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Girlfriend going to magaluf Watch

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    Bit of background here first, I genuinely feel like I have found the one, a year and a half since I first started seeing her I still get butterflies when I see her face, she means the world to me. The only problem has been her drinking, when she gets drunk she is out of control with no sense of safety or what she's doing, and she is quite a naturally flirty person which has caused arguments in the past and eroded away part of my trust, she got accused of cheating on me and I decided to believe her that she didn't, which was hard for me to do and still annoys me to this day with the thought of "maybe she did" although Im 99.9% sure she didn't. Our relationship reached a crossroads about 4 months ago and she promised it would change in terms of her drunken behaviour and I told her about me not being as trusting, both of us have worked hard at our relationship and seems we're looking good.

    However she is now wanting to goto magaluf with just her and 3 girls, 2 of which are sluts for 10 days without me. I wanted her to be able to go away and enjoy herself on a girls holiday but going somewhere like magaluf with only the 3 friends (all her other friend want to goto music festivals which aren't really her scene) is a thought that is driving me insane, we've argued about it and she is standing pretty firm that she wants to go there. I thought right I'll just have to get used to the idea but now I'm realising that despite how much I love her I dont think that I can genuinely cope with her going there under the circumstances and I feel strongly that it will be the ruination of a relationship which I want to last, we both love each other but I really don't think I can put up with her going to magaluf and feel like saying it's either me or the holiday, especially after me just regaining my trust for her fully, any advice?
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    If you don't trust her, this isn't going to work long term,
    I understand where you're coming from, but I also think neither of you should have to make such big sacrifices to jeep the other happy :/
    If you're sure it worth it, talk to her very seriously, and make sure she fully understands your concerns

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    If she cheats on you, then it was gonna eventually happen, so you'd just be prolonging the inevitable.
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    LOOOOOOL basically:

    1) magaluf. many a relationships have crashed because of the mention of this word alone; let alone the partner touching down at the scene.

    2) she's going with her friends. now any sane guy knows that a girl; if not anything trusts the words of her friends more than she does her parents. anyone is the average of their top 5 friends. lets review. her friends are top sluts for days; who love nothing more than the party scene, getting drunk and having sex with random men.

    3) she's defiant to go.

    4) lets not forget that she "cheated" on you before. you never really ironed that part of your relationship out brother.

    now i must ask.

    is that your girls' pussy or the worlds' pussy?

    these times, is this your girl or the worlds' girl..?

    bruhhhhhh.. you gotta let her go. it's over.

    imo, trust is vital in any relationship true. but at the same time, one simply does not take the piss. taking friends who will likely convince her that: "ohh he won't find out" does not sit well with me imo
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    You obviously haven't regained your trust for her fully.
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    It's a difficult situation to be in, and I understand your concerns. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time it seems the best and logical thing to do is to break up because there is no trust anymore. You're always going to doubt what's happened in magaluf once she comes back, you already said that there have been allegations of her cheating in the past. You're going to get sucked into this cycle of doubting everything, wanting to trust her, feeling insecure and there'll be a lot of arguments. I've been and still am in a similar situation to you, and what I'm trying to say is get out while you still can. Although I know it's extremely difficult to do when you're completely in love with that person, you just don't want to let them go, you want to fix things back to how they used to be.

    Whatever happens, good luck.
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    (Original post by Pharmaholic)
    It's a difficult situation to be in, and I understand your concerns. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time it seems the best and logical thing to do is to break up because there is no trust anymore. You're always going to doubt what's happened in magaluf once she comes back, you already said that there have been allegations of her cheating in the past. You're going to get sucked into this cycle of doubting everything, wanting to trust her, feeling insecure and there'll be a lot of arguments. I've been and still am in a similar situation to you, and what I'm trying to say is get out while you still can. Although I know it's extremely difficult to do when you're completely in love with that person, you just don't want to let them go, you want to fix things back to how they used to be.

    Whatever happens, good luck.
    youre so gentle with him p


    feck her, time to move on ...you dont want a girl like that OP


    PLENTY of fish swimming around trust me.
    • #1
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    Thanks for your input guys, would be happy to hear more if anybody else wants to include their opinion!

