The Student Room Group

Too intense when having sex

Hi, so I've recently started having sex with my boyfriend (I was a virgin before this, he wasn't). We tried a new position today and i had to ask him to stop because everything got really intense and I couldn't deal with everything going on... It literally felt like there was too much pleasure there to the point that it was unbearable and no longer a good feeling. Has anyone else had this and how did they combat it because I'm pretty sure I didn't reach my orgasm, although I haven't reached an orgasm before so I may be wrong. TIA
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, so I've recently started having sex with my boyfriend (I was a virgin before this, he wasn't). We tried a new position today and i had to ask him to stop because everything got really intense and I couldn't deal with everything going on... It literally felt like there was too much pleasure there to the point that it was unbearable and no longer a good feeling. Has anyone else had this and how did they combat it because I'm pretty sure I didn't reach my orgasm, although I haven't reached an orgasm before so I may be wrong. TIA


Just talk to him and maybe have a safe word so he knows when to slow down or stop. You need to be able to trust him.
Reply 2
May I suggest pineapple as a safe word. I know, very weird but hey It works.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, so I've recently started having sex with my boyfriend (I was a virgin before this, he wasn't). We tried a new position today and i had to ask him to stop because everything got really intense and I couldn't deal with everything going on... It literally felt like there was too much pleasure there to the point that it was unbearable and no longer a good feeling. Has anyone else had this and how did they combat it because I'm pretty sure I didn't reach my orgasm, although I haven't reached an orgasm before so I may be wrong. TIA


This is a really common problem for women. You're certainly not alone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Ways to combat this:

1) The single most important thing is to be really, really turned on before starting intercourse. This is the single most important tip here, but also the most difficult. The more naturally turned on you are, the more direct stimulation your clitoris can take before the pleasure becomes too intense/unpleasant.

2) Other than that, try using some more lube and avoid directly touching the clitoris, it often feels better when rubbed indirectly by the clitoris hood or something like that rather than touched directly. It's difficult to know quite what to advise here without knowing the position you were in.

But, number one is the most important point. Try some more foreplay first so that you're really worked up and turned on and desperate to go before you begin. It'll feel much better.
Reply 4
Thank you for help, will bear in mind next time :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
This is a really common problem for women. You're certainly not alone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Ways to combat this:

1) The single most important thing is to be really, really turned on before starting intercourse. This is the single most important tip here, but also the most difficult. The more naturally turned on you are, the more direct stimulation your clitoris can take before the pleasure becomes too intense/unpleasant.

2) Other than that, try using some more lube and avoid directly touching the clitoris, it often feels better when rubbed indirectly by the clitoris hood or something like that rather than touched directly. It's difficult to know quite what to advise here without knowing the position you were in.

But, number one is the most important point. Try some more foreplay first so that you're really worked up and turned on and desperate to go before you begin. It'll feel much better.


Should probably be pointed out it's not always just relevant to the clitoris. Some girls can become equally overwhelmed from pleasure from simple penetration as well, and no matter how turned on you are it can sometimes still happen.
Sounds like foreplay didn't last too long. If you're not enjoying sex, let him go down on you. Clitoral stimulation through oral stimuli should help you enjoy sex.

I don't recommend initiating penetrative sex after oral sex until you have orgasmed through clitoral stimulation, as going from intense oral sex to intense penetrative sex is a recipe for a bad night.

Also, use lube. A wet night is a good night :wink:
I have a similar problem, solo is ok, me controlling rhythm and on top nut comes ok. But no way Jose will I hold still and let her take me off, that is way too crazy, way too much. That would mean she would and she could and I it would become my highest joy, highest joy tied to her, that is the problem, but two times in has been done to me as I unwittingly discovered that some very talented and good girls know the way, they are always on my mind, Thanks,you know who you are, and funny thing is a regular gf has not a chance, because my mind automatically puts up too much defenses. The talented girls were both absolutely certain that they could do this, they knew in advance. Oh, I forgot to ask them what they did, how there magic works. I do know that they got under my defenses by coming in quickly. I had that I'm on the run feeling before I gave in within in a minute, crazy stuff.

Quick Reply

Latest