How do I come to terms with being extremely unattractive
The issue is quite simple. I'm very very unattractive. I am a skinny and quite short (5'9) guy. But this isn't even the real issue. The real issue is my face and my receding hairline. My face is at best 2/10. This has lead to girls giving me zero attention. Honestly, I don't blame them. I totally understand why no one want's to get involved with someone they are not attracted to. I don't want to be bitter about this because I get it, from the evolutionary perspective my genes are probably not meant to be spread, it's not more complex than that I guess. However, for some reason, although I am aware of this, I cannot help to feel pity for myself. It's disgusting and depressing really and I do need advice on how I can come to accept the facts of evolution and allow myself to detach myself from my interest of relations and refocusing all that energy on something like my career.
I appreciate all advice's and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, English is my third language.
I appreciate all advice's and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, English is my third language.
(edited 5 years ago)
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Please don't think like this. Believe it or not, confidence has a major impact on how people perceive you. Have you ever watched Jeremy Kyle?
Little things matter too, though, like hygiene - clean your nails, maintain your brows a little bit, beard if you have one, clean your nails, moisturize etc. Personality is obviously a major factor, of course. Also, at least you have a receding hairline! I'm sure there are many guys and girls out there who wish they had at least that. 5'9 isn't that small, either.
Rock what you got!
Little things matter too, though, like hygiene - clean your nails, maintain your brows a little bit, beard if you have one, clean your nails, moisturize etc. Personality is obviously a major factor, of course. Also, at least you have a receding hairline! I'm sure there are many guys and girls out there who wish they had at least that. 5'9 isn't that small, either.
Rock what you got!
Original post by Lilligant22
Please don't think like this. Believe it or not, confidence has a major impact on how people perceive you. Have you ever watched Jeremy Kyle?
Little things matter too, though, like hygiene - clean your nails, maintain your brows a little bit, beard if you have one, clean your nails, moisturize etc. Personality is obviously a major factor, of course. Also, at least you have a receding hairline! I'm sure there are many guys and girls out there who wish they had at least that. 5'9 isn't that small, either.
Rock what you got!
Little things matter too, though, like hygiene - clean your nails, maintain your brows a little bit, beard if you have one, clean your nails, moisturize etc. Personality is obviously a major factor, of course. Also, at least you have a receding hairline! I'm sure there are many guys and girls out there who wish they had at least that. 5'9 isn't that small, either.
Rock what you got!
Why would anyone want a receding hairline?
Original post by geniequeen48
Why would anyone want a receding hairline?
Whoops. I think I phrased that a little weird. I meant that at least he has hair... XD I guess it's one thing to be positive about.
No matter how good looking or not, there are millions of people who think the same of themselves and don't really mind how you look regarding facial structure and such. When it comes to your height, that's not so bad I wouldn't worry about that, when it comes to your weight and being skinny, that is something you can change over time. As you grow older too you usually gain weight naturally because your body slows down. It is easier to put on weight at least anyway.
I would say just try and slowly improve on things over time, try and put on some weight, maybe start doing a bit of workout too if you eat more then the workout helps put on the weight because it stimulates the body... It can actually can make you feel a bit better both physically and mentally too which will help with confidence. Focusing on your own interests and career is usually a good idea anyway too.
What I have found is that looks really doesn't mean all that much compared to other things in the long run. The most important thing regarding attraction is actually confidence. Work on your interests and career, gain some good confidence, make yourself feel better and confident, know what you know, do it all for yourself. Confidence is what attracts others.
I would say just try and slowly improve on things over time, try and put on some weight, maybe start doing a bit of workout too if you eat more then the workout helps put on the weight because it stimulates the body... It can actually can make you feel a bit better both physically and mentally too which will help with confidence. Focusing on your own interests and career is usually a good idea anyway too.
What I have found is that looks really doesn't mean all that much compared to other things in the long run. The most important thing regarding attraction is actually confidence. Work on your interests and career, gain some good confidence, make yourself feel better and confident, know what you know, do it all for yourself. Confidence is what attracts others.
