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Complicated relationship

I am in a relatioship with a guy who is married to a foreginer when he was 22. They've been together for 5 years.
Things didn't work out between them, because she cheated on him. Moreover they were too young to understand this.
Now I found out that, she's been living in the country and she's married to him and living under him to get her visa.
My boyfriend fell in love with me and wants me to spend the rest of my life with him but he's still married.
He says that he wants to apply for a divorce but his wife says that she needs to wait for a year till she can get a visa of her own.
And I'm stuck here not knowing what to do.

Now he started gyming and he does it twice a day.
And I work 9 hours a day. He'a DJ and he doesnt work everyday, he gets gigs twice a week maybe and work for 4 hours max.
He stoppd paying attention to me. Sometimes I feel that he's just lost interest in me. Or I'm less attractive. He doesn't look at me like how he used to before. Ever since he started gyming, his behavior has changed.
He's always moody, cranky, agressive, tired or sleepy.

But when I decide to go out and chill with my freinds, he gets pissed off. Because when I like to chill, I like to get high and socilaise which he is not okay about it, especially the fact of me getting high.
That's why when I have to meet my friends, I hide and go meet them. But I got caught and he says he doesnt trust me.

Now, I am stuck not knowing what to do.
I want to settle down and start a family.
But the fact of him being married, is putting me on hold and thats why I want to chill and enjoy my life before I get married.
Until he gets his divorce, is why I am rebellious and care free at the moment.

He says that I want him and my fun.
But with him it is me and his gym?

I dont know how to relate to this and I am so confused as to what I should do?

Reply 1

Xarao

Both of use sound immature.

You "hid" to meet up with your friends? Just break up already my god.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

This is not the best foundation for a relationship, especially one that leads to a healthy family. Quite frankly, I think you should just end thing with him. You are not obligated to wait for his wife to receive her visa. Why get yourself involved with a married man, regardless of his current situation in his marriage? There are plenty of single guys who have no strings attached to them and could give you the attention and time and put in the effort in the relationship. It's clear you both are different, so why drag yourself longer through this dead end relationship. Without trust in a relationship, it won't work. Things will only get worse. It's better to end things before they go down further. I understand you love this guy but this is such a tangled web of things. What if you wait until all his estranged wife's visa process is over and he dumps you for someone else? You would have wasted that year by his side for nothing. He has changed and you are seeing the signs very clearly. Remove yourself from the relationship and build a healthier one with someone else.