do girls really not like nice guys?
i dont mean a like a nerdy guy who doesn nothing but good but someone whos nice to everyone with some offensive humour but never any real rudness,i look somewhat nerdy but im rather fit and so i "hope" the reason isnt because im unnatractive. but whenever i pretend that im rude or nonchalant and kinda just. meh whatever. girls flirt back more or start flirting originally even when ive pretty much never talked to them before? whats yalls take and advise on this?
Original post by cages cages
i dont mean a like a nerdy guy who doesn nothing but good but someone whos nice to everyone with some offensive humour but never any real rudness,i look somewhat nerdy but im rather fit and so i "hope" the reason isnt because im unnatractive. but whenever i pretend that im rude or nonchalant and kinda just. meh whatever. girls flirt back more or start flirting originally even when ive pretty much never talked to them before? whats yalls take and advise on this?
no they hate your kind
Original post by cages cages
i dont mean a like a nerdy guy who doesn nothing but good but someone whos nice to everyone with some offensive humour but never any real rudness,i look somewhat nerdy but im rather fit and so i "hope" the reason isnt because im unnatractive. but whenever i pretend that im rude or nonchalant and kinda just. meh whatever. girls flirt back more or start flirting originally even when ive pretty much never talked to them before? whats yalls take and advise on this?
What's a nice guy?
If a nice guy is someone who acts like a sexless mannequin for three months and then, when he gets a girl alone, word-vomits out 'Hellopleasesexwithmeokybye.', then no. Women do not like them.
If a nice guy is someone who can still toss a (consenting) woman over his shoulder viking style so long as she's in to it, but respects their opinion without lifting them on a pedestal, then yes. Women still like them.
That said, women are people. There are some toxic ones, some who are crazy, some who only like toxic. Don't date those ones.
Original post by ThatOldGuy
What's a nice guy?
If a nice guy is someone who acts like a sexless mannequin for three months and then, when he gets a girl alone, word-vomits out 'Hellopleasesexwithmeokybye.', then no. Women do not like them.
If a nice guy is someone who can still toss a (consenting) woman over his shoulder viking style so long as she's in to it, but respects their opinion without lifting them on a pedestal, then yes. Women still like them.
That said, women are people. There are some toxic ones, some who are crazy, some who only like toxic. Don't date those ones.
If a nice guy is someone who acts like a sexless mannequin for three months and then, when he gets a girl alone, word-vomits out 'Hellopleasesexwithmeokybye.', then no. Women do not like them.
If a nice guy is someone who can still toss a (consenting) woman over his shoulder viking style so long as she's in to it, but respects their opinion without lifting them on a pedestal, then yes. Women still like them.
That said, women are people. There are some toxic ones, some who are crazy, some who only like toxic. Don't date those ones.
i think this is probably the most helpful. thank you. i feel like im willing to do almost anything if the relationship is strong its just getting to that point is akward and very tricky?im not like shy but just words are not my specialty in person.
This should be obvious: being nice doesn't make you attractive, it makes you more attractive than otherwise but still. Not being nice doesn't make you attractive either. So you can be nice and very unattractive. But you'd be even more unattractive if you were not nice. Comprende?
Original post by Kovalensky
This should be obvious: being nice doesn't make you attractive, it makes you more attractive than otherwise but still. Not being nice doesn't make you attractive either. So you can be nice and very unattractive. But you'd be even more unattractive if you were not nice. Comprende?
yuh i kinda knew that was the general idea so this is more so peoples general opinion on the subject.didnt mean to sound like some like dude who thinks hes nice and expects immiadeate female companionship like being nice is special and i deserve a cookie.was just wondering the different perspectives and what i can do better.
Original post by cages cages
i dont mean a like a nerdy guy who doesn nothing but good but someone whos nice to everyone with some offensive humour but never any real rudness,i look somewhat nerdy but im rather fit and so i "hope" the reason isnt because im unnatractive. but whenever i pretend that im rude or nonchalant and kinda just. meh whatever. girls flirt back more or start flirting originally even when ive pretty much never talked to them before? whats yalls take and advise on this?