As above confidence is key, but confidence comes from doing things because you want to do them. Wear the clothes that you like and make you feel good, style your hair in a way that suits you, and again, you like, and develop your interests in the rest of your life. Your looks will only be the most important thing about you in finding a relationship if they are what you are founding the relationship on. If you join groups and societies in things you are genuinely interested in and become engaged with them as a member, you are more likely to find a woman who has some real interests in common with you. Personally, the things I have found truly irresistible are talent, passion, and a good understanding of self. Funnily enough, this means that despite receiving a fair amount of attention, I haven't found anyone I am interested in being with, and am de-facto celibate for the foreseeable future.
Rather than rail against the heavens because of how unfair it is that people do not put time and effort into developing themselves as people I have decided to just focus on myself - if someone comes along that I am interested in, fantastic, and if they don't it doesn't matter, because my life is filled with other things.
In summary, focus on yourself, be clean-cut and well-dressed because it makes you feel good and to your own standards, don't worry if no one is paying attention to you, just make sure you yourself are paying attention to you, develop relationships (friendly and possibly otherwise) without any expectations except that you have interest in common which can enrich your lives, and let things develop naturally with people. For the right person there is nothing lacking in you, and vice versa.
And I also agree with the above: Rock what you got!
Rather than rail against the heavens because of how unfair it is that people do not put time and effort into developing themselves as people I have decided to just focus on myself - if someone comes along that I am interested in, fantastic, and if they don't it doesn't matter, because my life is filled with other things.
In summary, focus on yourself, be clean-cut and well-dressed because it makes you feel good and to your own standards, don't worry if no one is paying attention to you, just make sure you yourself are paying attention to you, develop relationships (friendly and possibly otherwise) without any expectations except that you have interest in common which can enrich your lives, and let things develop naturally with people. For the right person there is nothing lacking in you, and vice versa.
And I also agree with the above: Rock what you got!
Original post by Convergence
The issue is quite simple. I'm very very unattractive. I am a skinny and quite short (5'9) guy. But this isn't even the real issue. The real issue is my face and my receding hairline. My face is at best 2/10. This has lead to girls giving me zero attention. Honestly, I don't blame them. I totally understand why no one want's to get involved with someone they are not attracted to. I don't want to be bitter about this because I get it, from the evolutionary perspective my genes are probably not meant to be spread, it's not more complex than that I guess. However, for some reason, although I am aware of this, I cannot help to feel pity for myself. It's disgusting and depressing really and I do need advice on how I can come to accept the facts of evolution and allow myself to detach myself from my interest of relations and refocusing all that energy on something like my career.
I appreciate all advice's and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, English is my third language.
I appreciate all advice's and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, English is my third language.
I'm going to need to see pics or I simply don't believe you about being "extremely unattractive"
I can already see you exaggerating badly about some things [saying you are quite short when you're 5ft 9]
sorry, but I can't take you seriously....
Original post by ANM775
I'm going to need to see pics or I simply don't believe you about being "extremely unattractive"
I can already see you exaggerating badly about some things [saying you are quite short when you're 5ft 9]
sorry, but I can't take you seriously....
I can already see you exaggerating badly about some things [saying you are quite short when you're 5ft 9]
sorry, but I can't take you seriously....
Could you explain to me why one would benefit from making this up? And maybe 5'9 is quite short where I live? And how is quite short even an exaggeration? I never wrote that I am on the verge of being a midget, that would be exaggeration. Actually, I do wish i could show a picture of myself because I believe the discussion could be a lot more fruitful then.
(edited 5 years ago)
Well 5'9 is not short - but anyhow other than that all I have to say is you have to be willing to lower your own standards and find a partner who either thinks they are unattractive or are unattractive you'll be pretty shocked to find out that some of the least attractive partners are actually the best partners to have because they look beyond physical stuff and love you for who you are not what you look like. Sometimes it's a challenge to look beyond the physical attractiveness of a partner but when you do you will be really surprised to find out they are an amazing person in so many ways that you eventually start to find them somewhat or actually attractive once the being in love kicks in.
