I've been dumped and feel like crap! How can I try to stay positive and happy?

I'm pretty upset, but he wasn't fulfilling my emotional needs at all, and seemed to think I was the one being out of order for asking for these things. I cared for him a lot though, and rejection hurts so fricking much.
He ended it over text after not speaking to me for ages, simply saying "I think it's best if we remain friends, i'd prefer to be on my own because i'm not ready for anything serious"... he was the one that lead me to believe he wanted something serious though. I guess he just lied and wanted to use me. :frown:

Been crying quite a bit, thinking nothing good is happening in my life. Everything's got a depressing cloud over it at the moment.
I want to get out in to the world and be happy! I hate feeling like this and dwelling on him!
Any advice?

Reply 1

It's****ingWOODY

20

"Plenty more fish in the sea" is a good phrase to go by. Particularly if she was smelly.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

hi sorry about what happened. but eventually this will feel like a stupid thing and you'd wonder why you ever cried over this. and in my opinion its best it ended sooner as you both had different ideas about where this relationship was going so its best it ended now before it ever got more serious in the future and you got more hurt. just talk to your close friends about this they will definitely cheer you up and have a laugh with them. also watch some netflix i suggest teen wolf, its so addictive i finished it all in two weeks

Reply 3

999tigger

19

Original post by RowanBoat

I'm pretty upset, but he wasn't fulfilling my emotional needs at all, and seemed to think I was the one being out of order for asking for these things. I cared for him a lot though, and rejection hurts so fricking much.
He ended it over text after not speaking to me for ages, simply saying "I think it's best if we remain friends, i'd prefer to be on my own because i'm not ready for anything serious"... he was the one that lead me to believe he wanted something serious though. I guess he just lied and wanted to use me. :frown:

Been crying quite a bit, thinking nothing good is happening in my life. Everything's got a depressing cloud over it at the moment.
I want to get out in to the world and be happy! I hate feeling like this and dwelling on him!
Any advice?

Nobody likes rejection, bit he wasnt a good match for you and couldnt make you happy. What you wnat is someone you do match with and can give you the emotional nourishment you require. he wasnt it, so why be sad about someone who didnt match you?

Stop feeling sorry for yourself or making it more dramatic than it really is. Most relationships dont work or end at some point so you need to move on. Spend a week or two moping, watch films, tv chat to friends, eat nice food etc, then move on.

Cut contact, dont feel sorrt for yourself and plan for things that you would like to happen.

Reply 4

tamil fever

20

please do not cry....do u want me to post songs that will motivate u to stay happy?

Don't worry,

Spoiler

Don't worry,try to think positively... :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 5

username1896979

13

Original post by RowanBoat

I'm pretty upset, but he wasn't fulfilling my emotional needs at all, and seemed to think I was the one being out of order for asking for these things. I cared for him a lot though, and rejection hurts so fricking much.
He ended it over text after not speaking to me for ages, simply saying "I think it's best if we remain friends, i'd prefer to be on my own because i'm not ready for anything serious"... he was the one that lead me to believe he wanted something serious though. I guess he just lied and wanted to use me. :frown:

Been crying quite a bit, thinking nothing good is happening in my life. Everything's got a depressing cloud over it at the moment.
I want to get out in to the world and be happy! I hate feeling like this and dwelling on him!
Any advice?

I broke up with me ex a year ago after he moved away and the long distance thing didn't work out. Ever since I haven't been able to find someone else even though he has moved on and has been in a relationship for over half a year now. It upsets me when I see pictures of them together but I think this is because I haven't found anyone else not because I'm still wanting him back. It just makes me feel very forgotten about and unloved and unwanted especially when the friends I have I don't feel I have anything in common with them. I'm at college in the U.K. And I've tried to find new friends but nobody seems interested in making new connections and everyone seems the same tbh obsessed with going out not working hard and getting drunk which I enjoy but it's not really what I think life's completely about . I don't feel like I can have an intelligent conversation with anyone and it makes me feel so isolated . I'm 17 and it's slowly ruining my life , I've already been diagnosed with depression over it and I don't know what to do. I just want to find someone to love me and spend time with me but I don't know where to find this person

Reply 6

RowanBoat

OP

Original post by 999tigger

Nobody likes rejection, bit he wasnt a good match for you and couldnt make you happy. What you wnat is someone you do match with and can give you the emotional nourishment you require. he wasnt it, so why be sad about someone who didnt match you?

