He smashed his glass table because he was mad at me
i went to visit my boyfriend after two weeks of not seeing him as he was out of town for work. Yesterday I went to see him and he had been an ******* to me all day, we fell asleep, woke up this morning and he was still being snarky he called me stupid, long story short. I couldn't take it anymore and called for a ride home.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
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Original post by Anonymous
i went to visit my boyfriend after two weeks of not seeing him as he was out of town for work. Yesterday I went to see him and he had been an ******* to me all day, we fell asleep, woke up this morning and he was still being snarky he called me stupid, long story short. I couldn't take it anymore and called for a ride home.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
No you did not over react - the man sounds quite volatile - best thing you can do is MOVE on.
Dump him. The guy could easily turn violent on you.
Holy **** dump him OP! Im sorry if this sounds harsh but he is being physically abusive, u dont need to hit someone to do that you know. 
Original post by Anonymous
i went to visit my boyfriend after two weeks of not seeing him as he was out of town for work. Yesterday I went to see him and he had been an ******* to me all day, we fell asleep, woke up this morning and he was still being snarky he called me stupid, long story short. I couldn't take it anymore and called for a ride home.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
Well yup, move away, asap, he ain't gonna be kind to u anymore :/
This is about him - he may have issues?
he could be violent?
abusive perhaps?
Best thing to do is check if his done anything abusive or not
either help him..
talk to him about his issues?
This is NOT your fault at all don't let him tell you other wise
you did a good job of going, maybe he just needed time for his steam to blow or he could've hurt both physically or emotionally
He definitely needs to sort himself out before you come face to face
tbh he also should be affectionate after two weeks as well --
Don't be afraid to say something you have every right to
he could be violent?
abusive perhaps?
Best thing to do is check if his done anything abusive or not
either help him..
talk to him about his issues?
This is NOT your fault at all don't let him tell you other wise
you did a good job of going, maybe he just needed time for his steam to blow or he could've hurt both physically or emotionally
He definitely needs to sort himself out before you come face to face
tbh he also should be affectionate after two weeks as well --
Don't be afraid to say something you have every right to
Original post by squeakysquirrel
No you did not over react - the man sounds quite volatile - best thing you can do is MOVE on.
A normal guy would probably be annoyed at best but he'd never smash a table or something. And it was over something so little as well...
Crap. Knowing someone whose abusive relationship started like this... I'd run
Original post by Seamus123
See him off. IT might be your face next time. Been there, done that.
When and how did he/she start getting physical with you? How long into the relationship and what would trigger them?
Are you a Victim of Domestic Violence?
1. Is your partner threatening or violent towards you or the children?
2. Do you find yourself making excuses or minimizing your partner's behavior?
3. Do you feel completely controlled by your partner?
4. Do you feel helpless, trapped, alone, and isolated?
5. Do you blame yourself for the violence?
6. Does your partner blame you and tell you that you are the cause of all his problems?
7. Do you blame the violence on stress, on drugs/alcohol, or a bad childhood?
8. Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs when he can't account for 100% of your time? Does he tell you jealousy is a sign of love?
9. Do you fear going home?
10. Are you limited in your freedom like a child? (Go to the store and come straight home. It should take you 15 minutes.)
11. Do you find yourself lying to hide your partner's real behavior (for example, saying you fell down the stairs when actually you were pushed)?
12. Are you embarrassed or humiliated by your partner in an effort to control your behavior, especially in public?
13. Does your partner abandon you, leave you places, or lock you out?
14. Does your partner hide your keys, mail, or other important papers?
Progression of Domestic Violence
PHASE 1: Pre-battering violence: verbal abuse, hitting objects, throwing objects, breaking objects, and making threats; increased tension, anger, blaming and arguing. When abusers hit or break objects or make threats, almost 100% resort to battering.
PHASE 2: Beginning levels: pushing, grabbing, restraining.
PHASE 3: Moderate levels : slapping, pinching, kicking, pulling hair.
PHASE 4: Severe levels : hitting, choking, beating with objects, use of weapons, and rape by intimidation, threat or force.
PHASE 5: Calm Stage: Abuser may deny or rationalize the violence, apologizing or promising not to repeat the abuse.(may decrease over time)
The progression of domestic violence may alternate from tension building, where the victim is walking on eggshells to avoid abuse, to the apologetic and remorseful abuser after a violent incident has taken place. Each relationship is different.
Sweet Baby Syndrome (How he gets to come back)
1. Honeymoon Syndrome : any bribe that will get her to return to him. (also known as "Hearts and Flowers"
2. Super Dad Syndrome : he tells her that he will be a great dad if she returns. This works especially if he has neglected the kids in the past.
3. Revival Syndrome : this is not really a valid revival or salvation since he has probably only gone to church only a few times. "I have been going to church every Sunday since you left." I have accepted Christ into my life." He puts the responsibility for his battering on God.
4. Sobriety Syndrome : "If he can stop drinking he will stop beating me" Drinking does not cause beating--if it did, then they would beat strangers on the street.
5. Counseling Syndrome : "I have gone to counseling, I won't do it anymore." Long term counseling is needed and less than 1% voluntarily go into counseling.
1. Is your partner threatening or violent towards you or the children?
2. Do you find yourself making excuses or minimizing your partner's behavior?
3. Do you feel completely controlled by your partner?
4. Do you feel helpless, trapped, alone, and isolated?
5. Do you blame yourself for the violence?
6. Does your partner blame you and tell you that you are the cause of all his problems?
7. Do you blame the violence on stress, on drugs/alcohol, or a bad childhood?
8. Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs when he can't account for 100% of your time? Does he tell you jealousy is a sign of love?
