My dad has always been very on and off with me. He openly told me he never wanted a daughter, and only stopped saying that when I was 8 and joined a football team, then when I stopped playing football he stopped paying attention to me again. It wasn't until I was 14 and mum moved me and her and my brother away that dad took an interest in me again.
As a father, he's very strict. He looks down on me and makes fun of me, either criticising my appearance or my life choices in general. Whenever I made friends he'd interrogate them and go out of his way to embarrass me or upset them if he didn't like them, and he's forbidden me from dating or getting a job until after uni, thinking I need to devote 100% of my attention to my studies. And when I do devote all my attention to my studies, he calls me stupid for needing to study and not just knowing these things already and a loser for not spending time with my friends, and when I do all this and tell him about a good grade I got, he asks why it isn't 100% (I literally got 94% on my latest coursework piece and all he asked was why wasn't it 100).
Because of all this, I don't like telling him anything about my life. I go to great length to make sure he doesn't know anything about my life. I have spent the last 4 years I've been living away from him building a social life complete with great friends, a waitressing job, and a boyfriend of 2 years, none of which he knows about.
As I live with my brother he has a far better picture of my life than dad does. He and dad have been growing closer since he turned 16. While my brother enjoys visiting dad once a month, I have to as I can't afford my books for uni and dad only pays for them so long as I go see him.
I have accounts on various social media platforms which I have made a conscious effort to hide from dad. I also have the previously mentioned friends and boyfriend. And my job. Dad knows nothing about any of these things. My brother does.
Over the last half a dozen or so visits my brother has gradually told my dad about all of these for no reason. And with no prompting. Dad has followed me on twitter, facebook, and instagram, all of which I have fake names on and he has found me because my brother linked him. Dad also wants to meet my boyfriend, which just isn't happening. And he's annoyed at me for having friends for 4 years and a boyfriend for 2 (who I was friends with for 2 years before that) that I didn't tell him about.
How can I best contain the situation?