Hey so I'm just having trouble sleeping and this is really bugging me.
I was recently diagnosed as autistic, and I'm first year undergraduate, living in halls, and I want to work out the best way to explain to my flatmates that I'm not being rude / antisocial, it's just sometimes I'm blunt / stand-off-ish / don't like to be touched / get sensory overloads / don't know what to say in silences because I'm autistic. I've said it kind of off the cuff in a jokey way, but I want them to understand me, because I really like them all, but sometimes I feel kind of eggy after talking to them, like I made a faux pas or something. I just don't know how to explain the things that I struggle with without sounding like a victim / really negative / attention seeking. It also makes me really tired because I really have to think carefully and get really anxious around them because I want them to like me because I really like them. I have some pretty deep issues besides the whole autism thing (lots of family stuff, mental health stuff, bullying, self-esteem, you name it, the usual crap), and I don't want people to be put off me just because I'm quite complicated??
It just gets me really down that I can't seem to get it right with them. I feel like if they understood what I struggle with they'd understand my behaviour better.
I really struggle with personal relationships, so I really value the ones I have, and I want to be good friends with these people.
This probably sounds pathetic but it's 2am and I can't sleep, and was wondering how other people explain autism to people who probably have very little idea about what it entails?
Also on anon cos I'm p embarrassed about this, because I always knew I was kind of autistic, but I thought it was just mild, but they said I fit the Aspergers profile so... Basically I'm just hyper aware of everything I do now and it's a difficult time anyway, starting afresh, meeting new people. I just have no confidence.