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24 year old female, never had a bf, kissed a guy, been on a date, or been asked out.. watch

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    Do you think its too late for me? Am I a freak now? I feel like it will be hard now to find someone..girls my age have had relationships and are probably looking for something more long term. I haven't even experienced a short relationship and I don't feel like I am ready to get married or commit long term. I feel like I still have a lot of growing up to do and things to achieve personally (I'm happy with my career though).. I don't want to get married when I'm past 32 though..I need to basically 'catch up' to all the other girls in my age range.

    I feel like a child still..not because I'm immature (I'm not), but because I haven't experienced anything! I don't feel like a woman. I feel like a teenager still lol. I'm definitely emotionally stunted due to this.

    It seems all so confusing and weird..is it too late now? Have I missed the boat? I feel weird being a virgin. I wish I wasn't! I know I don't want to lose it to a random guy from a club, so in order to lose it I'd have to find a guy I like who likes me back and is interested in being in a relationship with me..that seems hard..for it to work out so perfectly..you know: I like him, he likes me..and someone actually does something about it!

    So..what are your thoughts? Is it too late? I mean there is currently no guy interested in me right now. I did go to a club last week..I was friendly, chatted a bit, but that was it. I don't like the atmosphere and would hate to continue going to such places to 'meet a guy'. I also think those types of guys aren't for me really. I always knew I hated clubbing but gave it another chance and I am sure it is not the place for me now. I wouldn't mind going just to improve my social skills but not for anything else.

    I recently completed my PhD and am looking for a job. I'm not likely to meet a guy there.

    I have no friends right now and when I had a few who drifted away from me, they had no guy friends, so I have no way of meeting guys through my friends..

    So what does that leave me with? Where do I go from here? How do I change things?

    This isn't about learning how to be more social, confident, etc. It's more an issue of the technical aspect of dating/relationships..how am I to find someone decent to date and experience things with? Where do I find that person? I hate being this way.

    Thanks..
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    I'd recommend joining a club, or going to the gym, or some other kind of activity that gets you out and about and where you can meet new people. Or, you could try dating apps, if you want to chat to new guys and get to know people.

    Don't feel like you're weird, or that it's too late. There is no set age of when you need to have sex or a relationship by. Go out and do things you enjoy, where other people might have similar interests. There's no rush, and don't give yourself time limits.
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    Do you think its too late for me? Am I a freak now? I feel like it will be hard now to find someone..girls my age have had relationships and are probably looking for something more long term. I haven't even experienced a short relationship and I don't feel like I am ready to get married or commit long term. I feel like I still have a lot of growing up to do and things to achieve personally (I'm happy with my career though).. I don't want to get married when I'm past 32 though..I need to basically 'catch up' to all the other girls in my age range.

    I feel like a child still..not because I'm immature (I'm not), but because I haven't experienced anything! I don't feel like a woman. I feel like a teenager still lol. I'm definitely emotionally stunted due to this.

    It seems all so confusing and weird..is it too late now? Have I missed the boat? I feel weird being a virgin. I wish I wasn't! I know I don't want to lose it to a random guy from a club, so in order to lose it I'd have to find a guy I like who likes me back and is interested in being in a relationship with me..that seems hard..for it to work out so perfectly..you know: I like him, he likes me..and someone actually does something about it!

    So..what are your thoughts? Is it too late? I mean there is currently no guy interested in me right now. I did go to a club last week..I was friendly, chatted a bit, but that was it. I don't like the atmosphere and would hate to continue going to such places to 'meet a guy'. I also think those types of guys aren't for me really. I always knew I hated clubbing but gave it another chance and I am sure it is not the place for me now. I wouldn't mind going just to improve my social skills but not for anything else.

    I recently completed my PhD and am looking for a job. I'm not likely to meet a guy there.

    I have no friends right now and when I had a few who drifted away from me, they had no guy friends, so I have no way of meeting guys through my friends..

    So what does that leave me with? Where do I go from here? How do I change things?

    This isn't about learning how to be more social, confident, etc. It's more an issue of the technical aspect of dating/relationships..how am I to find someone decent to date and experience things with? Where do I find that person? I hate being this way.

