Post anonymously something you want to get off your chest

I've reached my lowest of lows recently. I'm still here, but I'm losing the will to fight. Thank you for caring though.

I've reached my lowest of lows recently. I'm still here, but I'm losing the will to fight. Thank you for caring though.

If you want to talk, there's alot of people out here that care. Keep fighting, okay?

I hate myself because I get too carried away. I feel surges of emotion and I can’t control them and its horrible. I know I need love desperately and I know I give too much to people and I know I frighten them off. I seem happy, fun-loving, confident and exuberant and passionate but honestly, sometimes it feels like inside I’m dying. I know I can come across aggressive and over the top but that’s because I have a lot of anger inside of me. I wish i didn't have this constant need for attention and affection that is never fulfilled. I feel so empty. i don't know how human relationships really work, I don't know how to be normal.

I feel like the person who its impossible to love, it’s like I have a red sign over my head saying don’t love me.
I was taught how to think negatively about myself and the world from a young age and now those thought patterns are so deep engrained it’s really hard to change them. I try but I can’t. I feel like this useless person.

I act like the most confident person in the room, because the only way I know out of my darkness is to act, to pretend like everything’s amazing, and to throw love at people, but when they reject me I feel it so much. I’m so scared of being abandoned by people and I just want someone to call my own. Deep down I’m not confident at all, I think i’m ugly and unloveable. I wish someone would admire me because I don’t admire myself. My self esteem can be horribly low and I hate that I often think i’m useless. I feel like my parents messed me up and they don’t even realize how. I feel broken. I want to be loved desperately but every time I try it goes wrong. I just need some kind of stability because my sense of myself is so shifting, but I mess up every time I get close to someone. I wish people could really see how sad I am, and see past my front. maybe they’d treat me differently then.

Dear everyone

You think having abortion is easy. I dont want to but have to. Need to. Why? Idk.
I just sat poking them, they feel me, i feel them. They move. How can i just kill them, aren't i killing myself too? I don't have the heart but have to obey to my mind.
But in all honesty i love them to much for that
I'll just have to be heartless for a bit...

I got my A Level results and I got 3As. I feel really disappointed but conflicted at the same time. I got into my first choice uni, but I was predicted 2A*s and an A which meant I dropped 2 grades. I know I'm being ungrateful because I am really happy to start uni in September, but I can't help feeling like I didn't achieve my full potential. Also doesn't help that all my friends got A*s. I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THINKING THIS and I know I'm being idiotic especially considering I was extremely down and unmotivated during exams, I just wish I could try again UGH

I was rejected a lot during the uni application process in y13, and it definitely took a toll on my mental health. From January until the end of exams in June i experienced extremely low moods and basically felt numb the entire time. All I remember thinking during exams was that I felt like I wasn't in my body. That sounds weird but it's like I couldn't control it consciously, even during revision I found it incredibly hard to focus and had to read things multiple times to understand them which never used to happen before. I guess the thing that I am most worried about is that I will remain unhappy and not get through uni. If I'm still depressed I really don't think I could get through it but I don't know how to ask for help. I also kinda feel annoyed at myself for not being motivated even though at the time I literally couldn't get myself out of bed. I guess, most people, after facing rejection, are able to get up again and achieve even better than previously expected. But Ive realised I'm not one of those people. After I was rejected so many times I started to believe I actually wasn't worthy of recieving my predicted grades and basically gave up. And I'm really annoyed at myself for that.
I know this is a dumb problem, feels so silly writing it all out but I also just had to put it somewhere cause I haven't been able to say it to anyone.

I think I'm developing a crush on a guy who is openly gay ... well that sucks

I'm so lonely all the time, I can't connect with anyone. I throw myself at anyone who's vaguely interested and I scare them away.
I'm not even a bad looking girl, but my personality must be so repulsive that no one can bear to spend any time with me.
I make myself sexually available just to feel some kind of affection from someone

Just try and resist doing that. Be friendly and approachable to guys without being "easy" and make sure you're choosing them more carefully and establishing what they really want from you

I try and cut out guys who are only interested in sex, and it works for a while, but then I'll have a really lonely night where I'm bawling in bed coz I need a friend so badly, and I'll cave. Then I wake up the next morning feeling ashamed of myself

My depression is getting worse and I've pushed away everyone I love and care about because I feel like too much of a burden to them. I'm incredibly lonely.

I'm mentally unwell w a lot of issues but bc i'm young I'm not taken seriously. I have 1 friend (i'm 17) and I'm incredibly lonely, i've been passively suicidal for about a month now. Loneliness is the worst feeling, i've recently realised.