Not being close to my uni friends
Hi. I have finished my first year of University. However, I still don’t feel as close to my University friends. At the start, I tried to be more outgoing and introduce myself to more people. I did get to know a few of my classmates but with time, eventually everyone formed their own friend groups and so did I. However, I still do not feel as close to my University friend group as compared to my other friends. At times I do think about it and wonder if I’m doing anything wrong and it does make me sad because I wish that things were different. I don’t know how to explain it, but the vibes are different as compared to my other friends? I know I shouldn’t be too worried about it but it has been on my mind for quite some time. I can’t help but feel worried and sad by it.
I felt exactly the same. I would just go the gym and focus on other things. Maybe start an activity
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I have finished my first year of University. However, I still don’t feel as close to my University friends. At the start, I tried to be more outgoing and introduce myself to more people. I did get to know a few of my classmates but with time, eventually everyone formed their own friend groups and so did I. However, I still do not feel as close to my University friend group as compared to my other friends. At times I do think about it and wonder if I’m doing anything wrong and it does make me sad because I wish that things were different. I don’t know how to explain it, but the vibes are different as compared to my other friends? I know I shouldn’t be too worried about it but it has been on my mind for quite some time. I can’t help but feel worried and sad by it.
Hello,
How often do you spend with those new friends? Remember it’s only your first year of univeristy so you’ve not even know most of these friends for a year, whereas throughout school you would be seeing those older friends every single day most weeks. It’s completely natural that you feel like you aren’t as close to your new friends after such a change!
My advice would be not to think about it as much. They may not be as close or share childhood memories, but they are still objectively your friends and you should embrace that connection. It’s different but still a definite friendship.
Hope this helps,
Dom
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I have finished my first year of University. However, I still don’t feel as close to my University friends. At the start, I tried to be more outgoing and introduce myself to more people. I did get to know a few of my classmates but with time, eventually everyone formed their own friend groups and so did I. However, I still do not feel as close to my University friend group as compared to my other friends. At times I do think about it and wonder if I’m doing anything wrong and it does make me sad because I wish that things were different. I don’t know how to explain it, but the vibes are different as compared to my other friends? I know I shouldn’t be too worried about it but it has been on my mind for quite some time. I can’t help but feel worried and sad by it.
Hi Anon,
I think it is completely normal and probably more common than you think to be feeling this way! University is a big step and you're meeting so many new people, so don't worry if you don't feel as close to these university friends as your other friends. Also, I wouldn't worry, as you've only just finished first year! You have plenty of time to get to know them better and to meet other people too.
My advice would be (as the Lancaster Rep has already said) to not think about it too much. These people are your friends, maybe just in a different way than you're used to, and in a different environment! Get involved in sports and societies, volunteer, and do any other activities that you enjoy, and you'll end up meeting other people too.
I hope this helps,
Isabella
(edited 8 months ago)
Original post by Lancaster Student Ambassador
Hello,
How often do you spend with those new friends? Remember it’s only your first year of univeristy so you’ve not even know most of these friends for a year, whereas throughout school you would be seeing those older friends every single day most weeks. It’s completely natural that you feel like you aren’t as close to your new friends after such a change!
My advice would be not to think about it as much. They may not be as close or share childhood memories, but they are still objectively your friends and you should embrace that connection. It’s different but still a definite friendship.
Hope this helps,
Dom
How often do you spend with those new friends? Remember it’s only your first year of univeristy so you’ve not even know most of these friends for a year, whereas throughout school you would be seeing those older friends every single day most weeks. It’s completely natural that you feel like you aren’t as close to your new friends after such a change!
My advice would be not to think about it as much. They may not be as close or share childhood memories, but they are still objectively your friends and you should embrace that connection. It’s different but still a definite friendship.
Hope this helps,
Dom
Hi Dom, I do see them pretty regularly, but sometimes we don't talk to each other or hang out as often outside of school. I think I may have been overthinking the situation a bit too much, so thank you for nudging me on that. I will heed your advice and take things slowly without thinking so much about it. Thankyou for taking the time to reply.
Original post by UniofChester Rep
Hi Anon,
I think it is completely normal and probably more common than you think to be feeling this way! University is a big step and you're meeting so many new people, so don't worry if you don't feel as close to these university friends as your other friends. Also, I wouldn't worry, as you've only just finished first year! You have plenty of time to get to know them better and to meet other people too.
