Would you leave your partner for this?

So my partner of 4 years broke up with me a month ago because “she cared too much to watch me destroy myself”.

The reason for this was because I started drinking a lot and doing drugs , I never hid it from her , she tried to help me for 3 months but I still drank (secretly) , however I was not an abusive or reckless drunk , I was able to hold down a good job , go to uni and I was still the same with her , so I don’t get why someone would leave when you are not causing them any harm , it’s my liver that the alcohol is going to not hers. If I was abusing her or being reckless I could understand but I was literally totally normal around her and other people.

So do you guys think this is a valid reason? , or is she just lying and there is another reason. Would YOU leave your partner if you were in the same position? .

I never hid it from her , she tried to help me for 3 months but I still drank (secretly)

If they showed such a flagrant disregard for their own health and wellbeing - which would eventually come back to me, when it's no longer someting they could manage - then absolutely I would.

You sound intelligent and lucid, which means that you've taken a fully conscious decision to do these things in spite of knowing what harm they will eventually do to you, and in spite of your ex girlfriend voicing her discomfort with it and caring enough about you to want to help you out of it. This is a very toxic attitude to have, and is indicative that you are capable of using and manipulating people, and other psychological abuse - aside from whatever else you might be capable of under the influence.

So yes, I would. In spades. And your ex girlfriend was completely right to do it too.

3 months seems a little too short a time to give up after. Especially if you have been together for 4 years.

But, yes eventually it s a valid reason - certainly it is if you are not yet married.

Basically, if you want her back:

pull your **** together - stop being irresponsible - grow up - become a man - and be a good partner. Stop drinking to much, and stop taking drugs.

Do you realise how hard it is to sit and watch someone you love slowly crumble in front of you? Or to sit next to a hospital bed watching your man slowly die of liver failure? I doubt it. That's what you'd be putting her through if you carried on, so don't say you're only hurting yourself because that's absolute rubbish.

If you want her back, change. If you can't, you need to get help for your problem.

If you would rather carry on drinking than be with her then that says a lot to me.

Yes, she was right to end it with you.

Do you realise how hard it is to sit and watch someone you love slowly crumble in front of you? Or to sit next to a hospital bed watching your man slowly die of liver failure? I doubt it. That's what you'd be putting her through if you carried on, so don't say you're only hurting yourself because that's absolute rubbish.

If you want her back, change. If you can't, you need to get help for your problem.

If you would rather carry on drinking than be with her then that says a lot to me.

Yes, she was right to end it with you.

Thanks for the input guys, I guess you are all right in some way , it is my fault and I should stop blaming her for leaving , although it would have been nice to have her by my side still but I think that ship has long sailed. Since the breakup I have stopped using drugs but am still trying to stop drinking , however the depression from the breakup is making that very very hard for me to do. I hope somewhere down the line when I am a sober and better person I can meet her again but she will probably move on by then.