Want to drop out already

Awwww, that's unfortunate. Why don't you speak to a therapist or boyfriend/girlfriend?

I'm a fresher and I've been at university for not even 24 hours yet. I'm already sick of it. It's so so overwhelming for me right now. There's so many events going on. I don't know which are compulsory and which are not. I haven't gone to any. I haven't left my room to explore the campus because I'm petrified. I miss my family so much and I'm currently 5/6 hours away from them. I really regret picking a university so far away as I feel like I would've felt much better at one closer.

At the same time I felt fed up of being at home. I wanted change, but this is just really stupidly overwhelming. I don't know how to cook, my window won't open so I'm burning alive. Everything is going wrong already and I feel like I'm in prison.

My flatmates are lovely but I'm so socially awkward and feel like I'm a burden to them. They were having a party last night and I just sat in my room and cried the whole time. They comforted me, but I still felt like a **** for it.

I want to go home this weekend but the train costs 120. I can't afford that once a week, and it stops me from visiting my parents who I'm literally begging to see.

People will probably tell me to seek advice and talk to someone, but I just don't want to. I don't have the motivation to get help, I just want to leave. I've already emailed the email adress you use if you're considering leaving. It's making me depressed.

Hi Anonymous,

University is a massive change so it's understandable that you're feeling anxious and overwhelmed by it. Remember you've only been here 24hours, so this won't represent your university experience as a whole. Make sure you're all unpacked and get your room feeling as homey as you can. Put your pjs on, get a nice hot drink and put on a comfort film/tv show to provide some short term relief. As you get to know things and settle in things will get easier for you. If your window isn't opening or there are any other problems with your room, get in touch with your accommodation maintenance service and get them to fix it for you.

I think you should get in touch with your student support services. You'll likely be able to find them on your university's student portal, and they will have experience in supporting students who feel exactly the same as you. I know you're not feeling up to it right now which is totally okay, but when you have a day where you feel a little bit better than yesterday then consider dropping them an email, or at least looking at their page on the university website. Sending an email doesn't mean you have to talk to them that day, and you don't have to say everything in the email, you could just say something like 'I've just started my first year and I'm struggling and feeling overwhelmed'

In terms of events, I would go to all events that are linked to your course as these will be the most helpful to you. The societies fair is also a good one to go to as well, but if this is too overwhelming then you'll likely find similar information on your student union's website. Maybe see if you can get a flatmate to go with you. I would try and explore a little bit, even if it's just to pop to the shops, as getting some fresh air and a change of scenery will help perk you up for a bit.

As you said, your flatmates are lovely, and to me it sounds like they don't view you as a burden as they were happy to comfort you the other night . Maybe see if you can hangout 1 on 1 with them if it's easier than a big group, and take time to visit campus together, or ask one of them to cook a meal with you. You are not in the wrong for being upset and being homesick is totally normal. Myself and all of my friends had several moments when we were upset and wanted to go home so you're not alone with your feelings. Having a lot of people in my flat on the first night on uni would overwhelm me too!

In terms of cooking, BBC Good Foods have some recipes designed for students with little to no cooking experience here. If this still feels a bit daunting, try something easier like spaghetti meatballs where you can buy premade pasta sauce. This is how I started off cooking at uni, and when I felt a bit more confident in my cooking I'd add my own extra bits to the sauce, then had a go at making my own sauce. This works well with curries too . Another easy and yummy thing to make is a puff pastry tray bake. You basically buy a puff pastry roll, put it flat on a baking tray and add similar toppings that you'd put on a pizza. Pop it in the oven for however long the pastry packet says and it's done. You can get at least 3-4 portions from this. If you're not sure where the nearest shop is, do a quick google search, ask a flatmate or order groceries through uber eats/deliveroo. I ate a lot of microwave meals in my first week so grab a few of them to start off with.

I found that the feeling of being upset from homesickness got better the longer I stayed at uni. Making new friends and setting into my new routine helped ease it. If going home is what you need, see if you can visit home in about a week or so, and then every 3-4 weeks. Then you'll always have it to look forward to. Maybe see if your parents can come and visit you for a weekend instead?

Personally, I would try and stick it out for a month or so, but if your gut feeling is that this university isn't right for you then see if there's an option to transfer somewhere closer to home. It's okay if your uni isn't working out for you, ultimately the best thing to do is to go where you're happiest, even if it means going somewhere else or taking your time choosing the right place.