My advice would be (as the Lancaster Rep has already said) to not think about it too much. These people are your friends, maybe just in a different way than you're used to, and in a different environment! Get involved in sports and societies, volunteer, and do any other activities that you enjoy, and you'll end up meeting other people too.
I hope this helps,
Isabella
I think it is completely normal and probably more common than you think to be feeling this way! University is a big step and you're meeting so many new people, so don't worry if you don't feel as close to these university friends as your other friends. Also, I wouldn't worry, as you've only just finished first year! You have plenty of time to get to know them better and to meet other people too.
My advice would be (as the Lancaster Rep has already said) to not think about it too much. These people are your friends, maybe just in a different way than you're used to, and in a different environment! Get involved in sports and societies, volunteer, and do any other activities that you enjoy, and you'll end up meeting other people too.
I hope this helps,
Isabella
Hi Isabella,
You are right. These people are my friends, and I may have been thinking too much about the situation until I got pretty sad. Indeed, I guess I do take longer than others to adapt to change, which explains my feelings. I shall not compare them to my other friends and just let things be. Thanks for taking the time to write this, heartfelt reply! I really appreciate it.
Anon,
Friends are different.
You can have friends who you might hang out with and have a laugh with, who might not be there when you are going through a tough time, and there are friends who you might not have as much in common with, who are quiet, and who you don't hang out with as much, who might be the ones who come through for you when you need them. We don't always know the people who will help us in a crisis and who will show themselves to be better friends than expected!
Give your friends some time, don't apply unrealistic expectations (they haven't known you for that long and they are adjusting to life at uni too – you also might not know what is going on in their personal lives) and wait to see what they are like when you need help or when you are stressed. They might really come through for you – if not, at least you will know the level of your friendship.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield
Friends are different.
You can have friends who you might hang out with and have a laugh with, who might not be there when you are going through a tough time, and there are friends who you might not have as much in common with, who are quiet, and who you don't hang out with as much, who might be the ones who come through for you when you need them. We don't always know the people who will help us in a crisis and who will show themselves to be better friends than expected!
Give your friends some time, don't apply unrealistic expectations (they haven't known you for that long and they are adjusting to life at uni too – you also might not know what is going on in their personal lives) and wait to see what they are like when you need help or when you are stressed. They might really come through for you – if not, at least you will know the level of your friendship.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I have finished my first year of University. However, I still don’t feel as close to my University friends. At the start, I tried to be more outgoing and introduce myself to more people. I did get to know a few of my classmates but with time, eventually everyone formed their own friend groups and so did I. However, I still do not feel as close to my University friend group as compared to my other friends. At times I do think about it and wonder if I’m doing anything wrong and it does make me sad because I wish that things were different. I don’t know how to explain it, but the vibes are different as compared to my other friends? I know I shouldn’t be too worried about it but it has been on my mind for quite some time. I can’t help but feel worried and sad by it.
Sorry to hear you're feeling this way.
It's totally normal for friends to drift apart, it doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong or that you're not even friends anymore, it just means people have grown and developed. It's okay to have more than one friendship group too, as long as you invest in them all. If it would make you feel better you could always have a chat with them and see if they feel the same way, the important thing to remember is that you have nothing to feel bad about.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I have finished my first year of University. However, I still don’t feel as close to my University friends. At the start, I tried to be more outgoing and introduce myself to more people. I did get to know a few of my classmates but with time, eventually everyone formed their own friend groups and so did I. However, I still do not feel as close to my University friend group as compared to my other friends. At times I do think about it and wonder if I’m doing anything wrong and it does make me sad because I wish that things were different. I don’t know how to explain it, but the vibes are different as compared to my other friends? I know I shouldn’t be too worried about it but it has been on my mind for quite some time. I can’t help but feel worried and sad by it.
Hi,
Sorry about how you feel. I find in my 2nd year now that the friendships I made in first year have grown even stronger and I have spoke with more people in my 2nd year and made a new life long friend.
I do find there is a pressure to make these amazing friends straight away, however it takes time you've only been there a year, you have two more! But don't compare your friendships to others as the phrase comparison is the thief of joy. I found a lot of the time I was comparing my friendships to others rather than actually spending time with my friends and realising how great they truly are.
Maybe try and join a society or a sports team as this can be a great way of making some new friends if you are worried these are not the people for you. You could also maybe if these friends and yourself are one big friendship group you could try and sort meeting up with them over the summer or organise a day to be together when you get back to university. As this may calm your thoughts and make you feel a bit better.
Hope that helps!
Rebecca
2nd Year Geoenvironmental Hazards Student
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