9. Do you fear going home?
10. Are you limited in your freedom like a child? (Go to the store and come straight home. It should take you 15 minutes.)
11. Do you find yourself lying to hide your partner's real behavior (for example, saying you fell down the stairs when actually you were pushed)?
12. Are you embarrassed or humiliated by your partner in an effort to control your behavior, especially in public?
13. Does your partner abandon you, leave you places, or lock you out?
14. Does your partner hide your keys, mail, or other important papers?
Progression of Domestic Violence
PHASE 1: Pre-battering violence: verbal abuse, hitting objects, throwing objects, breaking objects, and making threats; increased tension, anger, blaming and arguing. When abusers hit or break objects or make threats, almost 100% resort to battering.
PHASE 2: Beginning levels: pushing, grabbing, restraining.
PHASE 3: Moderate levels : slapping, pinching, kicking, pulling hair.
PHASE 4: Severe levels : hitting, choking, beating with objects, use of weapons, and rape by intimidation, threat or force.
PHASE 5: Calm Stage: Abuser may deny or rationalize the violence, apologizing or promising not to repeat the abuse.(may decrease over time)
The progression of domestic violence may alternate from tension building, where the victim is walking on eggshells to avoid abuse, to the apologetic and remorseful abuser after a violent incident has taken place. Each relationship is different.
Sweet Baby Syndrome (How he gets to come back)
1. Honeymoon Syndrome : any bribe that will get her to return to him. (also known as "Hearts and Flowers"
2. Super Dad Syndrome : he tells her that he will be a great dad if she returns. This works especially if he has neglected the kids in the past.
3. Revival Syndrome : this is not really a valid revival or salvation since he has probably only gone to church only a few times. "I have been going to church every Sunday since you left." I have accepted Christ into my life." He puts the responsibility for his battering on God.
4. Sobriety Syndrome : "If he can stop drinking he will stop beating me" Drinking does not cause beating--if it did, then they would beat strangers on the street.
5. Counseling Syndrome : "I have gone to counseling, I won't do it anymore." Long term counseling is needed and less than 1% voluntarily go into counseling.
Hope this helps
(edited 7 years ago)
Won't be long before you become the table. Make a decision Stay or Go
Original post by Anonymous
i went to visit my boyfriend after two weeks of not seeing him as he was out of town for work. Yesterday I went to see him and he had been an ******* to me all day, we fell asleep, woke up this morning and he was still being snarky he called me stupid, long story short. I couldn't take it anymore and called for a ride home.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.
My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.
He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
He sounds like a slefish, immature bottom hole on that version of events.
You should have to put up with it, plus he has shown an inability to control his temper. You cna say it was his behaviour that started it and that if you felt it was a one off or it would have worked, then you would have sorted it then, but you felt so uncomfy that you thought leaving him to cool down was your only option. Bullying is dull.
I asked him why he gets to that point he said he can't control it
Original post by Anonymous
I asked him why he gets to that point he said he can't control it
How long have you been dating?
How old are you both?
He is displaying some disturbing traits that should be ringing alarm bells plis his self awareness is poor and maturity/ consideration levels low.
You should have serious reservations about someone who is agressive, a bully, selfish and potentially violent. Relationships have their ups and downs, but he doesnt seem to be able to appreciate things from your point of view. It should always be for you to keep his temper in check, but fro him to control himself. If it has happened before or he doesnt listen then id probably leave.
His problems shouldnt have to be yours. You should never be afraid of your partner. Get him to sort it out (if you think he deserves a chance and want to save it) or dump or just dump anyway. Things could get much worse.
Original post by 999tigger
How long have you been dating?
How old are you both?
He is displaying some disturbing traits that should be ringing alarm bells plis his self awareness is poor and maturity/ consideration levels low.
You should have serious reservations about someone who is agressive, a bully, selfish and potentially violent. Relationships have their ups and downs, but he doesnt seem to be able to appreciate things from your point of view. It should always be for you to keep his temper in check, but fro him to control himself. If it has happened before or he doesnt listen then id probably leave.
His problems shouldnt have to be yours. You should never be afraid of your partner. Get him to sort it out (if you think he deserves a chance and want to save it) or dump or just dump anyway. Things could get much worse.
How old are you both?
He is displaying some disturbing traits that should be ringing alarm bells plis his self awareness is poor and maturity/ consideration levels low.
You should have serious reservations about someone who is agressive, a bully, selfish and potentially violent. Relationships have their ups and downs, but he doesnt seem to be able to appreciate things from your point of view. It should always be for you to keep his temper in check, but fro him to control himself. If it has happened before or he doesnt listen then id probably leave.
His problems shouldnt have to be yours. You should never be afraid of your partner. Get him to sort it out (if you think he deserves a chance and want to save it) or dump or just dump anyway. Things could get much worse.
He is in his mid 20s me early 20s. we've been dating not even six months.
Original post by Anonymous
He is in his mid 20s me early 20s. we've been dating not even six months.
Life too short for such nonsense. Either he apologisesm agrees to change and gets some anger management therapy or you should just say thanks but no thanks and find someone better. Its not that I am concerned for your immediate safety, it is just that he is unlikely to change and twnety five is too old to be behaving like this. the relationship isnt that old, but this problem will crop up again, its in his nature. It is how he deals with things. I'd disentangle myself from it.
You arent expressing great concern or enjoyment of it. Find someone better.
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