I think my boyfriends friend likes him?
My boyfriends friend (lets call her catty) has been a huge strain on our relationship. She constantly crosses boundaries and wouldnt understand why shes not allowed to do so.
She **** on me during our first argument. She slept in his bed while alone in the house. She called me abusive and told him to break up with me. She would go into his room, under the covers, with the door closed. They went on a pseudo date on her birthday. And once we have another argument, she calls me abusive, controlling, disrespectful, and implies that he should break up with me.
I yell at her for this and demand an apology because these things happen every time he sees her, she'll hang off his arm and act like his girlfriend.
Im told she wont apologize until i apologize. I refuse because ive been dealing with a lot of distrust and pain for over a year. She doesn't explain why she wont apologize, she just says she wont.
She purposely disrespects me, yall.
Im starting to think she likes him because shes acting like an ex girlfriend would.. I cant think of any other reason she would refuse to apologize for being such a strain on our relationship. or why she would keep on telling him im abusive and should be broken up with.
what do you guys think? do you think she has feelings for him or is it something else?
She **** on me during our first argument. She slept in his bed while alone in the house. She called me abusive and told him to break up with me. She would go into his room, under the covers, with the door closed. They went on a pseudo date on her birthday. And once we have another argument, she calls me abusive, controlling, disrespectful, and implies that he should break up with me.
I yell at her for this and demand an apology because these things happen every time he sees her, she'll hang off his arm and act like his girlfriend.
Im told she wont apologize until i apologize. I refuse because ive been dealing with a lot of distrust and pain for over a year. She doesn't explain why she wont apologize, she just says she wont.
She purposely disrespects me, yall.
Im starting to think she likes him because shes acting like an ex girlfriend would.. I cant think of any other reason she would refuse to apologize for being such a strain on our relationship. or why she would keep on telling him im abusive and should be broken up with.
what do you guys think? do you think she has feelings for him or is it something else?
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who remembers when drama was cool? petrege farm remembers.
seriously, I think your making a big deal out of something that could be sorted out in a civil manner.
I'm not one to judge but if your constantly fighting with your boyfriend then maybe it's time to wake up and realise your not meant to be. relationships are built on trust and friendship usually.. and if you can't be friends with the person your dating, you won't get on.
as for his friend, I think she's just trying to antagonize you and make you mad. I wouldn't really worry about it. I'm a pasty white dude though so I don't really have this drama to deal with.
seriously, I think your making a big deal out of something that could be sorted out in a civil manner.
I'm not one to judge but if your constantly fighting with your boyfriend then maybe it's time to wake up and realise your not meant to be. relationships are built on trust and friendship usually.. and if you can't be friends with the person your dating, you won't get on.
as for his friend, I think she's just trying to antagonize you and make you mad. I wouldn't really worry about it. I'm a pasty white dude though so I don't really have this drama to deal with.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by kiribolo
My boyfriends friend (lets call her catty) has been a huge strain on our relationship. She constantly crosses boundaries and wouldnt understand why shes not allowed to do so.
She **** on me during our first argument. She slept in his bed while alone in the house. She called me abusive and told him to break up with me. She would go into his room, under the covers, with the door closed. They went on a pseudo date on her birthday. And once we have another argument, she calls me abusive, controlling, disrespectful, and implies that he should break up with me.
I yell at her for this and demand an apology because these things happen every time he sees her, she'll hang off his arm and act like his girlfriend.
Im told she wont apologize until i apologize. I refuse because ive been dealing with a lot of distrust and pain for over a year. She doesn't explain why she wont apologize, she just says she wont.
She purposely disrespects me, yall.
Im starting to think she likes him because shes acting like an ex girlfriend would.. I cant think of any other reason she would refuse to apologize for being such a strain on our relationship. or why she would keep on telling him im abusive and should be broken up with.
what do you guys think? do you think she has feelings for him or is it something else?
