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I'm gay, 15 and don't know if I should come out? Watch

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    (Original post by Beeezeblue)
    I don't think saying I have a boyfriend in casual conversation, after rugby training, or in a free lesson with just guys, who all think I'm straight and often make gay jokes, will go down well?
    Let word get around to them perhaps?

    Yes, there's a chance you'll lose friends perhaps; people are too unpredictable to know for sure.

    Don't make it like a statement to the world, but act and be confident in and with your sexuality. Don't make a point to bring it up in every conversation (a small minority get swept up in this), but don't be afraid / don't hesitate to give normal affection to your boyfriend.

    (Original post by Beeezeblue)
    What do you think we should be doing in the picture? I guess if we did it this way I'd say something like, 'We're gay and dating; we have been for a while. This is who we are and we don't want to lie any more.' What do you think of that?
    I'd remove "This is who we are and we don't want to lie anymore." It sounds insecure, which is an impression you don't want to give.

    Just end it with a smiley?

    Edit #2: Perhaps test the boundaries with some of your friends first.
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    (Original post by threeportdrift)
    Talk to someone in the school, one of the staff. They will have met this situation before and will probably have some helpful ideas. If the teaching staff already know, it will probably reduce any 'shock' reaction among pupils - it will normalise things (as it should be).
    I don't think this is a good idea. In my school (around 1000+ pupils, 250+ in each year) the teachers wouldn't do anything - it probably wouldn't even get around all of the staff because there are so many and most of them don't care. If you tell the school you are making it out to be a big deal. It just makes it twice the more nerve wracking as well because you have to come out twice. I don't get how telling a member of staff will reduce shock reaction? At my school, the teaching staff don't interact with pupils much outside of work stuff, so telling them wouldn't do anything.


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    (Original post by epage)
    I don't think this is a good idea. In my school (around 1000+ pupils, 250+ in each year) the teachers wouldn't do anything - it probably wouldn't even get around all of the staff because there are so many and most of them don't care. If you tell the school you are making it out to be a big deal. It just makes it twice the more nerve wracking as well because you have to come out twice. I don't get how telling a member of staff will reduce shock reaction? At my school, the teaching staff don't interact with pupils much outside of work stuff, so telling them wouldn't do anything.


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    There are some teachers I get on really well with; would it not be a good idea to tell a couple before doing anything else?
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    (Original post by Beeezeblue)
    There are some teachers I get on really well with; would it not be a good idea to tell a couple before doing anything else?
    if you feel they need to know, and if you feel you are prepared to come out more than once. I haven't told any teachers and I feel awkward when people are talking about me being gay around them because I don't feel like its any of their business to know

    to be honest I don't see how telling a teacher helps at all, to me it would just seem a bit weird if I would have gone and told my form tutor or my maths teacher before telling my friends - if it backfires then theres no reason why you couldn't tell them after you've come out to your peers
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    (Original post by epage)
    I don't think this is a good idea. In my school (around 1000+ pupils, 250+ in each year) the teachers wouldn't do anything - it probably wouldn't even get around all of the staff because there are so many and most of them don't care. If you tell the school you are making it out to be a big deal. It just makes it twice the more nerve wracking as well because you have to come out twice. I don't get how telling a member of staff will reduce shock reaction? At my school, the teaching staff don't interact with pupils much outside of work stuff, so telling them wouldn't do anything.


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    Yes, but the OP goes to a boys school, therefore probably fee paying, therefore the staff engagement and support will be there. The politics of that are a different thing :/
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    Many have said it already. You should tell your best friends first? Just bring it up in a conversation, say if I was gay would that change how you feel about me or something similar? Real friends would not give a flying **** as you're their boy. Then you could ask them how to come out to the rest? They'd might give good advice.

    It's difficult even thougj people say it's'2016' crap. No matter what colour, culture, each person does not know how others react. Personally I don't think telling the world helps, just let it out casually, so people won't need to make announcements so it'll be normal.

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    I went to a school where few guys came out and it was a big deal around the school for about 2-3 days and then everybody accepted it. I dont know if your peers are the homophobic type but in my school people of different sexual orientations get lots of support and respect.