Original post by Convergence
Could you explain to me why one would benefit from making this up? And making 5'9 is quite short where I live? And how is quite short even an exaggeration? I never wrote that I am on the verge of being a midget, that would be exaggeration. Actually, I do wish i could show a picture of myself because I believe the discussion could be a lot more fruitful then.
I don't believe you are "making it up", I believe you are probably grossly exaggerating about your physical appearance based on your strong exaggeration about your "short" stature
the average height in the UK for a male is 5ft 9/5ft 10
You are hardly "quite short"
and yes, please do show a pic
Original post by dinomite
"quite short"
>5'9
shut up bitc i'm 5'2
>5'9
shut up bitc i'm 5'2
Aren't you a girl?
Original post by Sataris
Aren't you a girl?
am i??
Low self esteem issues of peace.
Unless you're deformed you're not a 2/10 mate.
When you take a look at me, you'll feel better about yourself.
Unless you're deformed you're not a 2/10 mate.
When you take a look at me, you'll feel better about yourself.
Original post by dinomite
am i??
Well, yeah
If you think of skinny as being a negative why dont you build muscle.
I appreciate the responses attempting to address the issue I need help with. See, as I told ANM I do kind of wish that I could show you guys a picture. Maybe a little bit too shy to put in public however... But I guess I could phrase the question in a hypothetical manner. Imagine me as literally a person you would consider 2/10 if you could make such a shallow judgement, or just see me as Shrek. Now, I guess one could argue that rocking what you got is literally not going to work because the value, at least based on appearance is zero on the "sexual market place", if one could call it that. Now, if we can imagine this case, how could one reprogramme their inner desire to find a loving partner if that option is close to impossible due to ones looks? See where im going with this? How could one refocus on other things and ignore the inner desire of finding a partner. I genuinely have a sense that from a evolutionary perspective it is over, and that focus should be put elsewhere.
And if imaging a really unattractive person, maybe I can share pictures with those interested in giving me ideas personally?
And if imaging a really unattractive person, maybe I can share pictures with those interested in giving me ideas personally?
Original post by Convergence
The issue is quite simple. I'm very very unattractive. I am a skinny and quite short (5'9) guy. But this isn't even the real issue. The real issue is my face and my receding hairline. My face is at best 2/10. This has lead to girls giving me zero attention. Honestly, I don't blame them. I totally understand why no one want's to get involved with someone they are not attracted to. I don't want to be bitter about this because I get it, from the evolutionary perspective my genes are probably not meant to be spread, it's not more complex than that I guess. However, for some reason, although I am aware of this, I cannot help to feel pity for myself. It's disgusting and depressing really and I do need advice on how I can come to accept the facts of evolution and allow myself to detach myself from my interest of relations and refocusing all that energy on something like my career.
I appreciate all advice's and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, English is my third language.
I appreciate all advice's and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, English is my third language.
2/10, 'incel':
Spoiler
5/10, not:
Spoiler
A receding hairline is not irremediable; being "skinny" is not irremediable; acne is not irremediable; poor dress-sense is not irremediable. My recommendation is that you re-direct your current self-pity towards rigorous self-improvement: the sooner, the better.
Original post by Profesh
2/10, 'incel':
5/10, not:
A receding hairline is not irremediable; being "skinny" is not irremediable; acne is not irremediable; poor dress-sense is not irremediable. My recommendation is that you re-direct your current self-pity towards rigorous self-improvement: the sooner, the better.
Spoiler
5/10, not:
Spoiler
A receding hairline is not irremediable; being "skinny" is not irremediable; acne is not irremediable; poor dress-sense is not irremediable. My recommendation is that you re-direct your current self-pity towards rigorous self-improvement: the sooner, the better.
Lol that first guy is not a 2/10. Hes just not photogenic
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