Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Family crisis: My mum and my best friends mum have left their husbands for each other Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

    I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

    So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

    I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

    What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devestation caused to my family.

    My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

    How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

    I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

    So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

    I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

    What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devestation caused to my family.

    My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

    How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!
    Just be happy for them
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    http://www.itv.com/jeremykyle/be-a-g...remy-kyle-show
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niteninja1)
    Just be happy for them
    So much easier said than when you are in the family and feel pushed aside or insignificant/that your family has been broken apart to satisfy what appears to be pure sentiment
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by XavierMyshkin)
    So much easier said than when you are in the family and feel pushed aside or insignificant/that your family has been broken apart to satisfy what appears to be pure sentiment
    Do you not want your mum to be happy
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niteninja1)
    Do you not want your mum to be happy
    haha you are acting like it is my situation!

    But I would feel my mother was being selfish if my siblings, father and I had to suffer so she could indulge in a relationship.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niteninja1)
    Do you not want your mum to be happy
    So it's okay for her MOTHER to cheat on her husband and children for another woman, and basically flip her sexuality around (unless she's bi)?

    This is a complete betrayal of trust and love and the promises made. Was so selfish of her.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niteninja1)
    Personally I think monogamy is unnatural anyway.
    You're not helping in any way.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niteninja1)
    Personally I think monogamy is unnatural anyway.
    So is heart surgery and other life saving procedures, yet we still practice those? I'm gonna assume you know what promises are made when you marry someone, and that this woman clearly broke them.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Poor you and your father.
    You did nothing wrong, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Give your father support and you will help each other through this period. You just need to accept this is something that has happened and move on. Over time, the hurt and betrayal will soothe and the immature trolls will stop with their jokes.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    I am so sorry you have to deal with something like that. It's pretty hard and I can't even imagine.
    Talk to your mother and her new girlfriend and tell them what you feel. You shouldn't cut your cords with her but she needs to understand that it's hard on you, your bestfriend and they should be respectful if they want respect as well.
    Support your father. You and your brother try to do things with him, all together, have fun. You need to be there for each other, stick together. The pain will start to fade and the wound will eventually heal, with time and love.
    Forget what others say. I know it's easier said than done but people are always going to joke, judge, share unwanted and unnecessary opinions even if you were the most perfect person or family in the world. Stay true to yourself and just forget about them.
    I wish I could help more, I feel for you. But everything will get better. Sending you love xx
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

    I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

    So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

    I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

    What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devestation caused to my family.

    My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

    How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!
    Is this trolling, or for real?
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    17
    if this was happening to me id kick mum out and have no contact with her whatsoever. side with my dad on everything.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    It's bad that she kept it as a secret and basically cheated but what if her love for your father faded away? Is she supposed to live in a relationship without love? The whole marriage thing is so overrated.. On the other hand, it's a bit selfish of you to say that your mother and her fling should be less visible in public, it's not for you to decide who can do it, it's up to her and if she wants it, she's entitled to.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I am so sorry this has happened to your family. Obviously you love your mum and want her to be happy but she really needs to take into account everyone else's feelings. Speak to her and explain how much hurt she's caused the rest of the family, you're getting teased at school and have lost your best friend, plus your father is heartbroken. If she has any respect for the rest of you, she needs to stop flaunting it.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

    I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

    So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

    I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

    What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devastation caused to my family.

    My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

    How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!
    I am really sorry to hear this. I just saw your message and immediately felt devastated. You need someone to talk to and I will be that person. Are u in year 12? Or year 13? Because I wouldn't want this problem to distract u from ur exams.the students have no right to make jokes when they do not understand ur position. I understand the crap you are going through and u certainly dont deserve this. I will say more but right now I am in form so I will have to go.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    That's awful. The most I can say is to try not to take it out on your best friend. She(?) is probably the only one who knows what you're going through. It'll be good to have someone to share the burden with rather than dealing with all that on your own.

    I can't stop people from being immature :innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent:s, but if you get frustrated you can slide into my PM's and rant about it.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    That's some next level drama
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    rah i feel for you this gay hoe be cheating on ur blood. tbh the whole thing about ur mum being the butt head of jokes can just be flipped around cuz she aint ur mum no more so if you cant beat em join em or you can pull off some next level dramatic act in front the people who make jokes about ur mum by crying & complaining about the whole situation out loud - this s h i t should shock em silly and they'll be more realistic about the situation ur in.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niteninja1)
    Do you not want your mum to be happy
    She/he never said that. Of course they want their mum to be happy! But, how can they be optimistic about this situation when their family is falling apart, and to make matters worse she's being bullied in school about it! Not much to be optimistic about there. How can you not help but feel slightly betrayed by this?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 25, 2017
Poll
Which web browser do you use?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.