She **** on me during our first argument. She slept in his bed while alone in the house. She called me abusive and told him to break up with me. She would go into his room, under the covers, with the door closed. They went on a pseudo date on her birthday. And once we have another argument, she calls me abusive, controlling, disrespectful, and implies that he should break up with me.
I yell at her for this and demand an apology because these things happen every time he sees her, she'll hang off his arm and act like his girlfriend.
Im told she wont apologize until i apologize. I refuse because ive been dealing with a lot of distrust and pain for over a year. She doesn't explain why she wont apologize, she just says she wont.
She purposely disrespects me, yall.
Im starting to think she likes him because shes acting like an ex girlfriend would.. I cant think of any other reason she would refuse to apologize for being such a strain on our relationship. or why she would keep on telling him im abusive and should be broken up with.
what do you guys think? do you think she has feelings for him or is it something else?
Why dont you tell him to grow a pair of balls and tell her to do one.............
Pseudo date is the part that stands out to me, what even is that. Were you there with them or were they alone? If they were alone, your boyfriend needs to reassess himself. Or you need to reassess your boyfriend, whichever one.
By the way she treats you, your boyfriend honestly should've cut ties with her some time ago. Hanging onto his arm is, in most cases, largely inappropriate when he's got a girlfriend. Couple that with the fact that she keeps convincing him to break up with you, she definitely likes him. What are his reactions to the things she says? Why is he still keeping her around? Have you spoken to him about this? Communication will be the key here, so let him know exactly how you feel about her and take it from there.
By the way she treats you, your boyfriend honestly should've cut ties with her some time ago. Hanging onto his arm is, in most cases, largely inappropriate when he's got a girlfriend. Couple that with the fact that she keeps convincing him to break up with you, she definitely likes him. What are his reactions to the things she says? Why is he still keeping her around? Have you spoken to him about this? Communication will be the key here, so let him know exactly how you feel about her and take it from there.
Original post by Zuruaua
Pseudo date is the part that stands out to me, what even is that. Were you there with them or were they alone? If they were alone, your boyfriend needs to reassess himself. Or you need to reassess your boyfriend, whichever one.
By the way she treats you, your boyfriend honestly should've cut ties with her some time ago. Hanging onto his arm is, in most cases, largely inappropriate when he's got a girlfriend. Couple that with the fact that she keeps convincing him to break up with you, she definitely likes him. What are his reactions to the things she says? Why is he still keeping her around? Have you spoken to him about this? Communication will be the key here, so let him know exactly how you feel about her and take it from there.
By the way she treats you, your boyfriend honestly should've cut ties with her some time ago. Hanging onto his arm is, in most cases, largely inappropriate when he's got a girlfriend. Couple that with the fact that she keeps convincing him to break up with you, she definitely likes him. What are his reactions to the things she says? Why is he still keeping her around? Have you spoken to him about this? Communication will be the key here, so let him know exactly how you feel about her and take it from there.
yeah ive told him about it, i wasnt there he went with her alone. he told me after that apparently her parents were there but tbh i dont know if thats true. he gets defensive and makes me feel like **** for bringing it up. he always defends her. ive spoken to him about it every time it happens. ive told him after a two day long argument because he didnt start listening until i told him i didnt feel loved. i dont know how he reacts. the second time she complained about me, he defended her and said "how can you expect me to defend you when you made me feel like ****"
i dont know why hes keeping her around. i guess its cuz shes his childhood friend
Original post by Mr smile
Why dont you tell him to grow a pair of balls and tell her to do one.............
i dont understand, one what?
Original post by Centurion_Sam
who remembers when drama was cool? petrege farm remembers.
seriously, I think your making a big deal out of something that could be sorted out in a civil manner.
I'm not one to judge but if your constantly fighting with your boyfriend then maybe it's time to wake up and realise your not meant to be. relationships are built on trust and friendship usually.. and if you can't be friends with the person your dating, you won't get on.
as for his friend, I think she's just trying to antagonize you and make you mad. I wouldn't really worry about it. I'm a pasty white dude though so I don't really have this drama to deal with.
seriously, I think your making a big deal out of something that could be sorted out in a civil manner.