IMHO, a lot of this depends on how you define what a "nice guy" is. Maybe it's the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", but I often find a woman's definition of a nice guy is quite different to what a mans definition of a nice guy is, I'll try and explain:-
Woman's idea of a nice guy:- Someone who is smart, funny, well presented; knows what he wants in life and isn't afraid to strive for it; educated to a recognised standard (e.g. a degree); realises everyone (including himself) has the right to feel good; someone who is more than capable of standing up for himself or what he feels is right; someone who can support her in what she wants to do... but also challenge and test her (in a good, nurturing way)... and most importantly, someone who doesn't hit her, cheat on her, patronise her or otherwise treat her like something he's stepped in.
Man's idea of a nice guy:- Someone who is there at her every beck and call and never more than a phone call away; someone who put his girlfriend on a pedestal and will literally do anything to please her (even if it's at his own detriment); someone who puts EVERYONE'S needs above his own and he ends up suffering because of it; will always back down in any conflict or argument (even if he is blatantly in the right); will ALWAYS put any girl who shows him the slightest interest above everything else in his life (resulting in cutting off from his friends); will always forgive her and take her back after cheating or taking other liberties... blah blah etc.
Hope it's clear the woman's idea of a nice guy is somewhat similar to the so-called "bad-boy" but without the negative bits, while the mans idea of a nice guy is little more than a doormat or a meal ticket at best. I always view this as a sliding scale, with the doormat at one end and the uncontrollable bad-boy at the other... with the woman's idea of a nice guy (lets' call them good-guys) as a happy-medium.
The other thing I find is that there's a huge difference between people being nice because they feel it's the right thing to do in polite society, and those who are nice because they're expecting something in return. For instance, if I see someone coming behind me, I'll always hold the door open for them (man or woman, dog or cat lol), and I don't expect anything more than a simple thank you type gesture (NGL, it really narks me if people don't say it though... and if there's another door I make a point of letting it slam in their face (I'm not a petty man... honest guv).
On the other hand, you get those types who are only "nice" to particular people; normally because they want something and then they throw their toys out the pram when it doesn't work out for them. I remember there was one guy who came across sweet and innocent to girls, but would s*** on any boy (including snitching on them for any little thing).
A word of warining... I'd be carful about the "offensive humour" bit if it's not your natural guise as there's always a risk you'll cross a line. Most people who are naturally "Cheeky Chappies" will naturally know how far to push it, and can quickly recover if they have overstepped the mark.
Original post by cages cages
i dont mean a like a nerdy guy who doesn nothing but good but someone whos nice to everyone with some offensive humour but never any real rudness,i look somewhat nerdy but im rather fit and so i "hope" the reason isnt because im unnatractive. but whenever i pretend that im rude or nonchalant and kinda just. meh whatever. girls flirt back more or start flirting originally even when ive pretty much never talked to them before? whats yalls take and advise on this?
absolutely . Most girls i know including myself are now becoming impressed and quite happy whenever we meet a guy with general human decency like great hygiene, politeness and respect, thoughtfulness etc. Generally if you want girls to see past your looks and demeanour then go about life being great and trust that someone will notice because the one thing i realised is that absolutely everyone will be noticed as special by at least one person. Trust me being rather fit is great because whenever I hear girls talking about guys' physiques they talk about the dedication that must've gone into those as well. We really do try to see the best but of course many think guys should make the first move or that they need some guy out of a book. i can guarantee you girls have been/ are interested in you and they probably flirt more when you talk less because it adds tension and mystery- it sets a tone for the relationship whereas if you already have one set its more difficult to initiate something
you guys are great, thanks for the advise. 
Too nice is off putting
Original post by Big Beth Girl
Too nice is off putting
i could see that, especially if you just met the guy as it might seem like he has alterior motives or just kinda... off in general
Original post by cages cages
i could see that, especially if you just met the guy as it might seem like he has alterior motives or just kinda... off in general
Yes it is the ones who are nice that then expect sex afterwards, saying that there's the other type of nice when they are just a complete pushover
Original post by Big Beth Girl
Yes it is the ones who are nice that then expect sex afterwards, saying that there's the other type of nice when they are just a complete pushover
im defiedently not a push over with my guy friends and strangers but its like whenever im around girls i use like a really light voice and end up sweating and stuff the light voice is definet... not fear but nervousness i guess.and i have been trying to be more chill and kinda just.normal like with my dudes.
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