Stop feeling sorry for yourself or making it more dramatic than it really is. Most relationships dont work or end at some point so you need to move on. Spend a week or two moping, watch films, tv chat to friends, eat nice food etc, then move on.

Cut contact, dont feel sorrt for yourself and plan for things that you would like to happen.

Ouch a bit harsh, I'm not making it more dramatic than it really is, I mean he was the first person I was intimate with. But I agree that I should make plans for things I'd like to happen, I'll try

Reply 7

SNK0

15

Best thing to do is allow yourself to be consumed by those thoughts, in stead of running away from them, meet them head on!

Lelouch Vi Britannia — 'To defeat evil, I must become a greater evil'
Batman — “to conquer fear you must become fear, you must bask in the fear of other men."

Reply 8

Futurebright17

Original post by RowanBoat

I'm pretty upset, but he wasn't fulfilling my emotional needs at all, and seemed to think I was the one being out of order for asking for these things. I cared for him a lot though, and rejection hurts so fricking much.
He ended it over text after not speaking to me for ages, simply saying "I think it's best if we remain friends, i'd prefer to be on my own because i'm not ready for anything serious"... he was the one that lead me to believe he wanted something serious though. I guess he just lied and wanted to use me. :frown:

Been crying quite a bit, thinking nothing good is happening in my life. Everything's got a depressing cloud over it at the moment.
I want to get out in to the world and be happy! I hate feeling like this and dwelling on him!
Any advice?

Takes time for me it was more anger on the wasted years I didn't really mourn the relationship I just really resented him. Try not to think of the time it will take to get over him small steps. I would suggest lots of time hanging out with friends and family plan something exciting and if anyone mentions him change the subject the day will come where you think wow he hasn't crossed my mind one bit don't worry it will happen.........

Reply 9

999tigger

19

Original post by RowanBoat

Ouch a bit harsh, I'm not making it more dramatic than it really is, I mean he was the first person I was intimate with. But I agree that I should make plans for things I'd like to happen, I'll try

I mean you arent connecting the fact with you are upset at losing someone who wasnt in fact as nice as you thought they were. That means its a lucky escape.

Reply 10

Futurebright17

Original post by halliethestudent

I broke up with me ex a year ago after he moved away and the long distance thing didn't work out. Ever since I haven't been able to find someone else even though he has moved on and has been in a relationship for over half a year now. It upsets me when I see pictures of them together but I think this is because I haven't found anyone else not because I'm still wanting him back. It just makes me feel very forgotten about and unloved and unwanted especially when the friends I have I don't feel I have anything in common with them. I'm at college in the U.K. And I've tried to find new friends but nobody seems interested in making new connections and everyone seems the same tbh obsessed with going out not working hard and getting drunk which I enjoy but it's not really what I think life's completely about . I don't feel like I can have an intelligent conversation with anyone and it makes me feel so isolated . I'm 17 and it's slowly ruining my life , I've already been diagnosed with depression over it and I don't know what to do. I just want to find someone to love me and spend time with me but I don't know where to find this person

You sound very mature for your age best thing to do is find yourself before finding someone else. Although you will be focusing on your studies have you thought about joining a society at Uni trying something new,unearthing a talent you never knew you had maybe a music playlist that gets you fired up sports the gym. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you find out what makes you happy never let a relationship be the focal point of your life you add to a relationship but you must aim to be complete before entering one that way you can move on without feeling a great sense of loss and despair take care.....

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

I'm going through a similar thing at the moment - my boyfriend and I split up a couple of weeks ago after three years, he told me he wasn't in love with me anymore. It hadn't been working for a few months - he had no respect for me, didn't care half the time and made me feel like crap - but I was still incredibly heartbroken when it happened. There's still a lot to sort out as we live together etc so it's going to be tough for a while.