I'm not one to judge but if your constantly fighting with your boyfriend then maybe it's time to wake up and realise your not meant to be. relationships are built on trust and friendship usually.. and if you can't be friends with the person your dating, you won't get on.
as for his friend, I think she's just trying to antagonize you and make you mad. I wouldn't really worry about it. I'm a pasty white dude though so I don't really have this drama to deal with.
ive tried to talk about it calmly, id tell him i dont feel comfortable with these things but hed just yell at me. he wont listen until weeks later. once he listens he says he understands but it keeps happening. thats kinda why i made a big deal out of it. this has been going on for a year now. hell see her, shell do something to disrespect me, hell defend her and tell me to move on because he doesnt think it was disrespectful.
Original post by kiribolo
ive tried to talk about it calmly, id tell him i dont feel comfortable with these things but hed just yell at me. He wont listen until weeks later. Once he listens he says he understands but it keeps happening. Thats kinda why i made a big deal out of it. This has been going on for a year now. Hell see her, shell do something to disrespect me, hell defend her and tell me to move on because he doesnt think it was disrespectful.
then maybe its time to move on and see th bigger picture.
Move on, your better than that.
Don't need that in your life.
Don't need that in your life.
Right, there are a few situations that could be the case here..
1) You're overreacting and imagining things that aren't really there
2) Your boyfriend doesn't realise what she's actually doing, because he genuinely sees her as a friend and nothing more
3) She doesn't see what she's doing for the same reason as above
4) She is a complete psycho
5) Your boyfriend actually likes her so he's happy to let this behaviour go on
The point is, to me, I wouldn't want my boyfriend being friends with someone who acted like that, and kept telling him that the two of us should split up. However, we are very happy together so I can't see that being a problem - whereas it sounds like you and your boyfriend fight a lot, so are you sure you are definitely right for each other?
If this girl is upsetting you, and your boyfriend knows this and lets the behaviour carry on (assuming it is out of order as you say) then is he the guy you want to be with? If he hasn't spoken to her about how she's acting then doesn't that speak volumes?
I'm just putting my thoughts into words to give you something to think about. I hope it helps.
1) You're overreacting and imagining things that aren't really there
2) Your boyfriend doesn't realise what she's actually doing, because he genuinely sees her as a friend and nothing more
3) She doesn't see what she's doing for the same reason as above
4) She is a complete psycho
5) Your boyfriend actually likes her so he's happy to let this behaviour go on
The point is, to me, I wouldn't want my boyfriend being friends with someone who acted like that, and kept telling him that the two of us should split up. However, we are very happy together so I can't see that being a problem - whereas it sounds like you and your boyfriend fight a lot, so are you sure you are definitely right for each other?
If this girl is upsetting you, and your boyfriend knows this and lets the behaviour carry on (assuming it is out of order as you say) then is he the guy you want to be with? If he hasn't spoken to her about how she's acting then doesn't that speak volumes?
I'm just putting my thoughts into words to give you something to think about. I hope it helps.
If he is this easy to 'steal', and the relationship is that insecure that you take to social media to try and fix it - you are better off without each other.
God, this is like reading a post from my former self.
Honestly, leave him. I know it's not nice when other people say that and that you have feelings for him and the relationship is more complicated than this post but... this man doesn't respect you. He's continually allowing this girl to cross objective boundaries without any consideration of your feelings and is then gas lighting you when you raise valid concerns.
He sounds like a real **** bag and if he's treating you like this now, it's not a problem that's gonna disappear at any point. He's gonna continue to mess you around and at some point you'll hit breaking point. I went through a similar thing in my first relationship and it had a massive impact on my mental health. I got to the point where I felt so dependent on him but so miserable when we were together and I was just being hurt over and over again by his relationship with this other woman. In the end he dumped me because he couldn't "take any more" of me being upset at him being a scumbag.