    Thanks..
    OP, I too was once a 24-year old belle who had never set eyes on a man, let alone had a boyfriend, until I joined the Conservative Party. At my first local committee meeting, I met the most honest, hardworking and trustworthy man who shared the same conservative values as did I, and needless to say, both of us instantly fell headlong in love with each other; February next year will mark the fifth year we've been happily married together.

    So long story short, join the Conservative Party.
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    Some people take this way tooooo seriously. Get a grip ffs. Is it any different if you are 23 or 25? Doesn't it matter if you haven't been on a date or have?!

    Not thinking like a paranoid / narcissist would be a wonderful restart to your life in general.
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    Do you think its too late for me? Am I a freak now? I feel like it will be hard now to find someone..girls my age have had relationships and are probably looking for something more long term. I haven't even experienced a short relationship and I don't feel like I am ready to get married or commit long term. I feel like I still have a lot of growing up to do and things to achieve personally (I'm happy with my career though).. I don't want to get married when I'm past 32 though..I need to basically 'catch up' to all the other girls in my age range.

    I feel like a child still..not because I'm immature (I'm not), but because I haven't experienced anything! I don't feel like a woman. I feel like a teenager still lol. I'm definitely emotionally stunted due to this.

    It seems all so confusing and weird..is it too late now? Have I missed the boat? I feel weird being a virgin. I wish I wasn't! I know I don't want to lose it to a random guy from a club, so in order to lose it I'd have to find a guy I like who likes me back and is interested in being in a relationship with me..that seems hard..for it to work out so perfectly..you know: I like him, he likes me..and someone actually does something about it!

    So..what are your thoughts? Is it too late? I mean there is currently no guy interested in me right now. I did go to a club last week..I was friendly, chatted a bit, but that was it. I don't like the atmosphere and would hate to continue going to such places to 'meet a guy'. I also think those types of guys aren't for me really. I always knew I hated clubbing but gave it another chance and I am sure it is not the place for me now. I wouldn't mind going just to improve my social skills but not for anything else.

    I recently completed my PhD and am looking for a job. I'm not likely to meet a guy there.

    I have no friends right now and when I had a few who drifted away from me, they had no guy friends, so I have no way of meeting guys through my friends..

    So what does that leave me with? Where do I go from here? How do I change things?

    This isn't about learning how to be more social, confident, etc. It's more an issue of the technical aspect of dating/relationships..how am I to find someone decent to date and experience things with? Where do I find that person? I hate being this way.

    Thanks..
    Are you not more worried about the fact you dont have any friends?
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    OP people been on here long enough to perceive you as a broken record, you haven't been taking any serious advice from us for a year. What more do you expect us to do?
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    it doesn't matter we all start doing things at different times. the only part of you that's acting like a teenager is thinking you have to be like other girls. (please don't take this offensively)
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    The people who are in relationships before mid-20s don't tend to stay together long term, so there is very little advantage to it (some do! don't get me wrong). If you want to meet someone then you need to be a bit more outgoing about it, but if you don't then that's okay it's your life and your choice
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    (Original post by DiceTheSlice)
    Some people take this way tooooo seriously. Get a grip ffs. Is it any different if you are 23 or 25? Doesn't it matter if you haven't been on a date or have?!

    Not thinking like a paranoid / narcissist would be a wonderful restart to your life in general.
    Every idiot throws around the word narcissist nowadays because they've read one book, get a grip on life before insulting people seeking advice.
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    (Original post by Nerol)
    I'd recommend joining a club, or going to the gym, or some other kind of activity that gets you out and about and where you can meet new people. Or, you could try dating apps, if you want to chat to new guys and get to know people.

    Don't feel like you're weird, or that it's too late. There is no set age of when you need to have sex or a relationship by. Go out and do things you enjoy, where other people might have similar interests. There's no rush, and don't give yourself time limits.
    I completely agree with this. Essentially you want to find someone who has the same interests as you, so the best place to do this is to join a club or something where you meet like-minded people. So, for example, if you are really into art, go to an art class. Doing this should also help you make some friends! You do have to be confident enough to chat to new people though otherwise you just sit there on your own.