Lucy

I'm a fresher and I've been at university for not even 24 hours yet. I'm already sick of it. It's so so overwhelming for me right now. There's so many events going on. I don't know which are compulsory and which are not. I haven't gone to any. I haven't left my room to explore the campus because I'm petrified. I miss my family so much and I'm currently 5/6 hours away from them. I really regret picking a university so far away as I feel like I would've felt much better at one closer.

At the same time I felt fed up of being at home. I wanted change, but this is just really stupidly overwhelming. I don't know how to cook, my window won't open so I'm burning alive. Everything is going wrong already and I feel like I'm in prison.

My flatmates are lovely but I'm so socially awkward and feel like I'm a burden to them. They were having a party last night and I just sat in my room and cried the whole time. They comforted me, but I still felt like a **** for it.

I want to go home this weekend but the train costs 120. I can't afford that once a week, and it stops me from visiting my parents who I'm literally begging to see.

People will probably tell me to seek advice and talk to someone, but I just don't want to. I don't have the motivation to get help, I just want to leave. I've already emailed the email adress you use if you're considering leaving. It's making me depressed.

I'm a fresher and I've been at university for not even 24 hours yet. I'm already sick of it. It's so so overwhelming for me right now. There's so many events going on. I don't know which are compulsory and which are not. I haven't gone to any. I haven't left my room to explore the campus because I'm petrified. I miss my family so much and I'm currently 5/6 hours away from them. I really regret picking a university so far away as I feel like I would've felt much better at one closer.

At the same time I felt fed up of being at home. I wanted change, but this is just really stupidly overwhelming. I don't know how to cook, my window won't open so I'm burning alive. Everything is going wrong already and I feel like I'm in prison.

My flatmates are lovely but I'm so socially awkward and feel like I'm a burden to them. They were having a party last night and I just sat in my room and cried the whole time. They comforted me, but I still felt like a **** for it.

I want to go home this weekend but the train costs 120. I can't afford that once a week, and it stops me from visiting my parents who I'm literally begging to see.

People will probably tell me to seek advice and talk to someone, but I just don't want to. I don't have the motivation to get help, I just want to leave. I've already emailed the email adress you use if you're considering leaving. It's making me depressed.

that's quite an insensitive comment. Some people aren't used to moving away from their family nor can some people handle it well and that's okay. Not everyone has to be fine with being on their own. Please try to be more understanding to OP and other people who might also be feeling that way.

Thank you so so much. You don’t know how helpful this is to me. I’ll definitely try and stick it out. Everyone in my flat knows I’m anxious now, and my freshers rep told me to stay at least a week to see how things feel.

I’m going home Thursday and staying until Sunday to see my parents as that’s the best day to see them. I’m also going to video call them tomorrow, so hopefully that will help. I love them more than the world, and seeing them is my number one priority right now.

It's really normal to feel overwhelmed when you start uni. This is why universities will try to use the freshers/welcome week period to help you acclimatise a bit, so you are not trying to get everything up straight at the same time as starting your course.

You have a lot of concerns, so I'd recommend the following just as a couple of starting points:

- If you are in halls, have a word with one of the residential team. They are there to help people adjust to life at uni. If you are worried about going into detail about all your worries, just start by letting them know that you are thinking of withdrawing from your course and see where the conversation goes from there.

- Explore the campus, even just a little bit. If the thought of it fills you with dread, just start by having a shower, or putting your shoes on. Wait until after 6pm when things will be quieter, and then just walk to a building that you know, or the campus shop. If you fancy popping in, you can grab a readymeal or something easy to keep you going.

I'm a fresher and I've been at university for not even 24 hours yet. I'm already sick of it. It's so so overwhelming for me right now. There's so many events going on. I don't know which are compulsory and which are not. I haven't gone to any. I haven't left my room to explore the campus because I'm petrified. I miss my family so much and I'm currently 5/6 hours away from them. I really regret picking a university so far away as I feel like I would've felt much better at one closer.

At the same time I felt fed up of being at home. I wanted change, but this is just really stupidly overwhelming. I don't know how to cook, my window won't open so I'm burning alive. Everything is going wrong already and I feel like I'm in prison.

My flatmates are lovely but I'm so socially awkward and feel like I'm a burden to them. They were having a party last night and I just sat in my room and cried the whole time. They comforted me, but I still felt like a **** for it.

