Is there anyway to stop my feelings of jealously and loneliness when I see my crush

and her boyfriend together. I like her so so so so so so so so so so much. She's all I think about all day from the moment I wake up to when I go to bed I spend all day thinking about her. She's so great i can't even explain to you guys how great she is. I felt like she would even be a perfect girl as my first girlfriend and first person to have intimate experience with. I am overwhelmed by jealously and sadness when I see him and her together, I would literally kill to be able to swap places she is soo so so perfect. I even have dreams about her every night I dream about intorudicng her to all my family and they all think she is the best and I think about how nice it would feel to be able to hold her hand or touch her hair. I even had one really weird fantasy where I let someone kill me on the condition that I got to spend 1 day with her beforehand. I wish someone else could understand how obsessed I am with her

and her boyfriend together. I like her so so so so so so so so so so much. She's all I think about all day from the moment I wake up to when I go to bed I spend all day thinking about her. She's so great i can't even explain to you guys how great she is. I felt like she would even be a perfect girl as my first girlfriend and first person to have intimate experience with. I am overwhelmed by jealously and sadness when I see him and her together, I would literally kill to be able to swap places she is soo so so perfect. I even have dreams about her every night I dream about intorudicng her to all my family and they all think she is the best and I think about how nice it would feel to be able to hold her hand or touch her hair. I even had one really weird fantasy where I let someone kill me on the condition that I got to spend 1 day with her beforehand. I wish someone else could understand how obsessed I am with her

Hi OP I'm somewhat going through what you are going through in that I am longing after a crush who will never be with me and it hurts so much. I would not say I hold an obsession over him but it hurts me very deeply and personally and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Okay so the advice I'm giving you is partly what's helping me. And the truth hurts, but it will set you free. She is not perfect. If you wait around for the perfect woman you will be alone forever, yes I am telling you now right you will be alone forever if you don't get your head back to reality. All kinds of wonderful people will pass you by, who are probably better than her to be mild. And even if you did get with her, remember it is the image in your head of her that is perfect which has nothing to do with her in reality, not even she could live up to that. I know as someone who has gone through similar that the reason you have created this fantasy is as an escapism. You are either running from something, or something is missing in your life (or both). Either way it is a response to some sort of trauma or deattachment, which you might not even consciously be aware of. That's something that you need to figure out and work on. Also keeping this fantasy is almost a form of masochism, secretly you love the longing, the aching, the drama, the instability, the self-sabotage and the pain... It makes you feel something.

You really need to create some distance between yourself and them both and look after yourself. Sorry to tell you but she is nothing and she is nobody other than in your head.

Hi OP I'm somewhat going through what you are going through in that I am longing after a crush who will never be with me and it hurts so much. I would not say I hold an obsession over him but it hurts me very deeply and personally and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Okay so the advice I'm giving you is partly what's helping me. And the truth hurts, but it will set you free. She is not perfect. If you wait around for the perfect woman you will be alone forever, yes I am telling you now right you will be alone forever if you don't get your head back to reality. All kinds of wonderful people will pass you by, who are probably better than her to be mild. And even if you did get with her, remember it is the image in your head of her that is perfect which has nothing to do with her in reality, not even she could live up to that. I know as someone who has gone through similar that the reason you have created this fantasy is as an escapism. You are either running from something, or something is missing in your life (or both). Either way it is a response to some sort of trauma or deattachment, which you might not even consciously be aware of. That's something that you need to figure out and work on. Also keeping this fantasy is almost a form of masochism, secretly you love the longing, the aching, the drama, the instability, the self-sabotage and the pain... It makes you feel something.

You really need to create some distance between yourself and them both and look after yourself. Sorry to tell you but she is nothing and she is nobody other than in your head.

I kind of agreed with what you say about deep down I love the longing for her ands the fantasising about her etc, because I do kind of secretly enjoy fantasising about her a lot. Like I go really deep and detailed thinking about her, I even wrote a christmas card for her but didn't give it to her I just sat there reading it to myself over and over again. I even sometime forget she isn't actually my girlfriend because I think about her so much. I disagree that she's just made out to be something special in my head. If you could meet me you could see this is not the case, she is really really sweet and nice and so cute. She has the most adorable quirks and personality, also I often see her at lunch sitting but herself reading (before she got her boyfriend) and because I was feeling lonely I thought maybe she was lonely as well and that made me like her even more because it felt like we were meant to be together and I would think about going up to her and starting a convo but i was too shy. I have talked to her before but only when theres someone else there to initiate the conservation for me otherwise I can't do it. We haven't talked that much maybe only once a month but I treasure it every time. I just adore everything about her and can't go a single minute without thinking of her in some way or another. Honestly no exaggeration to say she is on my mind 24/7

OP whilst a lot of us completely understand how you're feeling what Anon has said above is really good advice. You will loose yourself in it otherwise. And it might seem all nice all the warm fuzzy feelings and stuff but... For them the price you pay grows each time you realise actually all these fantasies and stuff are leading nowhere. The more you solidify her as your 'one true love' in your mind/dreams etc the more you're going to crash each time you get those reminders that actually you're not together and she's with someone else. Please try to gradually get used to not 'enjoying' these fantasies so much. Sounds weird but like you've described you indulge in them so if at all possible distract instead. Try to build in things that're good substitutes to sitting with these thoughts so things like hobbies, friends, pets, work, uni etc. Take care of yourself!