Sex drive; which of us is being unreasonable?

You're essentially asking which is more important - a healthy mind or a healthy sex life - well sweetheart having no sexlife won't drive you to suicide but being in a bad mental state will. So clearly your health is far more important and anyone asking you to jeopardise that is a ****

Having said that - sex is a big deal to a lot of people, men and women alike. And of course its important for both parties to be satisfied. Ideally it wouldn't be in the best interest of either for them to remain together if both are feeling completely unfulfilled. Let me clarify that I am in no way implying that this is your fault! this is just sadly how it is and whilst you might love your partner, expecting him/her to remain in a sexless relationship is a little unfair on them. I'm not saying get off your med, but if there is no change then you might have to be prepared to let them go.

I would choose to go off the meds rather than lose her.

don't be a plank

We've been together for 10 years. It's not like I'm 18 and "in love" with a girl I've known for 2 months. I didn't realise until I made this thread how important sex is to women.

Thanks for the detailed response.

What you've said is pretty worrying, ngl. We've been together for a little over 10 years and she has always told me to take the meds and been very supportive so it's such a huge change for her to tell me to tell my psychiatrist that I want to switch drug when it's working so well. Obviously I enjoy sex a lot but I also enjoy other types of sexual release so I find it interesting and, very surprising, that you say - for you at least - other things just don't do it. That just makes me feel even worse about the situation tbh. (sorry, not blaming you, I really appreciate your honesty)

Yes you're selfish. You're not even willing to try. It has to be your way only.

My psychiatrist refused to even recognise that this problem is drug-induced so not sure how I'd get either of those but I'll have to look into it. A big part of the problem is that I just don't feel anything from anything; it's not just that the equipment doesn't function it's that I couldn't really care anyway. I feel like such a terrible boyfriend saying that It's really hard to explain. I know I'm attracted to her I just don't feel it right now. And I know it's not just her, I've tried porn and even like looking at other women who previously I would find very attractive but there's absolutely no reaction.

But I see what you're saying about intimacy, I think I was underestimating how important that is - it's something Doodle mentioned too.

Yes you're selfish. You're not even willing to try. It has to be your way only.