Why do I want to get married?

All I want, is to fall in love and get married. Make a life with my husband and do things together; build a home, travel - see the world, and eventually grow old together. I don't want to do that alone, all I want is to love someone SO much, and have them love me back in the same way.

I've always had the Romeo and Juliet slash Jack and Rose outlook on life. Romantic movies were the essence of my teenage years and it seems to have had a devastating impact on my adult life.

Why though? Have I been conditioned through fairy tales like The Notebook, to want the picket fence life? Is it realistic? Is it harmful to want something like this so much? Does it really happen, and if so, who does it happen to?

Just thought I'd ask for some perspectives on other people's hopes for the future and whether or not you've always wanted something throughout childhood and still do into early adulthood?

What do you want for your future?

I guess because that is in a way what society expects, it is the norm and it has been the norm for many a millenium. Not just through conditioning as you said.
Although the conditioning doesn't always work, I have a friend who doesn't believe in marriage and never wants to have kids, it's just one of those things. She just doesn't find it appealing (not just because she doesn't find child birth appealing.)

Is it harmful to be allowed to be conditioned and to think this way? No, as long as that is what you truly want.

Reply 21

Johnny Christ

11

Yay, another personification of everything that is wrong with unrealistic romantic movies.

Reply 22

Hooj

I want to get married to you OP. Receive a nice Honey Moon BJ with those juicy lips of yours.

Reply 23

Luceria

10

Original post by Hooj

I want to get married to you OP. Receive a nice Honey Moon BJ with those juicy lips of yours.

I thought you were banned, lol. Why do you say you're a girl?

Reply 24

Hooj

Original post by Luceria

I thought you were banned, lol. Why do you say you're a girl?

Reply 25

pinkmonkey3

10

I want those things too. And sometimes i almost feel ashamed cause people thing i should be fulfilling potential and be ambitious. But ever since i was young i suppose i have been influenced A LOT by fairytales and romantic movies too :smile:

Reply 26

username430180

12

I'd just like to have a nice house, a decent job, and to be able to travel a lot.
Even if it does mean I end up living on my own with a vibrator and about 20 cats.

Reply 27

katyness

16

I dont know why :s-smilie:

but there is something that I've always wanted since I was a child and I want it so bad which is to be a doctor. Apart from that, I've never wanted anything so much.

Reply 28

james_is_here

I'm a guy and I have always wanted this aswell, I have tried to be as romantic as possibe, meals out... flowers... holidays... country walks to secret places... suprises... everything. But its all pointless and meaningless if both people arent truley in love (plus some girls hate all that romatic stuff :frown:

).

I guess you just have to wait untill "the one" comes along, everyone meets them sooner or later. Just gotta remember relationships are never perfect and you cant expect them to be, like Noah and Allie in the notebook were always fighting but it didnt matter because they were truley in love :smile:

But also never stay in a relationship unless there is love, or you are falling in love because that just starts to mind**** you.

Thats just my perspective on it all.

Reply 29

dirtyoldriver

10

I want somebody to share my life with. I have a great deal of ambitions regarding what I want to do, I don't necessarily want to settle down in the picket-fence house, at least not for a good while, but I'd rather go at it with somebody I love by my side than alone. It's not a dependency thing, it's wanting to share my experiences more than anything, I think.

At the moment I can't imagine doing that with anybody who isn't my current boyfriend, but I'm definitely not going to get ahead of myself on that :rolleyes:

To be honest I think romantic movies appeal to certain people rather than conditioning them. There's nothing wrong with wanting what you do, but IMO when you get to the grit of reality or whatever, it's never going to feel quite as perfect as it seems on film. I reckon it's more about not getting unrealistic expectations about how it will be when you get it, I don't think what you're asking for is remotely unachievable :smile:

really all it takes is being lucky enough to find somebody who wants the same thing as you do.

Reply 30

Oven

Marriage is nothing but a mistake. Biggest mistake that I ever made.

Reply 31

Summergirl.x

Original post by Ilora-Danon

All I want, is to fall in love and get married. Make a life with my husband and do things together; build a home, travel - see the world, and eventually grow old together. I don't want to do that alone, all I want is to love someone SO much, and have them love me back in the same way.

I've always had the Romeo and Juliet slash Jack and Rose outlook on life. Romantic movies were the essence of my teenage years and it seems to have had a devastating impact on my adult life.

Why though? Have I been conditioned through fairy tales like The Notebook, to want the picket fence life? Is it realistic? Is it harmful to want something like this so much? Does it really happen, and if so, who does it happen to?

Just thought I'd ask for some perspectives on other people's hopes for the future and whether or not you've always wanted something throughout childhood and still do into early adulthood?

What do you want for your future?

It's not unrealistic. I see lots of couples like this. But I haven't worked out whether it is chance or precaution(not sure whether that is the exact word but I hope you get what I mean, as in choice/decision wise).
I want the same as you described :smile:

What's wrong with wanting a picket fence life? And even if it is unrealistic, there is always the saying "Aim for the moon and even if you miss you'll land in the stars" (Or something like that). But maybe in order to secure the likelihood of ending up like this you should consider what TRoosevelt suggested "Keep your eyes on the stars but your feet on the ground." :smile:

To be spontaneous.

Watching lots of rom coms and musicals, as well as having a bit of a sheltered upbringing and being a closed-book personality/emotional-wise, I used to have a rather idealistic and simplistic understanding of love and marriage, etc. For me, uni (third year in particular) ended up being a lesson in what love is like and about. Or, given the complex and confusing nature of love, a lesson heading towards an understanding of what it's like and about :smile:

It makes me both more optimistic and more pessimistic about the future and though the whole thing hurt a lot, I wouldn't take it back :nah:

Reply 34

ticklemeellen

7

I'm not so bothered about marriage but i definitely want to have kids way in the future and a long term partner. I already semi plan my future taking into consideration my boyfriend.

I think i am a bit too love and romance orientated.

Reply 35

marille

I don't think it's impossible to have a relationship like that - a lot of people have managed it and still do. What's overlooked by romantic films and books and the like, though, is the sheer amount of hard work it takes to keep a relationship like that going. There will be blips, rough patches and doubts, but ultimately if two people are willing to put the effort in, I do think it's possible. You're probably right, though, that it's partly a maturity thing, so I'm expecting to wait a while before I find that kind of relationship.

Why do I want to get married?

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