    I went to some bad schools at the start so I have an idea of how hard it might be and how wrong it can go. However what I strongly recommend is dont make an announcement about it. Just start acting like a couple around school. If anyone asks just casually say your gay and act like its not a big deal, most people might be shocked but that way you will reduce the amount of rumours etc.

    In regards to your teams after few days explain to them in the changing room after training that youre gay but your not going to rape them when they bendover for the soap... After training is the best as people are more relaxed and happy.

    So in other words be: grounded, confident and yourself! If people dont like you for who you are then they can _____________. You can fill in the gap. Remember there will always be people that respect you.
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    When you go to Sixth Form in September, will all of those same people be with you? Either way, it's probably better to come out sooner rather than later so that everything calms down over summer. Be ready to cut anyone out of your life who does not accept you for who you are. If they can't accept this small part of your identity, they are no friend. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if I was you. If you're calm and relaxed about it, other people will be too. This shouldn't be a big deal, but unfortunately some people might think it is.
    Best of luck to the both of you, and remember to always be proud and not let anyone get you down.
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    You're in sixth form now your past those Secondary school "ha thats gay" homophobic mentality. You should come out but the majority of me thinks you shouldn't, theres always that one person whos really take it to further lengths than they need to
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    I would go ahead and tell, but don't be shy about it, because you shouldn't be. It's perfectly fine to be gay and people should know that. Do whatever feels right to you, and if any doubt, you have your understanding parents to talk to, and your boyfriend. Does your boyfriend have the same problem too? if not, definitely find time to talk to him about it.

    You'll be absolutely fine in sixth form, so don't worry and be HAPPY <3
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    why *wouldn't* you come out?
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    (Original post by sleepysnooze)
    why *wouldn't* you come out?
    Now that's a bit of a silly question.

    Even I know the UK isn't perfect with regards to homosexuality its acceptance/(should-be) indifference.

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    (Original post by sleepysnooze)
    why *wouldn't* you come out?
    Nice name btw.

    Just thought about it; kinda cool.

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    (Original post by XcitingStuart)
    Now that's a bit of a silly question.

    Even I know the UK isn't perfect with regards to homosexuality its acceptance/(should-be) indifference.

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    who should they care? it's about self-pride and self-acceptance.
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    (Original post by XcitingStuart)
    Nice name btw.

    Just thought about it; kinda cool.

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    thanks - you too
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    (Original post by sleepysnooze)
    who should they care? it's about self-pride and self-acceptance.
    Because people care what others think (in most situations.)

    It's not nice to expect (and get) disappointment.

    You end up expecting little off people.

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    (Original post by XcitingStuart)
    Because people care what others think (in most situations.)

    It's not nice to expect (and get) disappointment.

    You end up expecting little off people.

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    yeah, but people shouldn't feel pressured to conform on a sexuality level - that's ridiculous - people shouldn't be who other people expect them to be - they should be who they are - openly and proud. I'm bisexual for example and I don't care if somebody judges me badly for it - and I'm sure people have in my life when I've been open about it (male and female) - if they can't accept me then I can't accept them.
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    (Original post by sleepysnooze)
    yeah, but people shouldn't feel pressured to conform on a sexuality level - that's ridiculous - people shouldn't be who other people expect them to be - they should be who they are - openly and proud. I'm bisexual for example and I don't care if somebody judges me badly for it - and I'm sure people have in my life when I've been open about it (male and female) - if they can't accept me then I can't accept them.
    Its easier said on paper than it is done, its human nature to be liked and accepted socially even back in the day thats how we evolve. It might be easy for you to just say that your gay publicly but for most people its not, you're talking about it as if its some easy task like stepping on an ant hill but it isn't. Especially for people still in education.
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    (Original post by Popsiclez)
    Its easier said on paper than it is done, its human nature to be liked and accepted socially even back in the day thats how we evolve. It might be easy for you to just say that your gay publicly but for most people its not, you're talking about it as if its some easy task like stepping on an ant hill but it isn't. Especially for people still in education.
    I'm sorry but I'm not going to tell gay people that they should hide away their identities. they ought to be strong and proud of who they are. if not, then I have no respect for them, because they don't respect themselves.
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    I also go to an all boys school and a number of lads have came out in the past year and in all honesty, though there may be a small moment of "Omg, I'm surprised he's gay", my impressions of them have not changed at all and I still maintain the same level of relationship I had with them before they came out
 
 
 
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