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I cheated, should I tell?

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If you want to break up with her, then tell her. If you want to stay together then don't.

This is all backwards.

If you want to stay together, you should tell her, for two reasons. First, it's a matter of integrity: what does it say about you if you allegedly care enough about her to want to stay with her, yet you don't respect her enough to tell her the truth about something that goes to the very foundation of the relationship and let her make an informed decision about whether she wants to stay with you? Second, if you don't tell her, you will spend the rest of your time together worrying that she will find out.

If you insist on not telling her, then the decent thing would be to break off the relationship so as not to prolong the deception.

Reply 21

Britishgirl2003

Tell her man, 100%! the truth always gets out
better from you then someone else

Reply 22

Molseh

What someone doesn't know cant hurt them...

Unless you got an STD

Reply 23

ZombieTheWolf

Um why are you speaking like being on drugs or drunk is an excuse to cheat on someone cause it literally isn't

there's so much terrible relationship advice on here, I wouldn't be surprised if half the people here were 12

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 24

Charles III

You need to tell her. I'm sorry, but you have no excuse and you being intoxicated does not make you any less guilty of cheating. You still did it, own up to it.

Reply 25

monkeyman0121

Tell her. Think of it like the other way around, would you prefer her telling you she cheated as soon as she could since the actual cheating or would you prefer someone telling you half a year later, ruining all of the built up trust and love. (Either way she will lose confidence and trust in you and good luck getting that back because it will either never happen or will take years.)

Reply 26

ZombieTheWolf

Original post by Paracosm

You need to tell her. I'm sorry, but you have no excuse and you being intoxicated does not make you any less guilty of cheating. You still did it, own up to it.

Literally. She's a human being who deserves to be told, how can someone have so little respect and empathy as to not only cheat but also to not tell that person. It's so selfish.

Reply 27

Anonymous #8

You need to tell, it's better to have the truth out then see her everyday and fell guilty. Don't be selfish

Reply 28

yoadzgreen

Subconsciously you made the decision to even engage in that kind of activity with the other person. Maybe you need to start questioning whether being with your girlfriend is truly what you want.

Reply 29

Ravenna

Do you have a guilty conscience. If so you probably should. What is it with cheating around here?
:frown:

Reply 30

UWS

Original post by Anonymous

I know it will never happen again.

That's what they all say. You didn't think of that when you were jamming your bits in her.

Reply 31

Anonymous #9

It depends on the path you want to take, if you want a relationship built on honesty and trust, tell her, give her time to think about it and ask to rebuild the relationship.

Your other option is to not tell her, in fact forget it ever happened. If someone accuses you, unless they have hard evidence, or support from someone your gf trusts, deny it, deny it, DENY IT. Get yourself checked and make sure you don't give anything to her.

Reply 32

Lefin

Yes, you should tell her. End of.

Reply 33

Anonymous #1

Thank you for your advice, I told her.

Reply 34

Anonymous #5

Okay we have to know what happened now...an update perhaps?

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Okay we have to know what happened now...an update perhaps?

It’s was messy, really messy. We are going to try and take things slowly and see how’s it goes, but I don’t think she’ll trully be able to.

Reply 36

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

It’s was messy, really messy. We are going to try and take things slowly and see how’s it goes, but I don’t think she’ll trully be able to.

Exactly. Thats why you should not have told her! It solved nothing at all and just made sure that you will not be in a trusting relationship. You should have just called things off and learned from your mistakes without letting her feel cheated!

Reply 37

juliathegay

I would absolutely advise you to tell her and then leave her be for a while to decide what to do, if you want to still continue the relationship. If she gets mad and hates you - that’s good, it means she cares and loves you. Perhaps she will give you another chance and forgive you and even admire your honesty. Don’t be a cheat mate, it’s not worth it.

Reply 38

Anonymous #11

did you tell her in the end?

Reply 39

Jennyharperr

Honestly, if you think about it there are going to be a lot of times in your life where you are at parties and off your head. You probably never had the intention in cheating in the first place which means you can’t predict if it’s going to happen again. I know you would hate to see her upset but maybe it’s best to make her a little upset rather than her finding out or you doing it more than once which will cause her way more hurt. Is it worth the risk of hurting her more in the long run?