    I think I'm going to lay the cards down on the table and just say it's me or the holiday.I don't worry about her going to clubs etc anymore it's just the thought of magaluf where my instinct is telling me "no, bad news" I really do love this girl and want to do everything I can to make it work and I feel that without the holiday they would be!

    Is it wrong to give her this ultimatum?
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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    youre so gentle with him p


    feck her, time to move on ...you dont want a girl like that OP


    PLENTY of fish swimming around trust me.
    I too am a fish.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your input guys, would be happy to hear more if anybody else wants to include their opinion!

    I think I'm going to lay the cards down on the table and just say it's me or the holiday.I don't worry about her going to clubs etc anymore it's just the thought of magaluf where my instinct is telling me "no, bad news" I really do love this girl and want to do everything I can to make it work and I feel that without the holiday they would be!

    Is it wrong to give her this ultimatum?
    It's not wrong, no

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    (Original post by Ekervul)
    Look at it this way.
    You can't control her, that is just completely wrong. Hence she will be going to Magaluf, and there's nothing you can really do about it. So why worry about what you can't control?

    That was pretty blunt, but look at it this way; if she goes and she does get with someone, then she is not "the one". If she doesn't, then your relationship will be 10x stronger because 1) She's made a decision not to cheat on you 2)You let her do her own thing.

    Trusting someone goes a long way. If you trust someone, that person knows you respect them. If you don't trust someone, how can they ever think you respect them? And if you don't respect them, are they more or less likely to want to leave you?

    So you think giving her that sort of ultimatum is wrong then?🙈But what its emotionally doing to me with worry is one of the main reasons that I don't feel good about it.And there's bound to be things that would happen over there that I wouldn't hear about too so it would involve constant worry leading upto the holiday, an awful 10 days when she's there and then a constant doubt when she returns. I know most people feel these things when their SO goes on holidays with their friends but the fact it's magaluf with just the four of them, I don't really think it's fair on me. I wouldn't put her through that and I've never given her a reason to doubt me!
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    Give her the ultimatum. After all she'll most likely do far worse things in Magaluf that will make you wish you had broke up with her a lot earlier (that's if she cares enough to tell you honestly). You deserve better. Plus Magaluf is a party destination for people that are most likely single.
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    Shagaluf: harbinger of heartbreak

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    Ahh, yes, Magaluf, where young, single Brits go to get legless and shag the nights away. Bad news written all over it mate given the way you say she gets, I'd have already put my foot down and told her that all the while we're in a relationship, it's not happening.
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    Will get railed whilst there, end it now before she makes you her *****boy. Good luck OP.
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    (Original post by Ekervul)
    Look at it this way.
    You can't control her, that is just completely wrong. Hence she will be going to Magaluf, and there's nothing you can really do about it. So why worry about what you can't control?

    That was pretty blunt, but look at it this way; if she goes and she does get with someone, then she is not "the one". If she doesn't, then your relationship will be 10x stronger because 1) She's made a decision not to cheat on you 2)You let her do her own thing.

    Trusting someone goes a long way. If you trust someone, that person knows you respect them. If you don't trust someone, how can they ever think you respect them? And if you don't respect them, are they more or less likely to want to leave you?
    Its completely acceptable to control her.
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    sluts are gonna slut, doesn't sound like a keeper to me
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Ahh, yes, Magaluf, where young, single Brits go to get legless and shag the nights away. Bad news written all over it mate given the way you say she gets, I'd have already put my foot down and told her that all the while we're in a relationship, it's not happening.
    It's just a holiday destination
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    (Original post by El chapo93)
    It's just a holiday destination
    Apart from bars and clubs there's not much else to do.
    No mueseums, no landmarks, no natural scenery, no culture, no sightseeing.
    Just resorts, a beach and then tons of bars/clubs.
    Enjoy the magaluf strip.
    10/10 holiday destination
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    I personally think that once the trust has gone then the relationship has died. I'd personally end it, not for the magaluf situation but for the fact that your trust has already gone and this certainly won't help.

    Also, are her friends single because single women too are allowed to enjoy no strings attached carefree sex without judgement or name calling from other people. Just a thought.
 
 
 
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