I avoid being in the kitchen at the same time as my flatmates. Is this odd behaviour?

Anon because this is very embarrassing.

I avoid going into the kitchen at the same time as my flatmates because I don't like interacting with them or saying hi. This includes seeing them in other places, such as walking out the bathroom. It's not that I hate them personally, but I hate interaction with people in general. It leads me to having very odd eating patterns and when I cook food, I minimise the time I stay in the kitchen as much as possible.

Today, one of them had a few friends over and they were in the kitchen (or milling around the kitchen) from about 11am to 5pm. During that time, I had to eat dry food that was in my room. I managed to sneak into the kitchen to cook something after they left, but I rushed back to my room as soon as I saw one of my other flatmates out the window coming back.

I have also done other strange things like adopted weird sleeping patterns (8pm-4am, for example) or had dirty dishes pile up in my room because I'm afraid of washing the dishes and my flatmates walk into the kitchen.

Is this odd behaviour? If you had a flatmate who did this, would you notice they did this and what would you think of it?

Reply 1

Odd socks

14

I do the same thing. But then I figure mines is due to my anxiety, could possibly be the reason behind your avoiding people too?

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

beckaroo7

13

This really isn't meant to sound mean.

I'd find it extremely odd. It sounds like social anxiety, and maybe you should get help? I've felt down before and tried to avoid people etc but if you feel like this all the time it really isn't normal. If I was your house mate I don't think I would understand why you do this. I'm still not completely sure, and can only think it's a form of anxiety, like another member suggested

Reply 3

Nutella:3

10

Yes. For a start it's very antisocial and I imagine it would create an incredibly difficult atmosphere in the house. Why don't you try and talk to them?

I currently live in a house with 3 other students, and although I don't particularly like one of them I still talk to her if I see her. To ignore them is just rude. And as I said before creates awful atmosphere in the house. And when you're all living together in such a tight space with the amount of work everyone has got going on and the stress it causes people do not need additional tension. Trust me, when me and one of my housemates had a fallout, it was awful.... never again. The environment was unbearable. After a couple of days we both couldn't stand it and realised it's better to just try and get along even if we both know we won't be best friends.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 4

llys

17

Yes, this qualifies as odd behaviour. Do you have Asperger's? Not saying that's it, I'm just curious.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Odd socks

I do the same thing. But then I figure mines is due to my anxiety, could possibly be the reason behind your avoiding people too?

Posted from TSR Mobile

I don't like interaction with people but it could be because of anxiety.

Original post by beckaroo7

This really isn't meant to sound mean.

I'd find it extremely odd. It sounds like social anxiety, and maybe you should get help? I've felt down before and tried to avoid people etc but if you feel like this all the time it really isn't normal. If I was your house mate I don't think I would understand why you do this. I'm still not completely sure, and can only think it's a form of anxiety, like another member suggested

Do you think the other flatmates would have noticed or do you they're too busy with their own lives and not paying attention?

Original post by Nutella:3

Yes. For a start it's very antisocial and I imagine it would create an incredibly difficult atmosphere in the house. Why don't you try and talk to them?

I currently live in a house with 3 other students, and although I don't particularly like one of them I still talk to her if I see her. To ignore them is just rude. And as I said before creates awful atmosphere in the house. And when you're all living together in such a tight space with the amount of work everyone has got going on and the stress it causes people do not need additional tension. Trust me, when me and one of my housemates had a fallout, it was awful.... never again. The environment was unbearable. After a couple of days we both couldn't stand it and realised it's better to just try and get along even if we both know we won't be best friends.

Don't get me wrong, I do say hi the rare times I do see them and I don't hate them. If I am in the room with them for more than a brief moment, I try to make some conversation. But I attempt to avoid them as much as possible.

Reply 6

Xyloid

I was much the same in halls, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I'm just not one for small-talk and a bit of a misanthrope.

Who cares about what everyone else does.

Reply 7

2504003889

Original post by Anonymous

Anon because this is very embarrassing.

I avoid going into the kitchen at the same time as my flatmates because I don't like interacting with them or saying hi. This includes seeing them in other places, such as walking out the bathroom. It's not that I hate them personally, but I hate interaction with people in general. It leads me to having very odd eating patterns and when I cook food, I minimise the time I stay in the kitchen as much as possible.

