reaching out to ex who ghosted you

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few months. We were still in the honeymoon phase e.g. no arguments, going out all the time, everything was perfect. One night we had an argument (which I thought was resolved), only for him to ghost me after that and never speak to me again. I was heartbroken. He was ignoring all my calls, texts etc. He'd read the texts and not reply, and he kept me on all social media and didn't even block me despite how many times I called out of concern.

A month ago, I sent him a RANT of texts (not proud!) telling him his behaviour was disgusting and inexcusable, that I deserved an explanation at least and I respected him more than this. It was quite a mature rant, no swearing or curse words. Sometimes I feel like texting him and just apologizing for what I said, how I don't want to hold a grudge and the guilt ate away at me, so I'm apologizing now bc better late than never.

Is this a stupid move, or appropriate?

Are you likely to regret apologizing now if he doesn't respond to you?

I'd have done the same. He is being an idiot. If I were you I'd think about moving on now. He clearly wants to act like a kid so let him, but it doesn't mean you need to stop your life or act the same way.

I'm glad you agree. Honestly my apology is my way of making him feel less cautious and intimidated by me, so he can respond and perhaps explain why he just left out of nowhere. When I ranted to him, I called him out for all of his mistakes, I didn't beg, plead or even apologize. I told him the truth about how immaturely and disrespectfully he's behaving, and how he won't even give me the decency of an explanation etc. He can't even argue with it.

Do you think maybe because he didn't block you it was his way of telling you he will be ready to speak at some point but not right now?

yes my gut feeling actually says that, then there's how he didn't officially break up with me which could be him 'leaving the door open for a reconciliation'. I was expecting to be blocked because I was calling him daily for a week, and texting him asking where he was, why he wasn't speaking to me, why he was angry with me etc. If he genuinely wanted to cut ties and I was annoying him, he'd block future contact. Instead he'd read all the texts I'd send, and he kept me on Instagram, Facebook etc weeks after ceasing contact. I don't know, but when I'm avoiding someone.. the last thing I'd do is read their message, I'd avoid clicking on their messages like the plague unless I was interested in what they had to say.

The other truth is I never stopped missing him. He made me so happy, and we had it so good, he had me thinking about our future all the time. Since he left, it feels like something is missing and I think about him all the time because of how in love with him I was

What is ghosted?

I think there is something wrong with him. I believe it is much more than immaturity , he enjoys watching you suffering, that's why he doesn't block you on social media. There is a specific terminology for situations like this. If I were you I would google "devaluation phase", "narcisistic supply" and perhaps borderline personality traits. People who have experienced similar situations can only find peace with "the grey rock technique".
Your craving for his love (which isn't really love, it is called love bombing) feeds him emotionally.
Take distance and when your emotions are settled work on yourself. You probably are the type who is "too good" and attrackts abusive people.
Sorry if I shocked you with this.

You shouldn't be with someone who ghosts you after an argument. Would you want someone like that in the long run? What happens if you fall out again? Not worth the emotional investment, walk away.

What was the argument that you had with him about? I feel you are playing down your role in the events that lead him not to speak to you. If that is the case your actions will only compound problems and keep him from talking to you.