I want to go home this weekend but the train costs 120. I can't afford that once a week, and it stops me from visiting my parents who I'm literally begging to see.

People will probably tell me to seek advice and talk to someone, but I just don't want to. I don't have the motivation to get help, I just want to leave. I've already emailed the email adress you use if you're considering leaving. It's making me depressed.

Hi, I'm in such a similar situation to you right now, apart from this is my second attempt at university. I have social anxiety and so a lot of the things that aren't too difficult for most people, are to me. For example, I find it difficult to talk to my flatmates, and I even listen for when it's quietest in the flat for when I go into the kitchen to cook, or even just to go the the toilet or take a shower! For me it's completely overwhelming too, I miss my family so much and like your are really close with them. I've already been looking at train tickets to go home which are too expensive, and I've even been searching for alternatives to university or possibly transferring to one closer to home. I'm also having doubts about the course I'm taking so the whole thing for me is just so confusing. The first time I went to uni I absolutely hated it, the whole situation was a mess; I felt uncomfortable around my flatmates, I don't drink (although not everybody does so don't let that sway your decision!), I wasn't too keen on the course or the university, I felt like I was only doing it because I didn't know what else to do, and so I knew that leaving was the best thing for me then. I was there for two weeks, so maybe that wasn't long enough to know for sure, but I have no regrets about leaving. This time around, I'm going to make myself stay for at least four or five weeks. This is because I like the university a lot more, my flatmates are nice people and I want to give the course a go before deciding it isn't right.
I would say that if you really want to leave in a few weeks (the first week is definitely the hardest) , then that's absolutely fine and there is nothing wrong with that! Quite a lot of people drop out of university so don't think you're the only one if you do. It seems like you are quite close with your parents and so I'm guessing they would be very supportive if you did. One thing I would ask is if you've considered the financial implications? For me when I left, I found it really hard to find someone to take over my tenancy, and because I was in a contract I had to do this which turned out to be a bit of a nightmare. Have you also thought about how it will affect your student finance options in the future if you were to go to university again? For me it all worked out ok in the end, but just make sure you consider all the affects of leaving. Oh and one more thing, try and make sure you have a plan for when you get back home if you do decide to leave, because I started to feel very low once I'd left and went back home as I had no direction. Have you considered doing an online degree like the OU, or maybe something like a degree apprenticeship if you can't transfer to a closer to home uni? Good Luck and I hope everything works out ok!

I'm a fresher and I've been at university for not even 24 hours yet. I'm already sick of it. It's so so overwhelming for me right now. There's so many events going on. I don't know which are compulsory and which are not. I haven't gone to any. I haven't left my room to explore the campus because I'm petrified. I miss my family so much and I'm currently 5/6 hours away from them. I really regret picking a university so far away as I feel like I would've felt much better at one closer.

At the same time I felt fed up of being at home. I wanted change, but this is just really stupidly overwhelming. I don't know how to cook, my window won't open so I'm burning alive. Everything is going wrong already and I feel like I'm in prison.

My flatmates are lovely but I'm so socially awkward and feel like I'm a burden to them. They were having a party last night and I just sat in my room and cried the whole time. They comforted me, but I still felt like a **** for it.

I want to go home this weekend but the train costs 120. I can't afford that once a week, and it stops me from visiting my parents who I'm literally begging to see.

People will probably tell me to seek advice and talk to someone, but I just don't want to. I don't have the motivation to get help, I just want to leave. I've already emailed the email adress you use if you're considering leaving. It's making me depressed.

Hey - I don't really have any good advice, I just wanted to let you know that I feel exactly the same way ! I moved into halls on the 25th and even though I've tried with Freshers week : e.g. going to clubs, pres at flats and meetups in common rooms- I still feel really upset and stressed about everything.
I've already come home for the past 2 nights ( I am only 2.5hr drive from home) and feel really bad about everything. I feel guilty that I might give up such a good opportunity and potentially waste a bunch of money and time and I also feel paralysingly anxious about staying and attending lectures and having to look after myself under the (mild) scrutiny of my flatmates and people who I've already made a connection with. I feel like if I go home I'll stagnate and have a really hard time reapplying, but if I stay Ill fall behind in my work and be completely isolated without my family ( even though we have our problems) for a support network.
Like I said I don't have any solution for u bc I'm struggling in the same way but just wanted to let you know ur not alone in this !!