Today, one of them had a few friends over and they were in the kitchen (or milling around the kitchen) from about 11am to 5pm. During that time, I had to eat dry food that was in my room. I managed to sneak into the kitchen to cook something after they left, but I rushed back to my room as soon as I saw one of my other flatmates out the window coming back.

I have also done other strange things like adopted weird sleeping patterns (8pm-4am, for example) or had dirty dishes pile up in my room because I'm afraid of washing the dishes and my flatmates walk into the kitchen.

Is this odd behaviour? If you had a flatmate who did this, would you notice they did this and what would you think of it?

Haha this happens to me too, though I can't really tell the reasons!

Reply 8

pinkbullets

12

I sometimes do this - I hate running into people on my way to the bathroom and sometimes (depending on my mood) I avoid the kitchen/living room when people are in it. I actually love my flat mates and I'd never tell them this because they just wouldn't understand. But sometimes I just really don't want to make small talk. And I have noticed that I definitely don't like leaving my bedroom when my flat mates have friends around so I kind of attribute the whole thing to my dislike of talking to people I don't really know.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Phew I'm not the only one then. I'm exactly the same and I wonder what my flatmates think too. I feel like I come across as rude but I don't intend to be, I just feel uncomfortable when they're around and I don't know what to say to them. I tried to make the effort at first but after a while I couldn't keep it up.. now it's getting quite out of control as I regularly skip meals and I'm acting irrationally to avoid bumping into people i.e. keeping my blind open at night as a way of seeing if anyone is in there (the light from the window reflects on the window of the building opposite).

I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety as my issues aren't limited to just my flat; I struggle to interact with people on my course too and I haven't made any real friends since I started in October. It's really getting to me now and after waiting 2 months for a counselling appointment at my uni, I finally have one in a couple of weeks' time.

I'm not sure if yours is just specific to your flat/kitchen but either way it sounds like you could have anxiety too so it might be a good idea to seek help if it's having a major impact on you

Reply 10

+ polarity -

21

I did it in first year, and I'm doing it now, for different reasons. I've used the oven about twice this year and have been living on Pizza Hut.

#uni

Reply 11

beckaroo7

13

Original post by Anonymous

I don't like interaction with people but it could be because of anxiety.

Do you think the other flatmates would have noticed or do you they're too busy with their own lives and not paying attention?

Don't get me wrong, I do say hi the rare times I do see them and I don't hate them. If I am in the room with them for more than a brief moment, I try to make some conversation. But I attempt to avoid them as much as possible.

They've probably noticed that they live with you but hardly ever see/speak to you but it probably isn't obvious why this is the case

Reply 12

username1060288

6

I suspect it would become easier the more you practice. And you might actually feel more comfortable in the end versus avoiding people and letting it dictate your lifestyle. All you have to say is 'hello how are you' each time and it should be fairly contained :smile:

'did you have a good day' 'how's work going' 'what are you making' 'I'm making XYZ for dinner'. It can't hurt...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

The pencil one

That's what I do when I have visitors at home and I don't wanna see them lol

Yes it's odd OP, social anxiety I believe. You need to interact otherwise it'll get worse. How do you expect to survive at work??

Reply 14

The pencil one

Original post by + polarity -

I did it in first year, and I'm doing it now, for different reasons. I've used the oven about twice this year and have been living on Pizza Hut.

#uni

No wonder you're a gem whore, spend all your time on here instead of experiencing the uni life :cool:

Man up.

Reply 15

username1347185

13

I do it too, I went back to sleep yesterday because I was hungry but didn't want to go into the kitchen when other people were there. Today I also, instead of getting a drink (even though I was super thirsty) waited and watched 3 episodes of a TV show until everyone had left.

Though this is down to anxiety and so obviously I prefer not to be in a room with lots of other people and by lots I mean anyone apart from myself.

Reply 16

+ polarity -

21

Original post by The pencil one

No wonder you're a gem whore, spend all your time on here instead of experiencing the uni life :cool:

Man up.

you don't know my life

Reply 17

Rascacielos

19

I think it's probably not normal. I mean, everybody avoids people from time to time - it's part of the reason why I live alone - but you sound like you really go out of your way to avoid people. I might make up an excuse to not meet up with someone if I'm really busy with work or, if I lived in a house with other people, I might scoot in and out of the kitchen as quickly as possible when I don't want to get distracted but not all of the time. That's part of the fun of living with other people, surely? I think maybe you should go speak to someone about it. As other people (who probably know much more than I do) have suggested, you might have some form of social anxiety which you can get help for.