Dump him, make him realise what an ass he's been, and go back to enjoying life without petty drama and people who don't respect you.
Honestly, leave him. I know it's not nice when other people say that and that you have feelings for him and the relationship is more complicated than this post but... this man doesn't respect you. He's continually allowing this girl to cross objective boundaries without any consideration of your feelings and is then gas lighting you when you raise valid concerns.
He sounds like a real **** bag and if he's treating you like this now, it's not a problem that's gonna disappear at any point. He's gonna continue to mess you around and at some point you'll hit breaking point. I went through a similar thing in my first relationship and it had a massive impact on my mental health. I got to the point where I felt so dependent on him but so miserable when we were together and I was just being hurt over and over again by his relationship with this other woman. In the end he dumped me because he couldn't "take any more" of me being upset at him being a scumbag.
Dump him, make him realise what an ass he's been, and go back to enjoying life without petty drama and people who don't respect you.
Original post by kiribolo
yeah ive told him about it, i wasnt there he went with her alone. he told me after that apparently her parents were there but tbh i dont know if thats true. he gets defensive and makes me feel like **** for bringing it up. he always defends her. ive spoken to him about it every time it happens. ive told him after a two day long argument because he didnt start listening until i told him i didnt feel loved. i dont know how he reacts. the second time she complained about me, he defended her and said "how can you expect me to defend you when you made me feel like ****"
i dont know why hes keeping her around. i guess its cuz shes his childhood friend
i dont know why hes keeping her around. i guess its cuz shes his childhood friend
Sounds like it's time to let him go. He's not there for you when you need him, instead he's there for her. Once you leave him I'm sure you'll find he and her will get together straight away, don't be hurt by this. Do yourself a favour and end it now, you deserve better.
Definitely, I think you should stop being friends with her. Thats such a weird way to act especially her being your friend and all she should be taking your side
Original post by ES448343459
Definitely, I think you should stop being friends with her. Thats such a weird way to act especially her being your friend and all she should be taking your side
Did you read the post or any of the messages? It's not OP's friend, it's her boyfriend's friend.
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
Right, there are a few situations that could be the case here..
1) You're overreacting and imagining things that aren't really there
2) Your boyfriend doesn't realise what she's actually doing, because he genuinely sees her as a friend and nothing more
3) She doesn't see what she's doing for the same reason as above
4) She is a complete psycho
5) Your boyfriend actually likes her so he's happy to let this behaviour go on
The point is, to me, I wouldn't want my boyfriend being friends with someone who acted like that, and kept telling him that the two of us should split up. However, we are very happy together so I can't see that being a problem - whereas it sounds like you and your boyfriend fight a lot, so are you sure you are definitely right for each other?
If this girl is upsetting you, and your boyfriend knows this and lets the behaviour carry on (assuming it is out of order as you say) then is he the guy you want to be with? If he hasn't spoken to her about how she's acting then doesn't that speak volumes?
I'm just putting my thoughts into words to give you something to think about. I hope it helps.
1) You're overreacting and imagining things that aren't really there
2) Your boyfriend doesn't realise what she's actually doing, because he genuinely sees her as a friend and nothing more
3) She doesn't see what she's doing for the same reason as above
4) She is a complete psycho
5) Your boyfriend actually likes her so he's happy to let this behaviour go on
The point is, to me, I wouldn't want my boyfriend being friends with someone who acted like that, and kept telling him that the two of us should split up. However, we are very happy together so I can't see that being a problem - whereas it sounds like you and your boyfriend fight a lot, so are you sure you are definitely right for each other?
If this girl is upsetting you, and your boyfriend knows this and lets the behaviour carry on (assuming it is out of order as you say) then is he the guy you want to be with? If he hasn't spoken to her about how she's acting then doesn't that speak volumes?
