So me and my gf had a big argument last week. So we met up the other day to clear the air so to speak but I feel like it’s got me nowhere. When we met up I straight away apologised for if what I’d said and done annoyed her. Once I made my point I let her say what she wanted but straight away she was just angry, confrontational and swearing and shouting at me in public. I’m one of these people that believes if you have to resort to shouting and swearing then you can’t get your point across.
Whenever she’d say anything to me that how I’d made her feel recently I’d listen, apologise and take on board what she’d said and then give her answer that showed why I did what I did. But then if I gave her examples of something she’d done she’d either interrupt me by shouting and swearing or after I’d finished she’d just shrug her shoulders and not say anything which suggests she wasn’t listening or wouldn’t want to admit her faults.
This is an example of what happened. So just a bit of background information, my nan is 90 years old and lives on her own. She is riddled with arthritis and the furthest she can physically walk is to her bedroom which is about 15 metres but she needs a Zimmer frame to do that. She can’t even make herself a piece of toast in the kitchen. So my gf said that I make her feel second best sometimes, I asked her to give me an example and she said “you’re always at your nan’s beck and call if she needs help, you need to stop volunteering to help.” I listened to that and said I’m sorry if I made her feel that way but my nan has home care 4 times a day to help her but for example a few weeks ago her home care didn’t turn up to help her with her dinner. So I went down to do it, it was the best thing at the time that I go and do it because my mum who is her primary care giver was at the supermarket, my dad was in a meeting at work, both my sisters were at work and my brother in law was at home looking after his child so it made most sense that I went and made her dinner because I was best placed to do it. When I told her that she just shrugged her shoulders and didn’t say anything. It was as though I have her a good counter argument and she knows it but doesn’t want to admit she’s wrong.
I feel as though she is the one who always has to be right and this relationship is starting to become toxic.