Girlfriend cheated on me, but I still love her
I was with her for 2 years, I'm totally in love with her, she's my best friend... But I broke up with her a month ago because she cheated on me/had an affair. She's always been a very flirty person, but for all of our relationship, apart from the last few months, she was totally loyal to me. As soon as I ended it with her, she became his girlfriend (only lasted a month as they broke up a few days ago) and after the break up she continued to lie to me about them spending time together. She doesn't do it anymore, but I still struggle to trust her sometimes, especially if her and the guy spend time alone together, like shopping, or going to restaurants or something, and they're trying to go back to being friends... But i Can't help feeling anxious and jelous when they're alone.
I live in a flat with just her and she is my best friend and like family. We already signed the contract to live with each other for another year, and I do want to live with her.
She said she didn't love me anymore, and that's why she did it, and I was fine with that, I know I can't make someone love me, but she broke up after 2 weeks with that other guy because still has feelings for me and of course I'm still in love with her and so it's hard for us to just be best friends and nothing more... Because We both want more than friendship. We do everything together, we do the same sports, go to the gym together, study together and eat together...It feels like the only thing that's different is knowing that she isn't my girlfriend anymore. So When I see her flirting with guys it still hurts and makes me feel jelous and it feels as if she's cheating on me.... Even though I know she's not mine anymore. This grey area I'm in now is so painful and confusing and my heart is broken and I want to just be her best friend and control our feelings... But easier said than done!
What should I do? I definitely still want her in my life, and she feels the same... We rely on each other so much and both agree we can't live without the other person, but do I try to force myself to just be her best friend, even though it makes both of us sad right now? I know we can't be together because she doesn't truly love me, but is it possible for us to just be best friends again? Should I wait and see what happens or should I do something to control whats happening?
I live in a flat with just her and she is my best friend and like family. We already signed the contract to live with each other for another year, and I do want to live with her.
She said she didn't love me anymore, and that's why she did it, and I was fine with that, I know I can't make someone love me, but she broke up after 2 weeks with that other guy because still has feelings for me and of course I'm still in love with her and so it's hard for us to just be best friends and nothing more... Because We both want more than friendship. We do everything together, we do the same sports, go to the gym together, study together and eat together...It feels like the only thing that's different is knowing that she isn't my girlfriend anymore. So When I see her flirting with guys it still hurts and makes me feel jelous and it feels as if she's cheating on me.... Even though I know she's not mine anymore. This grey area I'm in now is so painful and confusing and my heart is broken and I want to just be her best friend and control our feelings... But easier said than done!
What should I do? I definitely still want her in my life, and she feels the same... We rely on each other so much and both agree we can't live without the other person, but do I try to force myself to just be her best friend, even though it makes both of us sad right now? I know we can't be together because she doesn't truly love me, but is it possible for us to just be best friends again? Should I wait and see what happens or should I do something to control whats happening?
Get rid or prepare for months and months of heartache. Being just friends isn't possible after a break especially one like yours.
She is taking the piss, **** her off.
She is taking the piss, **** her off.
Being just friends after a break up like that isn't going to be easy for either of you. Ideally, it's better to distance yourselves for a couple of months whilst you get over the break up, and get a clear head on what's going on. Obviously you still love her, but you can't keep longing for something that doesn't seem possible for either of you. It's going to be a hell of a lot harder to get over the relationship whilst you're still hanging out.
Tell her to pack her stuff and move in with her boyfriend. She needs to understand the consequences of what she has done to you.
Go no contact. Move out ASAP. (**** the contract) You (and her) clearly need time apart so you can heal. You say she wants you in her life, so why isnt she with you ? To me she seems to be dragging you along as a plan B, and you seem to be following through with it.
I know I sound harsh, but you need to re read what you have written. No1 says its easy breaking up. No1 says its easy moving on. But how much longer are you going to wait while she flirts and sleeps with other guys ? No contact is what you need ASAP.
I know I sound harsh, but you need to re read what you have written. No1 says its easy breaking up. No1 says its easy moving on. But how much longer are you going to wait while she flirts and sleeps with other guys ? No contact is what you need ASAP.
Original post by Anonymous
I was with her for 2 years, I'm totally in love with her, she's my best friend... But I broke up with her a month ago because she cheated on me/had an affair. She's always been a very flirty person, but for all of our relationship, apart from the last few months, she was totally loyal to me. As soon as I ended it with her, she became his girlfriend (only lasted a month as they broke up a few days ago) and after the break up she continued to lie to me about them spending time together. She doesn't do it anymore, but I still struggle to trust her sometimes, especially if her and the guy spend time alone together, like shopping, or going to restaurants or something, and they're trying to go back to being friends... But i Can't help feeling anxious and jelous when they're alone.
I live in a flat with just her and she is my best friend and like family. We already signed the contract to live with each other for another year, and I do want to live with her.
She said she didn't love me anymore, and that's why she did it, and I was fine with that, I know I can't make someone love me, but she broke up after 2 weeks with that other guy because still has feelings for me and of course I'm still in love with her and so it's hard for us to just be best friends and nothing more... Because We both want more than friendship. We do everything together, we do the same sports, go to the gym together, study together and eat together...It feels like the only thing that's different is knowing that she isn't my girlfriend anymore. So When I see her flirting with guys it still hurts and makes me feel jelous and it feels as if she's cheating on me.... Even though I know she's not mine anymore. This grey area I'm in now is so painful and confusing and my heart is broken and I want to just be her best friend and control our feelings... But easier said than done!
What should I do? I definitely still want her in my life, and she feels the same... We rely on each other so much and both agree we can't live without the other person, but do I try to force myself to just be her best friend, even though it makes both of us sad right now? I know we can't be together because she doesn't truly love me, but is it possible for us to just be best friends again? Should I wait and see what happens or should I do something to control whats happening?
I live in a flat with just her and she is my best friend and like family. We already signed the contract to live with each other for another year, and I do want to live with her.
She said she didn't love me anymore, and that's why she did it, and I was fine with that, I know I can't make someone love me, but she broke up after 2 weeks with that other guy because still has feelings for me and of course I'm still in love with her and so it's hard for us to just be best friends and nothing more... Because We both want more than friendship. We do everything together, we do the same sports, go to the gym together, study together and eat together...It feels like the only thing that's different is knowing that she isn't my girlfriend anymore. So When I see her flirting with guys it still hurts and makes me feel jelous and it feels as if she's cheating on me.... Even though I know she's not mine anymore. This grey area I'm in now is so painful and confusing and my heart is broken and I want to just be her best friend and control our feelings... But easier said than done!
What should I do? I definitely still want her in my life, and she feels the same... We rely on each other so much and both agree we can't live without the other person, but do I try to force myself to just be her best friend, even though it makes both of us sad right now? I know we can't be together because she doesn't truly love me, but is it possible for us to just be best friends again? Should I wait and see what happens or should I do something to control whats happening?
You have accepted that position. Trapped yourself in it, so you will have to accept the advantages and disadvantages. If you want to be best friends then stop sleeping with her. I think its hard because you havent got over it and are still hurting. Sounds like you would be better off apart or at least living separately so you can get used to the fact you arent a couple.
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