I'm just putting my thoughts into words to give you something to think about. I hope it helps.
i genuinely dont want him to stay friends with her.. but i dont want to seem controlling or abusive. hes trying to fix things now and hes changing things with her so its progress and i think itll go well. but ive made it clear that the next time she treats me like that, he cant see her anymore. yes it does speak volumes. it does help a lot. i think were right for each other because besides this, hes very good at listening to me and making changes. for some reason the issues only arise when shes a part of the picture
Original post by ES448343459
Definitely, I think you should stop being friends with her. Thats such a weird way to act especially her being your friend and all she should be taking your side
catty is my boyfriends friend, thankfully shes not mine. shes disrespectful as a whole. if she was my friend i wouldve dropped her after a week.
Original post by squeakypop
God, this is like reading a post from my former self.
Honestly, leave him. I know it's not nice when other people say that and that you have feelings for him and the relationship is more complicated than this post but... this man doesn't respect you. He's continually allowing this girl to cross objective boundaries without any consideration of your feelings and is then gas lighting you when you raise valid concerns.
He sounds like a real **** bag and if he's treating you like this now, it's not a problem that's gonna disappear at any point. He's gonna continue to mess you around and at some point you'll hit breaking point. I went through a similar thing in my first relationship and it had a massive impact on my mental health. I got to the point where I felt so dependent on him but so miserable when we were together and I was just being hurt over and over again by his relationship with this other woman. In the end he dumped me because he couldn't "take any more" of me being upset at him being a scumbag.
Dump him, make him realise what an ass he's been, and go back to enjoying life without petty drama and people who don't respect you.
Honestly, leave him. I know it's not nice when other people say that and that you have feelings for him and the relationship is more complicated than this post but... this man doesn't respect you. He's continually allowing this girl to cross objective boundaries without any consideration of your feelings and is then gas lighting you when you raise valid concerns.
He sounds like a real **** bag and if he's treating you like this now, it's not a problem that's gonna disappear at any point. He's gonna continue to mess you around and at some point you'll hit breaking point. I went through a similar thing in my first relationship and it had a massive impact on my mental health. I got to the point where I felt so dependent on him but so miserable when we were together and I was just being hurt over and over again by his relationship with this other woman. In the end he dumped me because he couldn't "take any more" of me being upset at him being a scumbag.
Dump him, make him realise what an ass he's been, and go back to enjoying life without petty drama and people who don't respect you.
i know where youre coming from and i dont know if its because im looking at my situation through rose colored glasses, but i dont think hes that bad. i mean whenever we have an issue outside of this, we work it out properly and talk properly. he makes changes when he needs to and he treats me so well. its just that when this girl is involved, that all goes away. i honestly dont want her around anymore.. i never wanted her around in the first place. but i dont want to control him. i dont want to alienate him out of his group of friends at all. this is his childhood friend whos unfortunately just as embedded in their "childhood friend" circle as he is. i dont want to risk him losing the few friends he has
Original post by kiribolo
i genuinely dont want him to stay friends with her.. but i dont want to seem controlling or abusive. hes trying to fix things now and hes changing things with her so its progress and i think itll go well. but ive made it clear that the next time she treats me like that, he cant see her anymore. yes it does speak volumes. it does help a lot. i think were right for each other because besides this, hes very good at listening to me and making changes. for some reason the issues only arise when shes a part of the picture
Well I know that feeling. There was someone like that when my boyfriend and I got together and in the end I had to say you're either friends with her or going out with me, it can't be both. I didn't pressure him into a choice as such, but he knew what I'd do. But she was texting him saying how she wanted to be with him and how she loved him, and how they would make a good couple etc. So she was actively trying to get him from me which I thought was unfair. But he hasn't spoken to her for almost a year now and things are much better between the two of us.
Tell him that she makes you feel uncomfortable, she’s rude to you and the way she acts is completely unacceptable (linking with his arm) etc and that you think it’s better for your relationship if he takes a step back from her. If he continues to be friends with her then it’s clear that she’s his priority and it’s time to say “boiii byeee”
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