Why do people knock down other people's confidence?

I don't understand why they do it. I'm someone who has very low confidence mainly because during my teens people at school always picked on me and always putting me down saying I can't get a girlfriend, I'll die alone as a virgin etc. I'm 22 no where and still virgin and never had a girlfriend before so it felt I lost, they won,

Seriously, why do people like them want to to horrible to people like me? I know I'm not academicc not good looking, not anything special but why?

Reply 1

Fenneko

20

We live in a society of constant comparison. Technology has made people self-conscious, and these people will subsequently feel inclined to belittle somebody else in order to feel good about themselves.

Be the bigger man and shrug it off. Virginity is not a bad thing.

Reply 2

She-Ra

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

I don't understand why they do it. I'm someone who has very low confidence mainly because during my teens people at school always picked on me and always putting me down saying I can't get a girlfriend, I'll die alone as a virgin etc. I'm 22 no where and still virgin and never had a girlfriend before so it felt I lost, they won,

Seriously, why do people like them want to to horrible to people like me? I know I'm not academicc not good looking, not anything special but why?

Because it makes them feel good. Usually they are people reflecting on their own stuff and wanting to make someone as miserable as them.

They often do it to improve their sense of status, get the attention they crave, or create a sense of control that they don't feel they have in their lives.

In a way, you have to try and feel sorry for them. But I know that is really hard when you're having a tough time of it yourself and feel like your resilience is getting smashed by people being unnecessarily mean :frown:

Reply 3

fairangel

9

They're jealous and insecure

Reply 4

She-Ra

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by fairangel

They're jealous and insecure

I agree, they definately have more insecurities than they let on....

Schadenfreude

Original post by Drewski

Schadenfreude

That's exactly it.

I'll admit, quite regrettably, that I get some level of pleasure from other peoples' misfortunes. I'm not sure if this is a natural phenomena or not, but I've been trying to fight it over the last few months. I think it will always be there, though. The only difference between myself and the people that the OP is referring to is that I'm not comfortable with this feeling and don't embrace it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by fairangel

They're jealous and insecure

Strangely back then I never knew that was the reason

Reply 8

username1339858_

16

Because they're in a position where they can

Reply 9

Rum Ham

20

If I have learned anything in life it is that those who bring others down are a lot more insecure than the people they taunt.

Reply 10

LilBlonde

8

Original post by Spock's Socks

If I have learned anything in life it is that those who bring others down are a lot more insecure than the people they taunt.

This

OP do you have anyone you can speak to abt this even your GP? :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

I've was picked on through my whole school experience. Now I'm insecure and socially awkward. I know how you feel. If you want to meet someone I'd try online. That's how I found my boyfriend.