First time sex

So I tried to have sex with my boyfriend today. But his penis wouldn't enter. He tried with his fingers but only one went in. I was very wet but it still wouldn't enter. Also when he tried with his finger it burned a little.
We even tried in the shower but it still didn't work.
I really want to have sex with him tho. Can someone tell me what the problem is?

Reply 1

annabel_39

15

omg this is so crazy that this problem has come up on my feed because i’m kinda having the same problem.

can you use tampons? because if you can, that’s a starting point. i think it could be your hymen, where there’s a big enough hole for his finger (just) but not big enough to fit the actual penis in?
with me, i literally cant even fit a tampon or a finger and i’m a virgin, utterly TERRIFIED for my first time.

i would say to keep trying, maybe make him go really really slow and at different angles, if that doesn’t work then don’t worry because i’m basically in the same boat as you, except i’m having trouble with tampons not sex! sex WILL be trouble tho

how old are you? i’m 16, turning 17 in december. IF you try another several times and he still cant fit, try to get a doctors appointment because they WILL help i promise you. my friend had a hymen which meant she couldn’t use tampons and there’s a rlly easy surgery they do which literally takes 30 mins with general anaesthetic and then afterwards u can have sex perfectly fine

if it’s not a hymen problem, it could be vaginismus. it’s where your vagina muscles tense up without you trying to, and it means nothing can enter at all, and it’s painful.
i don’t know if i have hymen problem or vaginismus, or both. i wanna go to dr about it but i’m SO SO scared to tell my mum to book an appointment for it because i have to tell her everything. it’s so embarrasing and awkward i just couldn’t do it. but i NEED to see a doctor about it

like i said it’s crazy to see this question come up because i’m literally looking for answers myself, but trust me you are not alone. the amount of people i see on other forum sites saying “my boyfriends penis won’t fit it really hurts” it’s honeslty so common!

feel free to message me!

Reply 2

ProbablyPallas

19

It sounds like vaginismus, I'd go see your GP.

Reply 3

SupposedlyIronic

21

It happens to the best of us so don't worry. I know it can be frustrating, but it can also be fixed.

One possibility is that you weren't relaxed enough, or even vaginismus. It could also be that he wasn't relaxed and wasn't hard enough.

Reply 4

annabel_39

15

Original post by ProbablyPallas

It sounds like vaginismus, I'd go see your GP.

i second this, vaginismus was one of the first things i thought of when you simply said “it wouldn’t enter” which is why i said about it in my first (very long) answer. but if you can fit tampons i’m prettyyyy sure it can’t be vaginismus?

Reply 5

ProbablyPallas

19

Original post by annabel_39

i second this, vaginismus was one of the first things i thought of when you simply said “it wouldn’t enter” which is why i said about it in my first (very long) answer. but if you can fit tampons i’m prettyyyy sure it can’t be vaginismus?

No, not necessarily. It's not a cookie cutter condition, if you both have it, it could manifest differently for both of you. It's incredibly unlikely that OPs hymen is so thick that it causes burning when stretched.

Reply 6

Izzy2k03

OP

2

Original post by annabel_39

omg this is so crazy that this problem has come up on my feed because i’m kinda having the same problem.

can you use tampons? because if you can, that’s a starting point. i think it could be your hymen, where there’s a big enough hole for his finger (just) but not big enough to fit the actual penis in?
with me, i literally cant even fit a tampon or a finger and i’m a virgin, utterly TERRIFIED for my first time.

i would say to keep trying, maybe make him go really really slow and at different angles, if that doesn’t work then don’t worry because i’m basically in the same boat as you, except i’m having trouble with tampons not sex! sex WILL be trouble tho

how old are you? i’m 16, turning 17 in december. IF you try another several times and he still cant fit, try to get a doctors appointment because they WILL help i promise you. my friend had a hymen which meant she couldn’t use tampons and there’s a rlly easy surgery they do which literally takes 30 mins with general anaesthetic and then afterwards u can have sex perfectly fine

if it’s not a hymen problem, it could be vaginismus. it’s where your vagina muscles tense up without you trying to, and it means nothing can enter at all, and it’s painful.
i don’t know if i have hymen problem or vaginismus, or both. i wanna go to dr about it but i’m SO SO scared to tell my mum to book an appointment for it because i have to tell her everything. it’s so embarrasing and awkward i just couldn’t do it. but i NEED to see a doctor about it

like i said it’s crazy to see this question come up because i’m literally looking for answers myself, but trust me you are not alone. the amount of people i see on other forum sites saying “my boyfriends penis won’t fit it really hurts” it’s honeslty so common!

feel free to message me!

thx for the advice ill see how it goes