how to deal with these ppl?

i'm currently in yr11 and there have been some ppl in school that have been mean to me and none of them have apologized and i still remember, what each person did?
just the thought of them not caring abt what they did just hurts because im hurting sm and to add this on it just makes it work
also a few of these ppl are in my lessons and i try to avoid them but its like they want to bully me more

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by hurtinguser

As one person who has delt with 2 years of nonstop teasing, I can assure you that the sooner you learn to not care, the better. Even if it hurts (and it will take a while to learn how to forget) it'll get better if you don't let it get to you. I know it is hard.

However, if things escalate or if it is a personal attack like, say, an insult out of nowhere, stand up to it. Often people continue to do things other don't like because nobody says anything against it. But don't yell, don't insult back, don't put yourself at their level. Sternly but calmly tell them not to talk to you like that. Don't overexplain and or give them a lecture. Be cold even. Just give your intentions clear and straight. Even if they answer things like "you don't tell me what to do" just repeat it. What brings bullies down is repetition and seeing their victims stern and sure of themselves. Sure, it takes guts, a lot of them to bring the strngth to say something, more if it has become a regular thing. But I assure you, they will get tired.

However, if they seem to be very short minded, they will keep on going. Maybe even turning your friends against you. Don't let that bring you down. If your friends easily believe them, then they weren't that good of friends. Make sure to surround yourself with people who really trust you and that you know that they will not believe a random bully. Even, if they hear something about you, that they'll talk to you too to clear things up.

If for some reason, it becomes even more unbearable, I 100% would say to talk to an adult. It doesn't have to be your teachers or parents. You must talk about it with someone you trust and believe that will help you. That can be parents, teachers, friends, siblings, nearly anyone. Just know that there will always be someone who'll want to help you. I know it.

Lastly, please don't let this get to you. You are a great person. They aren't doing this because something is off about you. They are doing this because being mean is the only way they find to keep control and/or bring attention to themselves. It's a them problem at the end of the day. I know it can take time to heal the wounds (even if they are big or small) and stand up for yourself. It can also take a while for them to leave you alone but it will get there eventually. My problem disappeared when they left my school 2 years later! Stay strong and true to yourself.

Hope this chunk of writing is of some help. Sending strength and love towards you! <3