. I want to find my own relationship at uni and fall in love by myself, however the guys i have liked in the past would not wait until marriage and sex is such a large part of a relationship that in the end i bet because i will have no other option, I will just end up having to marry someone my parents want me to

Look at all these Muslim guys posting on Anon trying to justify/support OP's vile mother.

What value are you adding to this... I didn't support the family in any way if you can be bothered to open your eyes and your mind and read. We're anon to stop people directing hate at us seems like you're just disappointed that you can't abuse us.