    There isn't anything stopping you meeting someone at work, so don't put that idea off completely. You never know! I think the key to finding someone is to stop looking and just go with the flow.
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    (Original post by DiceTheSlice)
    Some people take this way tooooo seriously. Get a grip ffs. Is it any different if you are 23 or 25? Doesn't it matter if you haven't been on a date or have?!

    Not thinking like a paranoid / narcissist would be a wonderful restart to your life in general.
    What do you mean? How is this being paranoid/a narcissist? please explain because I do want to change.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Are you not more worried about the fact you dont have any friends?
    Yes I am..but its not that hard to befriend other girls...I just dont feel like I have the energy to maintain friendships. They always come and go.
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    (Original post by fluffyowl)
    I completely agree with this. Essentially you want to find someone who has the same interests as you, so the best place to do this is to join a club or something where you meet like-minded people. So, for example, if you are really into art, go to an art class. Doing this should also help you make some friends! You do have to be confident enough to chat to new people though otherwise you just sit there on your own.

    There isn't anything stopping you meeting someone at work, so don't put that idea off completely. You never know! I think the key to finding someone is to stop looking and just go with the flow.
    But what if I never find someone at these places who I'm attracted to and who is attracted to me? Its not that easy for it to work out for the both of us.

    The luckiest people aren't the ones just in relationships etc. but rather those that are with the person they liked and they were also liked back. i find that its a bit difficult to come by
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    OP people been on here long enough to perceive you as a broken record, you haven't been taking any serious advice from us for a year. What more do you expect us to do?
    I have. like I said in my post, I went to a mingle event at a pub and I did talk to some guys but it never went beyond just friendly chatter. So, I am trying to make changes but they don't seem to be working. My question was more about what if it doesn't work out like I may like someone but they may not like me back...or someone may like me and I might not like them. So what if it never works out on both ends? What if I always have that bad luck? That's more my issue. I know that being more social and outgoing might change things. I have had guys flirt with me, stare, etc. but I didn't really like them.
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    (Original post by Nerol)
    I'd recommend joining a club, or going to the gym, or some other kind of activity that gets you out and about and where you can meet new people. Or, you could try dating apps, if you want to chat to new guys and get to know people.

    Don't feel like you're weird, or that it's too late. There is no set age of when you need to have sex or a relationship by. Go out and do things you enjoy, where other people might have similar interests. There's no rush, and don't give yourself time limits.
    But what if I'm in the same position in 10 years? What if I end up being that one freak who NEVER met someone, never dated..It's so freaky to think..
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    OP, I too was once a 24-year old belle who had never set eyes on a man, let alone had a boyfriend, until I joined the Conservative Party. At my first local committee meeting, I met the most honest, hardworking and trustworthy man who shared the same conservative values as did I, and needless to say, both of us instantly fell headlong in love with each other; February next year will mark the fifth year we've been happily married together.

    So long story short, join the Conservative Party.
    I'm not so sure about what the party does, but in theory this is a really solid post.

    If you want to find a good Man then find a conservative. The more conservative the better.
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    erm going clubbing probably won;t help you as most guys are just looking to get laid maybe get a part time job and try and meet people at your uni
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    I'm 23, I'm exactly in the same boat as you but after several heartbreaks (unrequited love) I've just had to tell myself in the end that there's nothing wrong with me, and that relationships aren't for me. Maybe you can do the same. I've stopped being scared and asking myself 'what if I never find someone' and instead I've accepted my fate so I can move on and focus on more important things.
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    24 and have a PhD... bloodyell! Well done!
    It would honestly be hard for someone who doesn't know you well to give you advice.
    Ask a female friend maybe what you could do?
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    I'm 23, I'm exactly in the same boat as you but after several heartbreaks (unrequited love) I've just had to tell myself in the end that there's nothing wrong with me, and that relationships aren't for me. Maybe you can do the same. I've stopped being scared and asking myself 'what if I never find someone' and instead I've accepted my fate so I can move on and focus on more important things.
    Awwwww this post breaks my heart you'll find someone I swear!

    OP you need to stop waving your virginity around, it's creepy. Maybe the guys you talk to get the impression they have been friendzoned? Honestly just be more flirty. You won't struggle to fix someone that will be interested.
 
 
 
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