For the first week I moped, cried ALL the time, spent a fortune on new clothes, watched sad films and ate my weight in Ben and Jerry's because that's what you need. If you can, remove him from social media, only text/call him if absolutely necessary and focus on yourself - do things that will help distract you from it. It really sucks, but it will get better.

Anyway, why should you be sad? You've lost him, but he's lost you, who should be crying now?

Reply 12

username1896979

13

Original post by Futurebright17

You sound very mature for your age best thing to do is find yourself before finding someone else. Although you will be focusing on your studies have you thought about joining a society at Uni trying something new,unearthing a talent you never knew you had maybe a music playlist that gets you fired up sports the gym. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you find out what makes you happy never let a relationship be the focal point of your life you add to a relationship but you must aim to be complete before entering one that way you can move on without feeling a great sense of loss and despair take care.....

thanks this was really helpful. I can't wait to get to uni and have a fresh start. still have a year of a levels left though :frown:

Reply 13

RowanBoat

OP

Original post by SNK0

Best thing to do is allow yourself to be consumed by those thoughts, in stead of running away from them, meet them head on!

Lelouch Vi Britannia — 'To defeat evil, I must become a greater evil'
Batman — “to conquer fear you must become fear, you must bask in the fear of other men."

Oh trust me I do, but it makes me feel so upset thinking about it (which, if my brain had things its way, it would think about all the time) and once I start crying over it I can't stop for ages. I really don't want to think about it too much.

Reply 14

username2861570

18

I cant really give any good advice as I've never been in a similar situation cos I've only ever had one gf which waz when I was a kid, but just know that there are plenty more guys out there and you will find the right person eventually.

Reply 15

SNK0

15

Original post by RowanBoat

Oh trust me I do, but it makes me feel so upset thinking about it (which, if my brain had things its way, it would think about all the time) and once I start crying over it I can't stop for ages. I really don't want to think about it too much.

Do you stop when it gets too much?
If yes, then don't. Keep on going until those feelings are just feelings. nothing more, nothing less.

Reply 16

Anonymous #3

Original post by halliethestudent

I broke up with me ex a year ago after he moved away and the long distance thing didn't work out. Ever since I haven't been able to find someone else even though he has moved on and has been in a relationship for over half a year now. It upsets me when I see pictures of them together but I think this is because I haven't found anyone else not because I'm still wanting him back. It just makes me feel very forgotten about and unloved and unwanted especially when the friends I have I don't feel I have anything in common with them. I'm at college in the U.K. And I've tried to find new friends but nobody seems interested in making new connections and everyone seems the same tbh obsessed with going out not working hard and getting drunk which I enjoy but it's not really what I think life's completely about . I don't feel like I can have an intelligent conversation with anyone and it makes me feel so isolated . I'm 17 and it's slowly ruining my life , I've already been diagnosed with depression over it and I don't know what to do. I just want to find someone to love me and spend time with me but I don't know where to find this person

Hey

my advice for you is to cut all contact with the guy by means of blocking him from every social media platform. When my ex and i broke up and he got with another girl i didnt block him on facebook and i would constantly go on his page and i used to think that the more i saw pictures of them together i would eventually get used to it and soon it wouldnt have an effect on me...BIG MISTAKE!!....it just made me feel worse and worse everytime......i did eventuallly block him and it worked.....i never felt like i had to go on his page and he wasnt constantly on my mind......and dont feel bad that you havent found someone and he has.....you said that your are 17......you have plenty of time!!!! :smile:

Reply 17

Lxxa14

17

Blast Beyoncé's song "Sorry" in your house and sing and dance to it

Reply 18

Futurebright17

Original post by halliethestudent

thanks this was really helpful. I can't wait to get to uni and have a fresh start. still have a year of a levels left though :frown:

I'm a mature student and I completed my access course in one year it went so fast looking back the year seemed like 4-6mths now I'm waiting for my January start I'm quite bored now! I've been preparing for Uni by decluttering the home I fixed a book shelf, desk and swivel chair for my room and I've recently bought a large canvas picture that over looks my desk for inspiration! You'll be so busy towards the end of your A-levels everything will be a blur! Good luck with your studies!