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(very long post) Worried parents will get back together

We *had issues when I was a child and we had to move out. Parents split up. We bought another house but it took a long time with finances and the we had issues that bad that we had to just get an estate agent to find a landlord to give us a temporary house because the problems were too much. We couldn't just wait a few months for the financial to go through.

I was about 18/19 and I was worried my adulthood was going to be like controlling and the the same as my childhood because that was a mess so had 2 siblings and my parents in our house. A lot in my childhood I was given lots of work in during the day on school holidays before I go back to school and when I went back to school my mum would still make us do work after school that she as well as homework which I got rarely so we didn’t get much free time to just chill like normal kids. When I was younger one time my mum just told us it’s back to reality soon as September is coming up and I said I don’t want to do work after school because I have been to school for hours and every other kid watches tv but just got told tough I have no choice, I explained everyone else gets to chill do whatever after school, watch tv and play on games and I said it’s unfair so I said life’s not fair. I end up tantrum over it because I kept telling my mum so many times but she was still forcing us to do work when we got home weather we like it or not we all had to do it. Even on weekends we had to then on school days I just had do work for hours after school then she let us watch tv for about an hour before bed. I just wanted to just come home from school and chill like everyone else but no my mum said that will ruin our education.

My dad helped he went and bought my brother a game console his birthday after them asking him but we knew full well our mum was going to say no because she banned game consoles are banned from this house. She got him to return the console back to the shop, my sibling was so annoyed over it saying he wants to keep it but my mum made it clear no but my mum made my dad run to the garage with the to lock the box in otherwise my son would unpackaged it. My dad also bought a watch which my mum knew nothing about because we knew she’ll say return it immediately so got my dad to hide it but my mum begged my dad to return it in the end, he then had the tried to argue and say it’s his money and his buying a present for his me. My mum kept asking him to return it so I’m the end he did. She kept moaning about money of the gifts I was upset about the fact my mum thought that was a good idea to take gifts off us. I don’t know what she thinks she was getting him to return all these things. We were financially stable and I knew it. It’s just not good to receive presents then get them returned. I know we were financially stable, I have been told now we were financially stable all the way through.

When I was younger things like this used to happen regularly so me and my siblings were asking for a food out to my dad because we very very rarely even got takeaways but my mum said leave it because I’m making the usual food as always, my dad agreed he’s not getting it and told us no. She goes to have a shower for 15 or 20 minutes and we just sneak out in my dads car and my mum come out sees my brother holding a big bag, asks what is in and he don’t say so she keeps asking but still doesn’t say. She just wrestled the bag off him to find what we have got and finds out been to out. So I chucks the food outside in the garden for the birds and made everyone eat her food.

I’m just honestly been thinking about all this, this was my childhood we had to go behind her back to get some food and she throws it away considering we barley had food out we always had her food every single day. So yes that was my childhood. We had to work most of the evening after school. We got our gifts returned to the shop. It’s a lot different to other childhoods like my mates. All this happened between 6 years old and the returning gifts stopped but I still got controlled a bit till the age of about 18 maybe 19 then we finally decided to just move out so we live separate from our mum now and things are better.

It is all done with now, we just forgot everything until a few years later my parents start talking again and they are friends but I'm starting to think they going to get back together because it happens. Also my parents said, they hate each other, they'll never be friends again, they said they'll never see each other again, they are now talking more often and they are both single now. If they get back together I'm just going to end up reliving my childhood back and my adult hood will potentially be the same. I'm happy now because ever since I was a child I've actually enjoyed getting older and I still do because my adulthood has been so good. I'm 23 now and I much prefer it to when I was younger. If my parents get back together it potentially just going to go back to square on when I was a child, I know I could move out but this just **** because I live with my dad and its just good like I can stay as long as I can but if my parents get back together then I'm pressured to leave.

Please?

What are my options if this doesn't happen in worse case scenario?

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

You need to confide in your dad about this. Tell him honestly about the anxiety this is giving you. Are both your parents homes owned by them? If they are ask your dad if you could live in his house separately if he decides to get back with your mother. Either that or you'll just have to endure living with her and going through the crap until you do eventually move out. Its not right but it can be done, many of us have lived through our parents horrible marriage and regimes, you either get used to it or you move out. But it wouldn't be right for me to say try and convince your parents to break up, when they reach that age they get lonely and don't really have many other offers. Everyone deserves someone in their life, even if that person isn't right for them.