Will my boyfriend ever be able to forgive me?

Did you take drugs, sleep with the guy, or something else? Your post doesn't say what you actually did.

You're being too harsh on yourself. You didn't even do anything.

Making a mountain out of a molehill.

All I did was message the guy asking whether he was at the festival. I didn’t end up doing drugs but that was my only intention of why I spoke to him because I wanted to buy it. In the end he never replied anyway.

Thank you but I shouldn’t have messaged the guy though. My boyfriend is hurt as I could have messaged anyone but because it was him and I know he’s tried to chat me up before it makes it worse. There wasn’t any further intention there but I can see if I was in my boyfriends position I’d be hurt too

Why did you even tell him? I think you’re blowing this out of proportion. The dealer part would concern me more than anything else. How do his friends know? Your boyfriend shouldn’t be trying to shame you by telling his friends. The whole thing is confusing.

He saw the message on my phone the next day. It’s just the way he’s reacted has made me feel this way he said he’ll never look at me in the same way again.

Does he check your phone regularly? That still doesn’t explain why he told his friends. I think your boyfriend is a manipulative drama queen.

The way my boyfriend has reacted though it isn’t and I’m just worried all his friends will look at me differently now.

I’m not sure my phone was charging next to him at night and the next morning he confronted me about it. He told his friends as he was hurt. I’m just dreading seeing his friends as we all see each other a lot and he said their opinion has changed of me.

I did something awful. I truly regret it. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years but at the weekend I got drunk and I messaged a boy asking whether he was at the festival I was at. This guy had messaged me previously and however I’d ignored it last year and my boyfriend said to never message him again. Disgusting I know but I knew he was a dealer and because I was at a festival that was why I had asked him. I have never done anything like this before and I hate myself for it. I’m scared my boyfriend will never look at me in the same way. His friends know too and they said they can’t believe a quiet girl like me would do this. I feel so ashamed.

1. If they look at you differently over this, it says more about them than it does about you.

2. Yes you should be worried now. Not because of what you've done, but because of the nature and size of your boyfriend's reaction.

3 His reaction shows a lack of tolerance on his part.

4 Your reaction to his reaction shows a lack of assertivenes on your part. That's fine. It's great to be sensitive to the emotions of one's romantic partner. What's less fine is that you don't feel comfortable asserting yourself in this situation and therefore what that says about your relationship with your boyfriend.

5 If your boyfriend expects perfection from you, he has another thing coming.

6 Never beat yourself up over the odd mistake. If anyone isn't making approximately 2 major mistakes per year they are not living life to the full. They are staying too much within their comfort zones. This applies particularly at work, but also in one's personal life.

7 It sounds like your boyfriend is being immature and controlling over this. That he is using this as an excuse to beat you down so he can control you.

8 I wouldn't blame you if you left him over this. So that you would be free to find someone with much higher levels of tolerance. And someone who is far more supportive of you. And far less negative.

9 If the tables were turned and your boyfriend made a similar mistake, how would you react?